Remus Lupin
by Linda Lupos
Summary: The life of our beloved Werewolf, from The Bite until book 3
1. The Beginning

**Disclaimer: **All the familiar characters belong to JK Rowling, the rest is mine!

**Rating: **mostly PG13, but there's going to be an NC17 chapter, I'll warn for that one though.

**Paring: **James/Lily, Sirius/Half the girls in Hogwarts, Remus/?

**Summary: **This is basically the story of Remus Lupin's life from the day he was bitten until he falls asleep in the Hogwarts Express, right before Harry & Co walk in. 

**Further things to say: **I'm Dutch. Always have been. Dutch is my first language, and I can speak English fluently, but it's not my native tongue. Please excuse me of all the possible spelling mistakes I've made, they were not intentionally. 

**Remus Lupin.**

_A story by Linda Lupos._

**1966.**

_"That's where all of this starts – with my becoming a werewolf."_

It was a warm summer evening, somewhere in England. It was not totally dark; the late sun shone her orange rays upon some toys in the garden. It were quite unusual toys: a plush dragon, a broom, and more of these things. A woman walked outside. 

"Remus!" she called. "Come inside. It's time to go to bed!" 

"Mom, I can't find my Puffskein. I think he walked into the forest. I need to find him!" replied a five-years old boy. He looked worried. 

"Don't be scared, daddy and I will find him" said the woman. 

"I'm going to look for him" said little Remus and ran into the forest. 

"Remus, wait!" The woman took a few steps forward. "Don't go into the forest! Remus!" The boy was already gone. A man joined the woman in the garden. 

"What's the matter?" he asked. 

"Remus is in the forest, and it's dark."

The man took his wand and without a word he ran into the forest. 

~*~

Remus couldn't see his house anymore, but he didn't really care. He was looking for his Puffskein, a funny furry animal. He got it when his little brother was born, two years ago, and it was Remus´ task to feed it. "Puffskein" he whispered, looking in the shadows under the trees. "Puffskein, where are you?" He started to make a humming sound, the sound his Puffskein always made when it was happy. That usually worked when his pet was missing. Remus´ mother always used to say he had a way with animals. Remus reached a more open spot. The sun had now disappeared and the bright full moon shone her light upon him. He started searching under the bushes, still making the humming sound. He saw a movement in the shadow under a large oak. "There you are, Puffskein" whispered Remus. 

~*~

Eliza Lupin, Remus´ mother, heard a funny humming sound behind her. She turned around and saw the Puffskein. Then she heard Remus scream…

John Lupin, Remus´ father, was searching for his son. He knew how dangerous the forest was, he knew several people had seen a werewolf running around. He hoped, he prayed he wasn't too late, that he was still able to find his son before… A high-pitched scream made his heart stop. Remus. He yelled "Lumos!" and ran to the place where the scream came from. Remus was lying on the ground, and a huge animal was crouched at his feet. A stream of blood flood out of the boy's right leg, and he was screaming. John pointed his wand at the werewolf, and yelled a charm. A blue stream of light erupted from the wand and hit the werewolf's head. The animal let go of Remus and approached John. He kept firing the lighting at the werewolf, and finally the animal decided this prey was too hard to get. It turned around and disappeared. John leapt over to little Remus. He had stopped screaming, and stared at his leg with huge eyes. He looked up at his father. "Dad, I… " He fainted. 

His father magiced some bandages and lifted his son up. Quickly, he started walking back to his house. 

~*~

_The next day._

Remus was lying in his bed, in St Mungo´s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, listening to his mother who was reading a story to him, and scratching his leg. It was itching, but he could not really scratch it because of the bandage that was wrapped around his leg. His parents were both here because the doctor said he wanted to meet them. Remus wanted to know what was going on and he wanted to go home. 

The door of the ward opened. An old man with almost white hair walked in. He used a stick and was holding a bunch of papers. He walked over to Remus´ bed. 

"Mr and Mrs Lupin?" he asked. He had a slight Irish accent. "I'm doctor O´Connor. And you must be Remus." He nodded to the little boy and sat down. 

"So, that must have been a painful experience, wasn't it? Stop scratching" he told Remus. "It doesn't help. Do you know what kind of animal it was, I mean the animal that bit you?" 

Remus glanced at his parents. "No. I was just looking for my Puffskein. And then it bit me!" 

"I see. Remus, the animal that bit you was a werewolf. You have heard about them, haven't you?" 

"Yes… A little. I know they're mean and like to eat little children." 

"Yes, you're right. I guess your parents told you that?"

Remus nodded happily. He wasn't stupid! He knew werewolves were mean and that they used to eat children who are bad and walk into the forest when it's dark! He scratched the bandage again. 

"Can you stretch out your hands?" the doctor suddenly asked. Remus did it. Doctor O´Connor took his hands and looked at them. At the palms of the little boy's hands, short brown hairs were visible, the same colour as the hair on his head. The same on the other side; short light brown hairs. And his middle and index finger had the same size. "Did your fingers hurt, yesterday?" asked the doctor sternly. 

"A little, only for a short while. It felt like somebody was pulling this fingers really hard." Remus moved his index finger. "But now they're okay." He frowned. The doctor suddenly seemed worried. Did he say anything wrong? He looked at his parents for support, something to comfort him. But they looked just as worried. 

The doctor took his hands again. "Remus, what I'm going to say now isn't a joke, so I want you to listen carefully. Like I told you, you were bitten by a werewolf. People who are bitten by such an animal, and survive it, become werewolves themselves. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Remus gave him a slightly puzzled look. 

"Remus, you are a werewolf." Remus still looked puzzled. 

Suddenly, it came through. A werewolf. Those feared animals, known for killing anyone and everything. All his live, his parents had been warning him for werewolves. And now he was one himself. He got scared. 

"Mom, I'm not a werewolf, am I? I'm not a werewolf!" His eyes looked begging at his mother. His eyes, which were now more yellow than two days ago, when they were brown…

His mother trembled and couldn't say a word. She pressed a handkerchief to her mouth. Doctor O´Connor laid a hand on his shoulder. 

"I'm sorry, Remus" he said. Remus shook the hand off. "I'm not a werewolf! I AM NOT A WEREWOLF!" he yelled. 

He was only five years old and too young to understand. But a month later, he understood all to well what it meant to be a werewolf…

~*~

_28 days later._

Remus was playing outside in the garden. He was limping a little, but that would be cured soon, and as soon as it was cured he would only be troubled by it when he was really tired, said the doctor. The famous Puffskein, the one who had caused all this, was gone; Remus didn't want it anymore. The sound of a hammer could be heard from inside the house; Remus´ father was making something in a spare room. He had no idea what it was, and he didn't care either. His father was always doing strange things. One day he even walked into the fire! Remus wanted to follow him, but his mother pulled him back. Silly grown-ups. He scratched his arm, and felt something warm coming down. He looked what it was and saw blood coming from his arm. He had scratched his skin off again. It had happened before, yesterday. His mom would be angry again. He sighed and walked over to the house. His mother was also in the spare room, helping his dad. He pulled her arm. 

"Mom, I'm bleeding again" he said. She kneeled down to examine the arm. 

"Oh Remus," she said. "You know you have to stop scratching!" 

"But I can't help it! It itches! My whole body itches!" 

His mother shook her head, suddenly looking very sad. "Come on" she said. "I´ll give you something to make the bleeding stop." 

After dinner, his parents took him upstairs to the room where his parents had been making something. They had been doing something with the room, but it wasn't much of an improvement: there were bars before the window, the wallpaper was gone and there was a boring carpet on the floor. Remus looked up at his mom and dad. 

"What have you been doing? Why did you make this?" His father kneeled down and said "Remus, would you get over here?" Remus walked over to him.

"You know what we've told you, you are a werewolf." Remus sighed. Not that stupid werewolf-tale again. He had never eaten anyone so far! His father continued.

"Tonight, you'll change into a werewolf. We don't want you to be running around in the forest and hurting people. That's why we made this room, with the bars. You have to stay here tonight, and tomorrow you can come out again. Next month, you'll have to stay here again for one night, and then the next month and the next month. It's only for one night a month, you see?" His father smiled comfortingly and a little uncertain at him. Remus did a few steps forward to examine the room. It was really boring; bars for the window, no wallpaper, just the rough walls, a dull grey carpet and a few blankets in one corner. They were probably some kind of bed. He turned around. 

"Do I really have to stay here?"

His parents nodded. His father said: "But you can come out tomorrow, like I said." He sounded like he thought he was giving Remus the birthday-present of his life. Remus didn't thought so, he thought it was stupid and idiot and all that kind of things. 

"Okay" he said. "Can I go and play now?" 

There were tears in his mother's eyes. Remus really had it with this stuff. Everybody was crying. He scratched his head. If only that irritating itching would stop…

His mother took him in her arms. "Remus, you can't go outside now. You have to stay here." He looked at her arm. He didn't see an arm, he saw a delicious piece of meat. He wanted to eat it. He opened his mouth a little. Unfortunately, his father took him and placed him in the room. He looked at his parents. They looked back at him, and it seemed as if they were staring at each other from a mile distance. His father swallowed. He couldn't do it… He had to do it. 

"I'm sorry, Remus" he said. "It's the only way." Remus couldn't believe his eyes. He saw his father close the door. He heard the key turning around in the lock. He heard a click; his ears were amazingly good. It was probably one of those stupid grown-up jokes. In a few minutes, they would open the door again, he thought. He sat down on the floor, waiting, scratching his body. His hands were covered with hair. Strange. 

He tried to scratch his legs, but his arm suddenly started to tremble, and he couldn't control it. His fingers felt like they were torn apart. His nails grew unnaturally fast. 

He got scared. There was something happening with his head too. It was hurting, it felt like growing a new tooth, but this was happening in his whole head. He tried to get up, to walk to the door, to ask his parents to let him out, to make it stop, what was happening. He couldn't walk. His legs were trembling too. His right leg, the one with the scars, was covered in brown fur. It seemed more like a dog's leg. He started screaming, but he didn't recognise his own voice. The only thing he could hear was a crying wolf. Then, he knew no more… 


	2. Invitation to Hogwarts

****

1971.

__

"It seemed impossible that I would be able to come to Hogwarts."

"You can see it after the next turn, I believe" said Mr Lupin. "I'm not sure. This trip does sure bring back memories." 

Remus and his parents were on the Hogwarts Express. Professor Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, had invited them to talk about Remus´ parents request to let him attend the school. Remus didn't expect much of it. Most of his life he had been downsized and avoided because he was a werewolf. Unless this Dumbledore was extremely weird or a complete moron, he wasn't likely to go to Hogwarts. 

The train took the turn and Hogwarts castle came into sight. Remus gasped. It was beautiful; a real castle with hundreds of towers and a big forest close to it. It was just as he always pictured haunted houses. Or castle Dracula (he had secretly read the book; he wasn't allowed to read it until his fourteenth birthday). He hoped he was able to walk around a little, to see the castle. Maybe it was haunted, and he could see some ghosts! He was fascinated by ghosts and vampires and all that kind of stuff. His brother was going the same way. His mother didn't like that at all!

The train stopped at a small station. A sign said: "Hogsmeade Station". They got out and started walking in the direction of Hogwarts (a friendly old man had pointed it out for them). Remus couldn't get his eyes of the distant silhouette of Hogwarts castle. He almost didn't dare to, but he hoped Dumbledore was a fool. Imagine living seven years in a castle like that… 

As he got closer, he could take a better look on it. It was quiet on the grounds, because the summer holiday had started only yesterday. The only people left were the teachers. As they walked up a hill, they could see a large lake, and the castle on the other side. The castle reflected itself in the water, it seemed as there were two castles. Finally, they reached the castle itself. As they were standing in front of a large wooden door, Remus couldn't believe he was really there. This must be some kind of weird dream. A really vivid dream, with dream-wind in his hair. 

His father was looking for a doorbell, but there didn't seem to be one there. 

"Maybe we have to knock" suggested Mrs Lupin. Right after she said that, the door opened. They saw a woman with black hair, drawn back in a tight bun, and with square glasses. "The Lupin family?" she asked. "Professor Dumbledore is waiting for you. If you would follow me, please." 

For Remus, it was like one of his wildest dreams had come true. When he walked in, he saw a grand marble staircase. He could almost see Dracula walking down from it. 

Two giant doors led to an unknown room, according to the size of the doors a giant hall. They followed the woman (who had introduced herself as Professor McGonagall) up to another floor. They walked through corridors and up and down stairways. Remus had lost all his sense of direction. But he was too occupied with the armours, paintings and old corridors to care. At long last, they stopped in front of a weird statue. McGonagall said something which sounded like "bananabombs" and suddenly a door and another staircase appeared. 

"Watch the step" said she. As soon as Mr Lupin´s foot touched the staircase, it began spiralling up. The staircase ended in front of another wooden door. Remus' father knocked, and a voice said "Come in."

It had to be said: professor Dumbledore didn't really look like a moron or a fool. He had little half-moon spectacles, and a long silvery beard. He smiled as he walked from the window to his chair, beckoning them to sit down. 

"Mr and Mrs Lupin, and Remus of course…" he said, nodding to Remus. Remus, who was looking around at the paintings and the bird in a corner, looked up when he heard his name. Now was the moment when he would hear if he…

"There isn't a problem for your son to come to Hogwarts…" Remus held his breath. Could it be true? "…As far as intellect in concerned. But there is of course a more important matter, a problem which cannot be solved so easily." Dumbledore looked like he was going to say something which wasn't easy to say.

Remus breathed again. That was it. He couldn't come. He started looking around again. Now Dumbledore was going to say he was sorry and all that kind of rubbish.

"A normal person would never allow Remus to come at his school. But I'm not considered a normal person, by many people." This was the dream again. He was dreaming he was at Hogwarts, a fantastic castle, and he was dreaming Dumbledore had just said he could come there. Remus didn't want the dream to stop.

"Remus, could you come over here, please?" asked Dumbledore, who walked over to the window where he had been standing when they had entered the room. When he was standing next to Dumbledore, the old man said: "Look over there. Do you see that man and that woman?" It was very hard to miss them, as the man was very big. They were standing near a large tree, which was, strangely enough, moving. And it couldn't be the wind who made it move.

"That is a Whomping Willow. It is a rare kind of tree. Whomping Willows are rather aggressive trees, but there is a way to make it freeze. This willow hides the entrance of a tunnel to a little house, not far away from the village Hogsmeade. You can go there every month, when it's a full moon. Nobody would get hurt, and you can safely attend Hogwarts" explained Dumbledore. Remus just stared at the tree. It was just like that room at his house. It was a perfect plan, and he could hardly believe it. 

Was this really happening? 

Dumbledore had walked over to his desk and taken something out of a drawer. 

"Mr Remus Lupin" he said. "I am very pleased to give you this personally." He handed Remus an envelope over. It was a envelope made of parchment. Emerald green letters said: 

__

Mr R.J. Lupin.

Professor A. Dumbledore´s office,

Hogwarts castle.

When he looked up he saw Dumbledore smiling at him. He smiled back. 

He could really come to Hogwarts!


	3. Meeting the Marauders

**September 1971.**

_"For the first time ever, I had friends, three great friends."_

The bright red train was steaming. The platform, 9 and ¾, was crowded with Hogwarts students, from nervous little first-years with their parents to tall last-year students talking to their friends. Remus´ father was carrying his trunk, while his mother was giving him all kind of advises. His little brother, Romulus, was just looking admiring at him; Romulus had to wait two more years until he could come to Hogwarts. 

"Now remember, Remus" continued his mother, "to send an owl the moment you get there. We just want to know if everything is all right. And if you ever get homesick, you can just send us a letter and tell us. Don't be ashamed." 

"Yeah, yeah, I will, mom" (Like he was really going to…)

His father had dragged his trunk to a wagon somewhere at the end of the train. He helped Remus get it in. 

"Well…." he said, looking at his parents. Suddenly, he found himself in a tight hug. "Please take good care of yourself" whispered his mother in his ear. She had tears in her eyes, and his father wasn't looking to comfortable either. A whistle blew. 

"The train is leaving. You must get on!" said Romulus. 

"Okay then. Er… see you at Christmas, I guess." Remus swallowed. Christmas suddenly seemed ages and ages away. He got on the train and walked to a window. The train started moving. He waved at his family until he couldn't see them anymore. Then he started looking for a compartment to sit in.

~*~

All the compartments were loaded with students, except for the last one. There were only two people in it, two boys, and an owl. The owl was zooming around the compartment, just below the ceiling, and the boys were jumping around, trying to get it. One of the boys was tall, with untidy black hair. The other one was smaller. The tall boy jumped on one of the benches. He seized one of the owl's paws, and the bird, not capable of holding his weight, fell down. The boy stuffed the owl in a cage. 

"See, you got your bird again" he said to the other boy. "I told you I could get it!"

"My owl! You hurt him! How could you!" yelled the other boy. Then he saw Remus standing in the opening of the door. "Hi, who are you?" he asked.

"I'm er… Remus Lupin. Are you first-years too?"

"Yup. My name is Sirius Black, and that maniac who hurt my owl calls himself James Potter." He looked furiously at the tall boy, but Remus could see he wasn't really angry. 

"What's your owl's name?" he asked. 

"My owl's name? His name is Severus." 

"And that's a stupid name" added James. 

"No, it's not! Severus was a Roman emperor! That's not stupid! That's cool!"

"Why don't you sit down with us?" suggested James. He didn't want to have an argument with Sirius. 

"Er… okay." They dragged Remus´ trunk in the compartment and sat down. Sirius was occupied with his owl. He tried to comfort it by giving it owl-treats. James and Remus started chatting about Quidditch. After a few hours, a witch with a trolley came walking by. They bought a lot of sweets and started eating them, enjoying all the weird flavours of the Bertie Bott´s All-Flavoured Beans, a new type of candy. When they were halfway through the pile of sweets, another boy appeared in the opening of the door. He was slightly smaller than James, skinny, and he had greasy hair. He looked disapprovingly at the pile of sweets and sweet-wrappers which was lying on a seat. "Did you have to make such a mess?" he asked.

"And who are you? Our mother?" asked James coldly. 

"My name is Severus Snape" the boy replied just as cold. The eyes of James, Sirius and Remus quickly shot from the boy to the owl, who was now sleeping in its cage.

"Did you say Severus?" asked Sirius carefully.

"Are you deaf? Yes, I did say Severus. Severus was a Roman emperor. But I expect you don't know that. I'm going now, I don't want to stay in your company for a long time." The boy left. The tree boys looked at each other.

"Do you know a good name for an owl?" asked Sirius. 


	4. The Discovery

Yay, I got reviews! Thanks a lot, guys! And keep reviewing! 

As you requested, here's the next chapter…

**1972.**

_"My three friends could hardly fail to notice that I disappeared once a month."_

"No, I can't come, you know that, I've told you thousand times before! Will you just leave me alone!" Remus pulled his bag out of James' hands.

"Why not? This match is death important! If we win this, we might have a change to win the cup! You have to come!" yelled James back. 

"I've told you, I have to go home, because my mother is very ill." 

"Again? You're mother is always ill. You have to come, you bring good fortune."

"Just because I was there when you won your first match? This is only your second, why would it be any different? And let go of my bag. I'm going to the library, to finish my Defence Against the Dark Arts essay." Remus quickly walked away.

"To finish you essay?! You've already got twice as much as Sirius and me!" 

"Bye!!" waved Remus over his shoulder. 

~*~

Sirius was in the common room, rehearsing potions with Peter. Sirius could already dream all the ingredients, but Peter just couldn't remember the right sequence. 

Peter Pettigrew was number four of their group of friends. He was a slightly fat boy with hair with a very strange colour. The best way to describe it would just be colourless. 

"No, Peter, I've told you so many times. First the nettle leaves and then the stamped beetle eyes. First nettle, then beetle!" Sirius was about to loose his temper. 

James threw himself in a chair. 

"Still rehearsing potions?" he asked. 

"Yes. I can't believe that ugly, slimy Snape is better at potions than we are! 

Where is Remus?" asked Sirius. 

"Where do you think? In the library of course. Finishing his Defence Against the Dark Arts essay, or so he says." 

"And is he coming tomorrow?" Sirius wanted to know. 

"Nope. He says his mother is ill. Yes, again. Just like last month and the month before that _and_ the month before that. I don't know what's wrong with him." 

"Maybe his mother is really ill" said Peter softly.

"Do you think so? But what is wrong with her then? Remus never says anything about it. He doesn't have to give a full medical report on it, but just a little information… I mean, we're his best friends!" said James. He was tapping with his fingers on the table, looking puzzled.

"Oh c'mon James, this isn't some kind of chess-problem!" said Sirius. "I'm sure there's a normal and logic explanation for all this. Maybe he thinks Quidditch is boring. Could be!" he said, laughing at the of-all-your-theories-this-is-the-most-stupid-look on James' face. "Not everyone is as much in love with Quidditch as you are!"

~*~

_The next morning._

Sirius walked tip-toe into the dormitory, holding a huge book. It was very early, only a few people were awake. James was sleeping in a very odd position. His blanket was wrapped around him, and he was laying on the edge of his bed. Just a few inches to the right and he would fall out. An evil grin appeared on Sirius´ face. He walked over to James, still tip-toe, bowed his head near James´ ear, and whispered: "boo." 

James´ eyes opened in a flash and he fell out of bed. Quickly, he stretched out his leg and tackled Sirius. Sirius hit the ground with a thump. 

"Ouch, how did you do that?!"

"Quidditch-reflexes. You should have known, Sirius." James scrambled on his feet. 

"Thanks for waking me up though." 

"This was the first and the last time, Potter" Sirius groaned. "I should never have done this." He pulled a sad face. 

"What are you doing here anyway, except waking me up?" asked James, taking a new pair of socks from his trunk. 

"I believe I've found the answer to your chess-problem." Sirius showed James the book, eager to share his discovery.

"Not now, after the Quidditch match, okay? I don't think I can concentrate on chess-problems right now" smiled James. 

~*~

_A few hours later, after the Quidditch match._

"That match was fantastic! Ravenclaw absolutely didn't stand a change! I think we win the cup this year!" All the Griffindors were enthusiastically reviewing the match. 

Griffindor beated Ravenclaw with 200-10. Unless Ravenclaw defeated Slytherin the next match, they were out of the running for the Quidditch cup. 

After a few hours, Sirius dragged James and Peter to the dormitory. 

"Remus still not back?" James asked. 

"No, and I think I know why. Look." Sirius gave him a sheet of paper. "These are the dates when Remus was gone. You see, today, last month, the month before that. Now," he took another paper, "this is a lunar chart. Compare the dates." James and Peter bowed over the sheets of paper. 

"He's always gone with a full moon" pointed Peter. 

"Exactly" said Sirius. "And look at this." He showed the book. It was opened on a page about werewolves. "Werewolves only change when it's a full moon."

"Are you saying Remus' mother is a werewolf?" asked Peter. 

"No of course not, stupid. I think Remus is a werewolf." 

A death silence followed this words. "You're crazy" said James finally. "You are absolutely out of your mind!"

"Don't you see it?! It fits! Look, today's a full moon. A month ago, just when we had to do that Charms test, and when he wasn't there, it was a full moon. And look at this." Sirius quickly turned over the pages of the book. "See, werewolves have hair on their hands. Remus has that too, remember? And do you remember yesterday morning, when he was eating almost nothing but meat? That fits in with this part, look." And he pointed to another passage. 

James carefully read everything Sirius pointed at. Finally, he sighed and said: "maybe you're right. I think there's only one way to find out. We have to ask Remus straight to the point if he's a werewolf or not." 

~*~ 

_A few days later._

"Are you going to ask it?" whispered Sirius in James' ear, as Remus walked into the Great Hall. He looked tired and ill. 

"Why me? Why don't you ask it?" whispered James back. 

"Maybe he doesn't want to talk about it" replied Sirius. 

"And that's why I have to ask it? Some reason…" muttered James. 

When Remus sat down next to them and took a slice of bread, James took a deep breath and said: "Remus, we need to ask you something. Can we take a walk to the Quidditch-pitch, this afternoon?" 

Remus looked up. "Sure, why not?" 

~*~

_That afternoon…_

James had a strange feeling in his stomach. It felt like he was about to have a Quidditch match, only ten times worse. What if Sirius was wrong? And what if he was right? If Remus really was a werewolf…

Sirius was also strangely quiet. The only ones who behaved normal were Remus and Peter. They were talking about potions; Remus wasn't good at that either.

When they had reached the Quidditch pitch, Remus turned around to James. "There was something you wanted to ask me?" he asked. 

James´ heart was pounding. It was now or never. 

"Well, you know, you were gone Saturday, and it was a full moon then. And last month, you were also gone with the full moon. And now we –er – have this crazy idea that you are a –er – werewolf." He glanced at Remus. How would he react?

Remus´ heart stopped. This was it. If he told them the truth, he would certainly loose his friends. They would get scared. He had kept it a secret for almost a year and a half. Nobody knew it, except Dumbledore and a few other people. He swallowed heavily. The truth, Dumbledore had told him, was always the best thing to tell. But it was so hard! Then he thought: if they're real friends, they will accept me just as I am. I'm not denying anything. He proudly raised his head. 

"Yes, you are right" he said. "I am a werewolf. I was bitten when I was five."

James breathed again. He hadn't realised he had held his breath. Sirius whistled softly. 

"When you were five?" he said. "And Dumbledore accepted you here?" 

"I have a place to hide when it's full moon. That's were I go every time I leave, like on Saturday. I can show you, if…. you're still my friends." He couldn't look at them. What would they say? 

James, Sirius and Peter didn't need to discuss the matter.

"Of course we are!" they said together.


	5. Animagi

**1975.**

_"They did something for me that would make my transformation not only bearable, but the best time of my life. They became Animagi."_

"Sorry to say it, Remus, but your brother is really irritating." 

"I know. He's always been like that" replied Remus.

"Shhhhh, be quiet!" whispered James. "Or do you want to get caught?" 

They were walking under James´ Invisibility Cloak, on their way to an empty classroom. Peter was carrying a heavy old book, which read "From Human to Animal and Back Again, A Guide To Transfiguration" on the cover. After Remus had told them he was a werewolf, they had read everything about werewolves they could find. That's how they found out werewolves are only aggressive to humans. James and Sirius had got the idea to become animagi, people who can turn into animals. 

That was three years ago, and now they were finally ready to try it. They had drawn straws to see who had to try it first, and James was the lucky one. He had decided to change into a stag, Sirius wanted to change into a dog, and Peter would be a rat. Jams and Sirius could keep Remus in check while he was a werewolf, and a rat was always useful to creep into small holes. And a rat was almost the most easy animal to change in. 

"Were was that class room again?" whispered Remus to James. 

"Near the kitchen. Wait, if we take this turn…" He stopped death. They all heard footsteps. Who was walking here at this time of the night, except four people under an invisibility cloak? 

"What the…" whispered Sirius. He stepped back.

"Shhhhhhhhh, stand still!" whispered James back. A tall man with a long silver beard and a steaming cup in his hand came walking through the corridor. It was Dumbledore, obviously coming from the kitchen. Apparently he had a cup of hot chocolate-milk in his hand. He walked past them without noticing them, although he nearly touched Peter. 

"Narrow escape" sighed Sirius. "You don't think he can see through invisibility cloaks, do you?"

"Maybe, maybe not. If you just want to take you big feet from my toes, you're squishing them" said Remus dryly. Sirius quickly stepped forward. 

"Look guys, here's the class room. Come in" waved James. 

~*~

"Well, let's see" said James, turning the pages of the book, while the others were dragging the tables and chairs out of the way. "Changing into an animal. Hey, it's said here that a skilled animagi can do it without a wand. Just out of his own free will, without even saying a charm or something like that."

"Without a wand?" said Sirius, walking over to him. "Let's not try that now, shall we?" 

He walked back to the chairs. "Okay, James. We'll sit here and watch. Let's hope for the best. And we have a mirror, so you can see the result. Ready? Let's do it."

He, Remus and Peter sat down on a chair, while James nervously took the book again. He swallowed. Then he concentrated on a stag, took his wand, pointed it to himself and said: "_Animagi_". He felt a strange feeling on top of his head. It wasn't hurting, it was a funny tickling feeling. The others were watching him in amazement. Suddenly, the feeling stopped. James looked down. He still had hands and feet and everything, so apparently it didn't work. 

"Too bad, it didn't work" he said. 

"You don't mean…It's over?" said Sirius. "I mean, you don't feel something? You're not changing anymore? This is it?" His voice broke with a strange giggle. Remus crammed his hands before his mouth, as to prevent himself from bursting into hysteric laughter. Peter bit his lower lip. 

Suddenly, they couldn't hold themselves anymore and they roared with laughter. When James asked them what was so funny, Sirius just pointed laughing at the mirror. When James had picked it up, he thought his heart would stop. Two beautiful stakes rose from between his hair. He had antlers! 

He stared disbelievingly at his head. How was he going to remove them? What was he going to say to Madame Pomfrey? She believed a lot, but this? 

Remus, Sirius and Peter finally stopped laughing, although they sometimes gave a weird giggle. They consulted about how they were going to remove James' unwelcome 'decoration'. After a quarrel, they decided to try 'Finite Incantatem'. Luckily for James, it did work, although he still felt little bumps on his head 'til autumn… 


	6. The Prank

Yay, more reviews! Please, keep reviewing, KEEP REVIEWING!! Reviews are my life! (euh…)

Anyway, next chapter…

**1976.**

_"Sirius played a trick on Snape which nearly killed him, a trick which involved me…"_

"Have we ever tried to get to Honeydukes?" whispered Sirius, not paying attention to professor Sprout, who was telling them about some weird herb. 

"Yes, a thousand times before. You know, when we found that hidden passage behind the statue of the one-eyed witch?" whispered James back. 

"We could go north-east, in the Forbidden Forest" suggested Remus. "We've never been there before." 

"I've heard there are werewolves in the Forbidden Forest" whispered Peter a little too loud; professor Sprout gave them a warning look. "What if they get us?"

"Yeah, what if we get caught by a werewolf, right, Remus?" said Sirius. Remus looked back in anger. 

"That's not funny!" he whispered. "Peter, there aren't any werewolves. The only werewolf in the Forbidden Forest is – well, you know." 

The boy before them turned around and hissed: "Quiet! It might seem unbelievable to you, but some people are actually trying to learn something." It was Severus Snape. To James', Sirius', Remus' and Peter's great despair and irritation, the Griffindors had Herbology together with the Slytherins. 

"Shut up yourself!" hissed James back. "What do you think we're doing, planning a tour in the Forbidden Forest? Look at these notes!" He pointed at a parchment full of carefully written notes. 

"Oh really?" said Snape. He turned around to them and ´accidentally´ hit Sirius' inkbottle with his elbow. Blue ink spread quickly over the parchment, making not only Sirius' notes unreadable, but also the others'. Sirius jumped up. 

"You did that intentionally! You dirty –" Professor Sprout stamped over to them. 

"That's it! You're quiet or you're leaving! What is going on here?!" she demanded to know. Sirius and Snape stood almost nose to nose, looking with extreme hate to each other. James was also standing, ready to help Sirius if there was going to be a fight, just like Peter (only Peter was ready to run if they were going to fight). 

"Well?" said professor Sprout. "I'm waiting!" 

"Professor, he intentionally hit my inkbottle with his elbow, to make the ink flow over my notes" Sirius managed to say.

"You just shouldn't place your inkbottle there. No wonder it fell. I can't help it, professor, it was just an accident" said Snape. Professor Sprout seemed to believe him. Remus got up too.

"Excuse me, professor, but that is not true. We all saw how Snape hit that bottle, and it was standing right here" he pointed. "It couldn't have been an accident." 

"Is that true?" professor Sprout asked Sirius sternly. Sirius nodded, still looking furiously at Snape. 

"Well then. I´ll take ten points from Slytherin, and Snape, give your notes to Black" said professor Sprout. Snape opened his mouth to protest, but she interrupted him. "I´ll have no protest from you, Mr Snape. You are going to sit right there." She pointed to a place on the other side of the classroom. Deeply humiliated, Snape threw his notes on Sirius' table, took his books and stamped to his new place. Sirius looked disdainfully at the notes, with an expression which said: do I have to use them? Professor Sprout, seeing the look in his eyes, said: "And you're going to use them, or I will take points from Griffindor too." She walked back to her desk, leaving James, Sirius, Remus and Peter with Snape's notes. Sirius crumpled the ink-flooded parchment with his notes. "You know what" he whispered. "Snape is going to pay for this. He has been bothering us long enough now."

~*~

_A few days later._

James was playing chess with one of his friends when Sirius came walking into the common room, a grin on his face. His whole expression told James that he was up to no good at all. He came sitting next to James and whispered: "I've got something to tell you." 

"Wait a minute, I've almost got this game finished."

He quickly and easily beated his opponent, and then he asked Sirius: "How come you never want to play with me anymore?"

"Do you have any idea how irritating it is to get beaten every time you play chess with someone?" replied his friend. "They should stick a warning on your forehead: don't play chess with me unless you want to lose. Hey, I need to tell you something, something funny."

"What is it?"

"You know Snape´s always hovering around us, trying to hear what we're up to, and probably where Remus goes to every month."

"How can I not know? It's like we've got a stupid, greasy, unwashed shadow. Is that the funny thing you wanted to tell?"

"I'm not finished! Well, I've met Snape in the library, where I was looking something for potions, and he was stalking me again, and then I asked him if he wanted to see something interesting…" 

"And then you attacked him and the funny thing is that he's in the hospital wing for at least two months" added James.

"I did thought about that, but no. He was interested, so I took him outside the castle, to the Whomping Willow. You know what the Willow hides. And when we were there I told him all he had to do was touch the knob on the tree with a stick, which was lying there, and then he could go through a tunnel to Hogsmeade." Sirius looked at James like he was telling a fantastic joke. 

"So?" replied James, not seeing the fun of the whole story.

"So if everything goes right, we will never be bothered by Snape" said Sirius, looking extremely content with himself. "He'll probably be so scared he'll never dare come close to us again."

"Why would he be scared…" began James, and then it came through. He jumped to his feet, turning the table with the chess set over. "Sirius, are you a complete idiot or do you only pretend to be one?!" he yelled. People in the common room turned around to see what was happening. James paid no attention to them. 

"What if he really reaches the house?! We could get expelled if they discover it!" He started making his way to the portrait hole. 

"What are you going to do?" Sirius called after him. 

"See if I can make things right" James replied angrily. He pushed the portrait open. Unfortunately, two girls were standing on the other side. The Fat Lady swung against them, throwing the pile of books they were carrying on the ground. James caught a flash of red hair and green eyes as he quickly scrambled the books together, threw them on a pile and ran off again. "Sorry!" he called over his shoulder. 

"Did you see that?" whispered the other girl in the red-haired girl's ear. "That was James."

"I know that" replied Lily Evans, "How could I miss him? He practically ran into me."

~*~

James ran as fast as he has never ran in his life, cursing Sirius. He had visions of a large wolf with blood on its snout and Snape in little pieces, and Dumbledore telling them they were never welcome at Hogwarts anymore, and his parents telling him the only school he could go to now was Durmstrang. He turned around a corner and almost ran into Professor McGonagall. 

"Potter!" she called after him, "what do you think you are doing?"

A curse over this whole evening, James thought. It started so good. They had said goodbye to Remus, and had planned to go deeper into the Forbidden Forest than usual. If only Sirius hadn't got that ridiculous idea… 

He reached the entrance hall and ran down the steps. It had just rained, and he almost slipped. Still cursing, he reached the Whomping Willow, who was moving as usual. A long stick was lying in the grass. James picked it up and prod the knob on the tree. It stopped moving at once. He crouched down on all fours, like a dog, and crawled to the opening between the roots of the tree Remus had pointed out. He slid down and ran through the tunnel, his heart pounding, hoping he wasn't too late. 

He saw a distant light. Snape had obviously lightened his wand. He sprinted the last few meters and grabbed Snape´s shoulder. Snape turned sharply around. 

"Potter!" he snarled. "What are you doing here?"

"I've – come – to – warn you" James panted. "You mustn't go further."

"And why not? Who are you to tell me that?" Snape shook James' hand off his shoulder. "You are afraid I´ll tell Dumbledore about this tunnel to Hogsmeade, aren't you? What a suprise that will be for that old man. The famous James Potter, who turns out to be disobedient to rules. I will certainly enjoy seeing you getting expelled" Snape continued. "And Black too of course. The smartest students of the school, what a pity that will be."

"Snape, listen" said James. "This tunnel doesn't end in Hogsmeade, it ends in the Shrieking Shack. It's dangerous." 

"Do you really believe that ghost-story, Potter? Why don't you go back and tell your bedtime-stories to someone who really believes them, Pettigrew for example. Better do it quick, because I doubt you will have time to do so when I come back. And let go of me!" Snape snapped at James. He walked on, with James on his heels. 

"Quit following me, Potter!" Snape said. "Ah, finally, a door. Now let's see where this tunnel ends. Oh, I´d love to see Dumbledore´s face when I tell him…" He stopped death. There was someone throwing things around and make a terrible noise on the other side of the door. "Who's that? Or better; _what_ is that?"

"Ghosts" lied James. Snape gave him a disdainful look. 

"Honestly, Potter, I don't see why they made you Prefect." 

"Okay then, if you keep whining like this" said James angrily. "Keep on walking and see for yourself!" Snape didn't hesitate and stepped forward. He pushed the door open a little, and peeked through the opening. There was nothing. 

"See, Potter? Really haunted, this house. Oh, I'm so scared" said Snape sarcastically. He opened the door a little more. "See? Absolutely nothi-"

Something large jumped against the door. James jumped back in a reflex, pulling Snape with him. A large brown wolf tried to attack them, but James slammed the door shut. 

"That wasn't a ghost!" said Snape, paler than ever. 

"Er – no" answered James, who discovered that your heart can pound so hard it feels like it's going to collapse. 

"Then what was it?"

"It was… Well, uh…" stuttered James. "It's a… a werewolf." He wasn't lying, it was indeed a werewolf. 

"A werewolf" thought Snape aloud. "Who could it be?" He stared at James, lost in thoughts. "Who could be the werewolf here? Who goes here every month… every month… Lupin." He looked at James, his mouth a menacing smile. "It's Lupin, isn't it? Of course, why didn't I notice it before? Interesting, a werewolf on our school. If Dumbledore hears of this…" 

"He knows" interrupted James. He was feeling miserable. In a few days the whole school would probably know about Remus. "Dumbledore was the one who suggested this tunnel to Remus. He was the one who ordered to build the Shrieking Shack." 

Snape stared at him. "He knows? He's crazier than I thought."

"C´mon, let's get back to the castle" said James. He started heading back through the tunnel, not waiting for Snape to follow him. 

When they got out of the tree, James and Snape saw Professor McGonagall, who said: "I suggest you two come with me to Professor Dumbledore…"


	7. Rumania

A/n: the quote at the beginning of this chapter is of course from "Dracula" by Bram Stoker. The book is great, the movie too, and rumours are that Gary Oldman, who played an excellent Dracula, is going to play Sirius in the Harry Potter-movies! Yay! 

This chapter is dedicated to both my brothers, who were – and still are – a great inspiration for the character of Romulus. I can easily imagine the two of them standing on the tower of castle Bran, telling gruesome stories about Vlad the Impaler…

And of course me cheerfully adding details… 

**Summer of 1977.**

_"I am Dracula; and I bid you welcome, Mr Harker, to my house."_

"Romulus, get your head back in the carriage. We don't want you to fall out!" Romulus withdraw his head after his mother's request. 

"Are we almost there yet?" he asked. 

"Why don't you ask the driver?" his father suggested. Romulus pulled a face. 

"How can I ask the driver if I may not put my head out of the window?" he said innocently. His brother Remus grinned. 

"Keep your eyes open. We should be there any minute. Look!" He pointed out of the window, to the distant silhouette of castle Bran. 

The Lupin family was on holiday in Rumania, on endless request of Remus and Romulus. They reasoned that they didn't want to go to their aunt in Kinlochleven (Scotland) again, that they did their best at school, that it would teach them more about vampires (like they weren't walking encyclopaedias on that subject), that Remus was sad because he was a werewolf, that Rumania had such an interesting history, etcetera, etcetera. Finally, their parents gave way, and they travelled to Rumania. And now they were about to visit castle Bran, one of Vlad Dracula´s castles. A Rumanian wizard was taking them there in his old carriage. He was also going to show them the castle, at least, that's what they'd made of his words; he spoke with a rather strong accent. 

The carriage approached the castle and they could get a better look of it. You could see it wasn't occupied anymore, but it was still impressive, as it dominated one side of a high hill. It was made of red and white stone and had high towers. 

"Not quite Hogwarts" was Romulus' conclusion, "but still fantastic." 

The carriage rattled through the gate and stopped on the courtyard. 

Remus jumped out, with Romulus on his heels. "Wow," he said, "this is so cool, we're really there." 

"Look," pointed Romulus, "a tower. What'd think the view is like from up there?" 

"There's only one way to find out. We're going up to the tower!" 

The two boys ran away and disappeared out of sight. 

"Can you climb all the way up that tower?" Mr Lupin asked the old Rumanian wizard. 

"Yes" he replied in his weird accent. "Is the highest tower of castle. You have a nice view over the valley there. It is said wife of Dracula jumped off the tower and killed herself."

"Do we really need to go up?" asked Mrs Lupin. "You know I don't like heights."

"I'm afraid so. At least to prevent those two from leaning to far over and fall off."

Mrs Lupin shivered. 

~*~

Remus leaned over and looked down to the river which was flowing far under him. 

"It makes being here even more fantastic when you realise that, a few hundred years ago, Vlad Dracula himself must have been standing here, perhaps even looking in the same direction as we are," said Romulus, his eyes shining. 

"Check this out" said Remus, "look how high we are. There's the road we've been riding on." He pointed. 

"How high do you reckon we are?" asked Romulus, leaning so far over that his head was almost upside down. 

"To high to do that," said Mr Lupin, who had just appeared. He pulled his youngest son back. "Please enjoy the view in a normal way, with your head the right way up."

Remus looked over his shoulder to his mother, who was still standing near the stairs, apparently eager to go down again. 

"Oh c´mon, mom," he said, "you really should take a look, it's wonderful." 

"No, thank you," she replied, "I'm the happiest on the ground." 

"Tell that to James. You don't want to see him fly in a Quidditch match!" 

"Sirius can be happy he can still see him fly for Griffindor," said Mr Lupin dryly. 

Remus bit his lip. It was true. Professor Dumbledore couldn't really laugh at Sirius' 'joke'. Quite the contrary, in fact. After James and Snape had come out of the Willow, professor McGonagall had taken them to Dumbledore, and there Snape had told them everything. Of course, Sirius had been more than just told-off. McGonagall had told him that she regretted she couldn't take points off Griffindor, because other students would surely find out why so many points were taken from their house. But, she said, she could at least give him detention, and that was what she did. He wasn't allowed in Hogsmeade for the rest of the schoolyear, he had had to help Filch re-organise his office, and, the worst part of all, in Sirius' opinion, he had had to apologise to Snape. Snape had eventually accepted it, but to say that he simply wasn't on good terms with Sirius is an understatement. 

And that was also the case with their parents. The storm over Sirius' head came from four sides. Of course, there was Dumbledore, who didn't look like a funny, kind old grandfather at all (not to mention McGonagall…). Snape´s parents were furious too, but not half as furious as Sirius' own parents. And their anger was matched by what Remus' parents felt. They knew Remus had told his friends that he was a werewolf, but, as Mrs Lupin stated, they'd never thought one of them would be so "enormously stupid". Some people would call it overreacting, but Remus knew that, though he didn't kill anyone, it probably would never be like it was before. Though they pretended not to do so, Remus could feel the Black's and the Potters' conduct towards him had changed since they'd heard he was a werewolf. From a certain point of view, Sirius did destroy something. 

Remus' thoughts were interrupted by his father, who said they were going down again. He followed his parents and his brother down the stairs and through the castle, listening to the old Rumanian wizard who was telling them about Vlad Dracula, who lived in the 15th century. 

"Some say he was a dictator, and very cruel. But others think Dracula was a hero, because he won many battles for Rumania," he told them. "Dracula is nicknamed Vlad Tepes, or Vlad the Impaler, because he used to impale his enemies on high stakes." 

"Talking about nice hobbies," said Mrs Lupin. She turned to her sons. "I guess you're enjoying yourself?" 

"O, very much, mom," said Romulus. "Really entertaining. I read a story once," he said to the old Rumanian wizard, "about some guy who said to Dracula that he didn't like the smell of all those rotting corpses on the stakes, and then Dracula impaled him on a stake which was a bit higher than the others, so he wouldn't be bothered by the stench." Apparently, Romulus enjoyed every word of his story. 

"Thank you, Romulus, we didn't need thát kind of stories," his father said. 

"But actually, Dracula was wrong about that," Romulus cheerfully continued. "Right, Remus? Did you see Dracula's mistake?" 

"Certainly," said Remus, pretending he didn't see the "here-we-go-again"-look on his parents' face. "That guy should have been impaled on a lower stake, because the stench would go up. If he was impaled on a higher stake, he would have been bothered more." 

"Thank you very much," his mother interrupted him, as she was talking to the Rumanian wizard, "for showing us the castle. Could you take us back please?"

"Certainly, madam," he said. "This way please." Remus and Romulus exchanged evil grins as they followed him to the carriage. 


	8. Lily Evans

****

Wednesday September 1, 1977.

__

"For the first time ever, I had friends – three great friends.."

James Potter was standing on the crowded platform 9 ¾, waiting for the Hogwarts Express to leave. He was standing on his toes, looking for that one person…

"Hi James!", a voice suddenly said in his ear. It was Sirius Black, his best friend.

"O hi, Sirius" he replied, still looking around him. The train was leaving any minute now.

"Yes, I had a great holiday, thanks for asking, I'm doing great. France was beautiful, how nice you're interested in that. James, what are you doing??" Sirius wanted to know.

"I? I'm doing nothing, honest!"

"No, sure. But you're not telling me you're turning red because Remus and Peter are coming this way! C´mon, let's get on the train or it's leaving without us. You must give a good example, you're a Headboy now!"

"Yeah, yeah, coming Sirius!" After one last look James Potter got on the train, still searching for that girl with red hair and green eyes he started to like last year…

Sirius, Remus and Peter already found some places. James took place near a window, next to Sirius, who was talking with Remus about his holiday in France. Remus said he went to Rumania with his parents and his brother. "It was really great. Rumania is fantastic, with high mountains and a really old vampire tradition. The wizards there really believe in vampires, or at least they pretend they do!"

Peter Pettigrew, a shy and little boy, was staring out of the window. He had nothing to tell, because he always stayed at home during holidays. His father died long ago and his mother was poor, they had no money to go somewhere. James felt sorry for him, and always avoided to talk about money or things like that when Peter was near.

"To bad they're not so good at recognising werewolves, Lupin. That would have rid us from you forever!" a cold voice said. It was Severus Snape, a boy in their year, luckily not from their house. He was sorted in Slitherin. Snape was almost at war with them because some stupid trick Sirius wanted to play on him. On that occasion, Snape discovered Remus was a werewolf, and although he had promised professor Dumbledore, Hogwarts headmaster, he wouldn't tell anybody, he couldn't resist mentioning it when there was nobody else around.

"Too bad you weren't in Rumania. The people there would recognise a dirty, slimy rat like you as a vampire in no time!" James said angrily. "Shut up, Potter! Keep on going like this and you will end up in a lot of trouble I'm afraid. The great Headboy Potter, who excels at Quidditch!"

"Snape, shut up or be gone. Your choice." James was getting really angry now. Stupid Snape! Always telling how much he hated James Potter. Okay, he was smart, and okay, he was good at Quidditch (James was chaser in Gryffindors team) but was that a reason to hate him?

Snape turned around and finally left. James sat down again and looked at Remus Lupin, his other best friend. Remus had been bitten by a werewolf long ago. As a result of that, he was a werewolf too. People avoided him because they were afraid of him, and he was actually not accepted to Hogwarts. But Dumbledore allowed him to come, taking a few precautions. Remus had told James and Sirius they were the first friends he ever had. They had even learned, together with Peter, how to become Animagi, so they could change into animals. Now they haunted the Hogwarts grounds every month and had lots of fun. But it was still a very hard issue for Remus and he had still not accepted it fully.

"Hey, I hate to admit it, but Snape´s right. What if you changed into a werewolf somewhere in Rumania?" Sirius wanted to know. "Oh, that's easy. We just waited ´till after the full moon, then we left for three weeks and returned about 2 days before the next full moon", Remus said.

"Oh, c´mon Remus. Just one year and we'll never have to see that Snape again. He's truly the last person from school I ever want to meet again!" Sirius said. "Seeing him on school is worse enough".

The train was slowing down. Everybody got up and changed into their black Hogwarts-robes. "Nice badge, James! Pity I'm not a Headboy. It would make my mom really happy. But I think that's not gonna happen.." Peter said in a soft voice. "It would make her so happy to see I finally reached something." "Oh, who knows, maybe you'll get the Order of Merlin someday!" Sirius joked. As Peter turned away to get his trunk, James pulled Sirius´ arm. "Sirius, that's not funny", he said softly. "You know Peter isn't very good at school. Stop teasing him, okay?"

"Hm, oh well, if you say so…"

The train stopped and they got their trunks out. They could see Hagrid standing at the other side of the platform. "Is it an illusion or is Hagrid growing every summer-holiday?" Sirius wanted to know. "I think there's something wrong with your eyes. Maybe you need glasses." James replied teasingly. "Sure, I need glasses! I believe the great Headboy Potter has lost his brains. You better give that badge to me!"

"Sure Sirius, in your dreams. You don't think I…"He suddenly stopped talking. There she was! 10 feet away from him, talking to a friend. Far away he heard Sirius and Remus laugh. Sirius waved his hand before his face. "James? James? Are you awake? Hello? It's time to leave! Do you know that girl?" he asked Remus.

"Who?"

"That girl, I believe" Sirius pointed. "That girl with the red hair, right James?"

James nodded vaguely, still staring.

"Well", Remus said, "I believe her name is Lily Evans. She's in Gryffindor too, she smart and Headgirl. That's all I know. Oh, she's from a Muggle-family."

"Right. Well, let's get on or we'll be late. Coming, James?"

James nodded again and started to walk. _Lily Evans…_


	9. Parchmentkiller and other fun

A/n: thank you all for your reviews! Please, please, PLEASE keep reviewing! You make my day!

Ahem, anyway…

D'you know Parchmentkiller is really good fun? All you need is a piece of paper, a pencil and someone to play it with! The possibilities are endless, as long as your imagination holds out…

Oh, don't know what Parchmentkiller is? Read this new chapter to find out…

Quote on top is from Will Shakespeare.

**1977, near Christmas. **

_"And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare,_

_As any she belied with false compare."_

"…But here come my undefeated killing dragons." Sirius quickly drew a group of circles with wings and little heads with fire. "And they burn your castle to the ground." His pencil 'destroyed' Remus' castle. 

"Oh yeah? Well, here comes, uhm, er, professor Dumbledore!" Remus drew a tall man with a long beard and a wand. "Ha! You'll never dare kill Dumbledore!" 

"But here comes my secret weapon: Snape!" Sirius drew a boy with long greasy hair. "And he's using his special attack: ugliness! So Dumbledore runs away, not able to stand the hideous looks of Snape." Sirius could hardly draw for laughing. 

"O no! The terrible Snape! But wait, I use the invisibility cloak I borrowed from James and run away!" Remus said, drawing a figure with a cloak. 

Sirius grabbed his pencil again. "Then I come with my horde of trolls and they start stamping the field, trying to squish you." He drew a few squares. 

"But it's full moon." Remus drew a circle. "And so here I come with my werewolf friends, and they bite your trolls to death, and they bite you too."

"Oh, haha, now I'm a werewolf too, so I can bite you too!" 

"No, you can't because you died of the bite. Sorry, Sirius, can't help it." Remus drew a circle around the figure with the nametag 'Remus' and drew a cross through the figure named 'Sirius'. "I won!" 

"Argh! You won again! But you won't win next time, I promise you that." Sirius turned to James, who was looking at the other side of the crowded common room. 

It was about two days before the Christmas holidays, and they had little homework to do, so they could keep themselves occupied with other things, like killing each other on a piece of parchment. 

"James, wanna join us?" asked Sirius. "C´mon, it's fun!" 

"No, thank you," replied James. 

"He's observing Lily again," whispered Sirius loudly to Remus, who wasn't listening to him and already drawing a new 'Remus' and 'Sirius'. 

"Sirius, are you staying here this Christmas?" James suddenly asked. 

"No, I told you before, James. Open your ears and listen: I. Am. Going. Home. Repeat: I am going home. Got it? Why do you want to know?" 

"Hmmm, no reason." 

"Lily's going home too," Remus suddenly interrupted.

"What? How do you know?" James said, his eyes shining. 

"She just said that. She said she was going home but she didn't really want to because she doesn't like being with her sister. And…" Suddenly, Remus clapped his jaws together, and his whole expression clearly said: oops, I said to much.

"How do you know what she just said?" Sirius asked. "I mean, she's on the other side of the common room, and it's so crowded you can walk over the heads." 

"Oh, I, er, was just making things up. I don't know if she's going home or not." 

"Now I come to think of it; how did you know her name was Lily, and that she was a Headgirl, and that she was muggle-born?" James wanted to know. "You can hear it, can't you? Of course, I've read _Hairy Snout, Human Heart. _You can hear that."

"Yes, I can," sighed Remus. "I can hear exactly what she's saying. It's like tuning a radio; I search for the right sound and then I –" 

James was not interested in how it all worked. "What's she saying now?" he asked eagerly. "She's looking this way, what's she saying?"

"That's eavesdropping! I'm not going to do that," Remus protested. 

"That's not eavesdropping, it's just, er, eavesdropping. C´mon, what's she saying?" 

Remus closed his eyes to listen better. "She says… she's bought a book for her sister. Hm, good choice, books are good presents."

"Hello, we know that," Sirius interrupted. "My collection of books has doubled since I know you. Continue!" 

"Oh, er, she said… oh. Ehm, she said she's tired and she's going to bed soon," Remus said hastily. 

"She did not say that!" said James. "I can tell from your expression. You're hiding something, c´mon, tell it, what did she say?"

"Was it something about James?" asked Sirius, who just got a bright moment. 

"Yeah, was it something about me?"

Remus sighed again. "Yes. She said, uhm, she said… she said you looked cute."

"She said WHAT?!" James and Sirius said together. 

Remus waved a bit embarrassed with his hand. "She said, er, she noticed you were looking at her, and she said that to her friend. And her friend, Emma, said your were looking at her more often that usual, and then Lily said, uhm, she didn't mind because, er, well, you know, you looked cute." Remus looked quite uncomfortable when he told this. 

"Wow," said James. He closed his eyes, and muttered; "I look cute."

"Now, James, don't get overexcited," said Sirius. "It's only a girl." 

"I beg you pardon? It's just a girl? No way," said James offended. 

"But if you look at it rationally…" began Sirius. "Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry, if you look at HER rationally. Her, her, her, not it, her. Well, she's not extremely pretty or something." 

"Really?" James replied coldly.

"No! I mean, her eyes might be beautiful, but her hair is too wild. And she's rather small, especially compared to you. And she's all freckly after two Care For Magical Creature lessons outside," summed Sirius up. 

"That's it?" said James. "I don't see your point. Okay, her hair might be wild, but it has that beautiful red colour. She's not really that small, and I actually like those freckles."

Sirius sighed. "Hopeless." He turned to Remus. "Say something!" 

Remus bowed forwards. "Look, James, have you ever to talked to her?"

"Yeah, but that was two years ago." 

"Well, why don't you get up, walk over to her and say something!"

"You think I should?" asked James uncertainly.

"I'm pretty sure nothing will happen if you just keep sitting here." 

"But what should I say?" 

"I dunno! Wish her a merry Christmas or something. Ask her if she wants to play a game of Parchmentkiller."

"A game of whát?" 

"Parchmentkiller. It's fun. You have a piece of parchment, and a pencil, and then you try to kill each other by drawing things. But that might not be a good idea," said Remus thoughtfully. "Why don't you just go to her and say something like, hi, I'm James, how are you? C´mon, do it." He pushed James of his chair, into the right direction. "That way." 

Sirius and Remus watched as James nervously walked to the other side of the common room, and said something to Lily. She replied something, and he sat down next to her.

"What are they saying?" Sirius wanted to know. 

"I believe that's none of our business," answered Remus. 

"In that case… I've resurrected my once-defeated killing dragons, and they eat you!"

"No way, because I use a disgusting-potion on myself, so they spit me out."

"Oh yeah? Well, here comes my…"


	10. Moving staircases

**Spring of 1977.**

_"I don't think we ever had such a pair of trouble makers…"_

"Okay, the twelve uses for dragon's blood." 

"Er…" hesitated Peter. "Wait, let me think…"

"Oh, c´mon, this is first class stuff!" groaned James. "Sirius, do you have any idea?"    

"No, why should I?" said Sirius lazily, as he lay down on the grass, using his book as a pillow. "It's to hot to learn. Wake me up when dinner's served." He closed his eyes.

"How´re you supposed to get your N.E.W.T.s if you don't learn?" asked Remus. 

"Oh, don't worry. Everybody will be so impressed by my fantastic looks that they will give me the highest score immediately," said Sirius.

James made a sound like he was going to vomit, and Lily and Remus burst into laughter. 

They were outside, sitting in the shadow of one of the big trees on the Hogwarts grounds. It was still a month before the summer holidays, but it was as warm as a day in midsummer. Actually, they had to practice for their exams, but, like Sirius said, it was way to warm. 

"Anyway, it's only Potions and History of Magic, then we're free," said Sirius carelessly. He took the book from under his head. "Why would anyone want to know this boring stuff anyway? Here: medieval witch hunt, werewolf conduct code, goblins, centaurs, and so on, and so on. I'm falling asleep right where I'm lying."

"Sleep on," said Remus. "Hey, I'm going to leave you for a few minutes; I need to post a letter. Sirius, can I use Mercurius?" 

"Sure, why not? He needs a bit of exercise, he's getting a bit fat." Sirius looked up to him. "Who're going to bully with your letter?"  

Remus laughed. "Professor Baggins, the Headmaster of the Wizard University. I want to study the Dark Arts." 

"Wait, wait, I'm coming with you," said Sirius, as he got up. "I need a bit of exercise too." 

"Good, then we can study some more," said Lily. Her face was covered with the predicted freckles. James often tried to count them, but most of the time he got distracted by her green eyes. "Finally, rest and peace."  

~*~

They staunted back to the castle. 

"This is no weather for learning," said Sirius, "this is weather for swimming or something. It feels like summer." 

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day, thou art more lovely and more temperate," sighed Remus. "I heard they predicted rain for tonight. A storm, to be exactly." 

"Ah, excellent. My brains started to melt. Summer days are more lovely than this." 

"Oh, so you actually have brains?" replied Remus teasingly. 

"Hahahaha, really funny."

They walked up the stairs to the Gryffindor tower to get Remus' letter. Then they moved on to the Owlery, where Remus tied his letter to Mercurius' paw. He threw the owl out of the window and followed the bird with his eyes, as it disappeared. 

"How fast d´you reckon your owl is?" he asked Sirius. 

"I dunno. Oxford, is it not? He'll have reached it at least tomorrow, but probably sooner," said his friend. "Hey, look, you can see James from here." He pointed.

"But where's Peter?" 

"Good question, I don't see him anywhere. Maybe James kicked him away." 

"No, not likely. I think he just had to go to the toilet or something." Remus leaned out of the window. "You know what, sometimes I envy James. I mean, he has everything: he's rich, he's smart, he's Headboy, he's got a girl…" 

"He plays Quidditch, he's got some fantastic friends," added Sirius.      

"Especially the fantastic friends." 

"Well, if you see it like that, you can envy yourself too, because you're one of those friends," smiled Sirius. "Now, you've posted your letter, what are we going to do now? Any suggestions?"

"Uhm…" thought Remus. "Library?" 

"I already expected you were going to say that. Okay, but only because it's a little bit cooler inside."

~*~

"You know what, I know a short cut," said Sirius.

"Yeah, I know your short cuts, and they always take longer," replied Remus.

"Who cares about that? Do you have an appointment or something? C´mon, it's this way." He turned a corner, opened a door, and revealed a large marble stairway.

"This way, if you please," he said, with a courteous bow. 

When they were halfway on the stairs, it started trembling, and slowly it detached itself from the door where it ended and started moving towards another door. 

"O crisis," Remus said, bowing over the banisters and looking down. "It turns out to be one of your famous 'short' cuts again. God knows where we'll end."

"Believe me, this is the first time this happens to me," said Sirius. "We'll just have to wait until this thing stops." He also bowed over the rail and waved to some first-years, who were staring with open mouth at them and the moving staircase. 

"O look," pointed Remus. "That head seems familiar." 

"You mean that hair," said Sirius dryly. "Snape looks really small from up here. Hey, you think I´d dare spit down from here?"

"Sirius, you won't. Don't do it," said Remus urgently. Sirius was already bowing over, and hawking up spit. 

"Sirius, stop it, that's not funny," continued Remus, who was half-and-half hoping Sirius was going to do it anyway. 

"Bombs away," muttered Sirius, with his mouth full. He spat.

"Sirius! That's disgusting!" cried Remus. "Where did you aim for? Did you hit it?"

"Snape. But I missed, because that stupid staircase keeps moving," pointed Sirius. "Look, there's Snape." Snape was looking up at them, shaking his fist and moving his lips.

"What'd you think he's saying?" asked Remus.

"Nah, he isn't saying anything. He's imitating a fish, look, like this." Sirius opened and closed his mouth, in a perfect imitation of a fish. 

"Oh, stop it," laughed Remus. "C´mon, the staircase stopped. Let's find the library." 

They walked up the staircase and entered a long and deserted corridor. 

"Uhm… that way?" said Sirius uncertainly. "Too bad we lost the Marauders Map." 

"You left it lying around. If Filch finds out how it works, we'll be dead."

"I'm dead anyway. He won't be happy about me spitting down," said Sirius carelessly. They turned a few corners.    

"Remember when James tried the bucket-on-the-door-trick on Snape?" asked Sirius after a while. 

"Yeah," grinned Remus, "to bad it wasn't Snape who opened that door, but Hagrid."

"He could laugh at it."

"Until he realised a certain person-" Remus' stern look failed because he was laughing "-put red paint in that same bucket."  

"I just thought Snape would look wonderful in red!" laughed Sirius. "But he kind of revenged himself, even though we never hit him." 

"That was so unoriginal, a note on Peter's back, saying 'I am stupid, kick me'." 

"Yeah, James' revenge note on Snape's back was better: 'Turn me around, I'm going in the wrong direction'. Which every Gryffindor did. We Gryffindors are so kind to others." Sirius' grin was almost to big for his face.     

"Snape did give James a pretty bad nosebleed however," said Remus. "Too bad he found out it was James who'd written the note."

"Yeah, I've always said his handwriting is too easy to recognise." 

"Or that time when James had given McGonagall's bag legs, and it started to run around in the corridors like mad, and McGonagall trying to get it with summoning charms." Remus held on to a nearby stair rail to prevent himself from falling on the ground for laughing. 

"Yes, and it kept running away and avoiding the spells, and McGonagall shouting she'd find the one who did it," laughed Sirius, who was almost sitting on the stairs, because his legs almost couldn't hold him anymore. "And James around the corner, sick for laughing!" 

Remus shook his head and hiccuped for laughing. He took a few deep breaths. "Or when you'd set professor Kettleburn´s Nifflers loose on the grounds, so they could take a walk. And it took him and Hagrid and Filch about a week to find them all!" 

Sirius had his arms around his stomach and roared with laughter. Remus was still clutched to the rail of the stairs, and they were both unable to move even a finger.

Professor McGonagall came walking around the corner and found them breathless on the stairs. She hesitated for a short moment and raised one eyebrow. Then she decided it wasn't worth the effort to say something; it'll probably be over,  someday… She hoisted her bag with books up and walked past them, up the stairs. 

Sirius and Remus gasped for breath, and finally regained control over themselves. 

"Right," said Remus. "Shall we continue?" 

"Yes, indeed," answered Sirius, wiping some tears from his eyes. 

They walked up the stairs and found a familiar route to the library. As Sirius opened the door, he asked Remus: "do you think other students will ever have such an experience like that?"

"No," answered Remus, "I'm pretty sure those things only happen to Moony and Padfoot…"


	11. Graduation Ball

Well, it seems that ever Marauder fict has it: an seventh year ball. Since I'm highly unoriginal, this fict has one too! 

Beth Black, Sirius' little sister, Anne Zwarts and her friend, Juvenis Fortus Angelus and Rose are all actual persons who wanted to be in this story, and who am I to refuse?

Reviews are still very much appreciated, in case you all forgot!!!! 

**June 1977.**

_"Dress robes will be worn, and the ball will start at eight o'clock…"_

"Potter and Black, interesting though Quidditch may be, may I ask you to discuss it somewhere else, and not in this library?" Madam Pince' voice was a dangerous whisper, and she looked sternly at the two boys.

"But we're keeping Remus company!" said Sirius. He nodded to Remus, who was totally lost in the book he was reading, and not paying attention to them at all. 

"It seems as though he is more interested in his book than in your company. I must ask you to leave this library." It sounded more like an order than a request.

"Please?" begged James. "We'll be really quiet!" 

"Wasn't that the same thing you said ten minutes ago?" asked Madam Pince. "Now take you things and get out." She pointed at the door.

Remus finally looked up. "If you'd just wait half a minute, I've got this book almost finished." 

"Half a minute then," said Madam Pince. Remus nodded. His eyes flew over the last page, and in less than half a minute he closed the book. 

"Done," he said. "C´mon, let's go." They made their way out of the library.

"What book were you reading?" asked James.

"It was about something Muggles call the Second Worldwar. Terrible, millions of people died," told Remus. "I´d read the book before, but it was still horrible." 

"Muggles are crazy," concluded Sirius.

"Says someone who's half Muggle himself," added James dryly. 

They walked past a group of Gryffindor girls, who suddenly overcame with a fit of the giggles. Sirius looked irritated over his shoulder at them. 

"Do I have something on my nose or something?" he said. "Is this normal?"

They passed some other girls, who also seemed to be strangely giggly. Finally, they met Lily near the Fat Lady.

"James!" she said. "I've been looking all over for you! Have you heard the news?"

"No," interrupted Sirius. "Is it something about us? Why is everybody laughing at us? I hate being laughed at for a reason I don't know!" 

"I somehow get the idea they're not laughing _at_ us, but _to_ us," said Remus thoughtfully. 

"And I want to know why!" said Sirius irritably. 

"I can't believe you don't know!" said Lily suprised. "I mean, everybody's talking about it! You really haven't heard? Where have you been?"

"The libr-" started Remus, but James interrupted him. 

"What's the matter then? Can't you just tell us?"

"Oh, you must see for yourself! C´mon, this way." Lily dragged James to the common room, and Sirius and Remus followed, wondering what could be the matter.

There was a group of students standing in front of the publication board, making it unable for James and his friends to look on it. Being the tallest of them all, James could just see a small piece of parchment that hadn't been there the last time he'd looked on the board. He wriggled his way to it, with the others on his heels. 

"Look," he said, "this message's new."

"That's what I wanted to tell you!" said Lily beaming. 

Sirius dived past her and ripped the piece of parchment from the publicator. 

"Hey!" protested Remus, "I wanted to read that too!" 

James quickly plucked the parchment out of Sirius' hand and held it high up in the air, so that Sirius couldn't reach it. "Sirius, be a bit more social, will you?" 

He read the note, still holding it high up. A weird smile appeared on his face. 

"What does it say? Read it aloud!" requested Remus. James cleared his throat. 

"To all the seventh year students: a ball will be organised, to celebrate the end of your magical education. It will be held on the last Friday before the end of the year, and start at eight o'clock, until twelve o'clock. You must wear dress robes." 

"A ball!" cried Remus. "Excuse me, but who am I supposed to go to a ball with?"

Sirius tapped him on the shoulder and nodded to a group of girls behind him. 

Remus threw one look over his shoulder. The girls were giggly trying to draw his attention, and yet trying to act like they _weren't _trying to draw his attention. It miserable failed, however. Sirius used to call them the Remus J. Lupin-fanclub. Remus shook his head.

"No thank you, Sirius. I prefer a girl who doesn't faint when I'm dancing with her."

"Oh, poor Remus," said Sirius. "Is your breath really that bad?" James couldn't help but laugh. Remus shot an angry look at Sirius, before he took the note from James and pinned it on the board again. He suddenly frowned as he studied the message one more time. 

"Er, last Friday of the year, that's June 23, right?" he asked. 

"I think so," said James. "Why?" 

"Are you sure?" asked Remus, sounding almost scared.

"Yeah, our last day is June 30, that's on a Friday, so last Friday before that has to be 23!" said Sirius. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because June 23 is a full moon," said Remus through gritted teeth. "So unless they're holding the ball in the Shrieking Shack…" 

"Darn, so you can't come with us," said Sirius. "Well, see it from the bright side, Remus. At least you don't have to ask a girl to come with you!" 

"Speaking of which," interrupted James. "Who are _you _taking to the ball?" 

"You can only take _one _girl, right? That's gonna be a hard decision…" said Sirius, a playful twinkle in his eyes.

~*~

_A few days later. _

"Could you pass the butter?"

Remus shove the little plate with the lump of butter to Sirius, who dived in it with his knife. James was examining the Quidditch-page of the _Daily Prophet_ while eating his breakfast. 

"Anything interesting in the paper?" asked Peter.

"Hm, England lost to France," answered James. "A lot about Voldemort, and Muggles who get all crazy over something called a movie, I dunno, Star Wars or something." 

"Yeah, I've heard about it," said Sirius. "Something with a princess, and an old wizard-like guy. I´ll see if I can talk my dad into seeing it." 

"Why your dad?" James wanted to know.

"Because he's a Muggle, and he's used to movies. He went to one with my mom once, and she kept talking through it, asking questions and stuff. He said it was really irritating," explained Sirius. "That's why."

"So I guess you won't take us with you, right?" asked James.

"Only if you promise to be a good boy."

James put his thumb in his mouth and muttered: "I am a good boy, I am so sweet!"

"Says who?" laughed Sirius.

"Lily does. She reckons I'm the cutest boy in the school," said James, pulling his thumb out again. 

"Even cuter than me? Impossible!" said Sirius, pretending to be amazed. 

"Sirius, this may be hard for you, but I've got something to tell you," said James gravely. "There are people who _don't _think you'rethe prettiest boy around."

"NO!" said Sirius, with his hands in his hair. "I don't believe it!"

"It's the truth," shrugged Remus. "Hey, who're you taking to the ball?" 

"Really shrewd, Remus. Changing the subject," replied Sirius. "I dunno, really."

"Don't say you can't get a girl. They're practically fighting for you!" said James.

"No, but she has to be special. She has to be… to be… heck, I don't know! It's so easy for you, Potter. You already have a girlfriend!" 

"You know what," said Remus. "I´d almost feel sorry for you. Almost."

"Well, you can always go with you sister," said James. Four heads turned to the left, to where Beth Black, Sirius' younger sister, was sitting. She resembled Sirius in every possible way; she had long black hair, brown eyes, and the same trouble-making nature. She was chatting with her friends, not paying attention to her brother. 

"My sis," said Sirius finally. "Uhm, no, not really, thank you…" 

"O c´mon, she nice," said Remus.

"For a nightmare," added James. "She's just like you, Sirius." Sirius looked insulted. 

"Potter, that's my sister you're talking about!" he said. "Anyway, she can't come, she isn't a seventh year. And besides, she not really what I'm looking for in a girl."

James sighed. "Then what _are _you looking for in a girl?"

"Er… she has to be… good-looking, of course. And er… smart… funny…" Sirius summed up. "And er…" 

He was interrupted by Lily, who sat down next to James. "Hi Jam," she said.

"Strawberry or blueberry?" asked Sirius.

She stared at him. "I beg your pardon?"

"Strawberry or blueberry?" Sirius repeated. Lily opened and closed her mouth, not certain what to say. Under the table, Remus gave Sirius a well-aimed kick. 

"Argh, Remus!" groaned Sirius. "Did you have to?" 

"You called James Jam, so Sirius asked you whether you wanted strawberry or blueberry jam," explained Remus. Lily's face lightened up. 

"Oh, I understand," she said. She took a slice of bread, and, with a look on Sirius, put some strawberry jam on it. 

"Well," she said pleasantly, "what were you talking about?"

"Uhm…" said James, going slightly red. "Er… Quidditch."

"The ball," said Sirius, being a bit more honest.

"Girls," said Remus. This time it was his turn to receive a kick to his legs. James shot an angry look at him. 

"Oh… right," said Lily. "Girls. And exactly which girls?"

"Naturally, love, we were talking about the most beautiful girl in the school," said James. Lily's green eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, that's true," added Sirius. 

"You must know her," James continued. "She's also really smart. And she has red hair, and a pair of green eyes which are now looking at me." 

"Oh," said Lily, sounding relieved. "That's okay." She smiled a happy smile at James. 

"Lily," Remus said, "do you know somebody who can go to the ball with Sirius?"

"Hey, Moony, you're not trying to marry me off to someone, are you?" asked Sirius.

"Did you hear me say anything about marrying that girl?" replied Remus, but Sirius wasn't listening. His attention was drawn by a girl who'd just entered the Great Hall. She had dark hair, and brown eyes, much like Sirius' own eyes. The black Hogwarts robes looked very nice on her. Sirius vaguely heard James say: "there he goes, head over heels," but he sounded far away. 

Remus tapped him on the shoulder. "Get lost, Remus," said Sirius, not taking his eyes of the girl. 

"Okay then," shrugged Remus. "Just thought you'd want to know who she is."

"You know?" asked Sirius eagerly. "Tell me."

"Okay. Her name is Anne Zwarts, she's a Gryffindor seventh-year, she's Muggle-born, and she likes to draw and read," told Remus.

"How do you know all that stuff?" asked Lily.

"I've got my ways," said Remus dryly. "Now, Sirius, once again: who're you taking to the ball?" 

"Does the engagement still stand?" asked Sirius.

"Nope. I don't think there ever was any. We had no fiancée for you – yet," answered James.

"Then forget about it. I've made my decision," said Sirius, watching Anne sit down with her friend, and starting eating her breakfast. 

~*~

_The next afternoon…_

"When´re you going to ask it?" asked James.

"Tonight, I think. Or tomorrow. Or maybe in five minutes. I'm not sure yet," said Sirius.

"It's amazing," said Remus. "You easily call Snape the most horrible names -"

"That "insult to humanity" you called him yesterday wasn't even the most original one," added James. 

"-and don't even move as much as a muscle in your face when you're told off by McGonagall, but when it comes to asking the girl you like to a ball, you get really uncertain. It's weird," finished Remus. 

"Well, there's kind of a difference between talking to a girl or talking to Snape," said Sirius, sounding a bit irritated. For a split second, Remus and James thought of the same thing: Sirius asking Snape to the ball. They burst into laughter. Sirius, who knew them both longer than just this day, and usually thought along the same line as they did, had a face like a thundercloud. 

"Oh, hahaha, really funny," he said. 

"Hey, wait, Sirius, isn't that her?" James poked Sirius in the side, and nodded to a classroom on the other side of the corridor. Anne walked out, talking to a friend at her side. They noticed the three boys, and nodded as a hello. 

"C´mon, Sirius, ask it!" said Remus. 

"What, now?"

"No, when Peter's playing Quidditch for England, okay?" said James. "Yes, of course now! Chance of your lifetime!" With these words, he grabbed one of Sirius' arms, and dragged him towards Anne. 

"Hi," he said pleasantly to her.

"Hi," she replied, looking curious.

"Sirius got something to tell you," said James. "Bye!" He left Sirius standing with the two girls and hurried back to Remus.

"What´ve you done?" his friend asked.

"I kind of left Sirius with no choice," answered James.

Sirius nervously ran his fingers through his hair. "Uhm, hello," he said.

"Hi, Sirius," she said. Her friend tapped her on the shoulder. "Anne, I'm going, I need to get a book from the library. See you in History."

"Yes, see you then." They were left alone. 

"You've got History of Magic now?" asked Sirius.

"Yeah. Not that we're paying a lot of attention now, after the exams, as you'll probably know, because you've got History with me," she said.

"Oh, er, I forgot, sorry."

"It's okay. Want to walk to the classroom with me?"

"Yeah, sure, why not?" he said. "It's this way."

They walked in silence for a few minutes. Sirius debated with himself whether he should ask her or not, but then she began talking again.

"So, James said you wanted to tell me something."

"Right, uhm… that's right, he did."

"Do you still need to say it, or did I miss it?"

"No, I er… haven't said it. What I wanted to say is… what I wanted to say… Uhm… Well, you know there's this ball, in two weeks."

"Yes?" she said encouraging.

"Well, it's kind of embarrassing… uhm, to go there when you don't have a dancepartner," he added quickly. "And so, er, I was thinking… Well, if you don't have someone, you could come with me."

She raised an eyebrow. "_I_ could come with _you_, if _I_ don't have someone?" 

"Yes," he said. She gave him a disapproving McGonagall-look. He swallowed. "I mean no. Actually, it's the other way around. Actually, it's, ah, can _I_ come with _you_, if you're not dancing with someone else?" 

Her face lightened up in the happiest smile he'd ever seen. "You really mean it? Oh, Sirius, I thought you'd never going to ask me!"

"Are you serious?" he asked. "I mean, what made you think I wasn't going to ask you?"

Instead of giving him an answer, she suddenly stood tiptoe, and kissed him on the cheek. Seeing his suprised expression, she said, giggling a bit: "I've always wanted to do that, and now was my chance!" 

"Uhm… right," he said. Seeing the happy smile on her face, he smiled back. "Shall we continue to class? I think Binns won't accept this as an excuse…"

~*~

_The night of the ball…_

"Well, what'd you think?" said Sirius, turning around in front of Remus. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah, but…" hesitated his friend.

"But what?"

"Isn't it a bit black?" said Remus. "I mean, you've got black hair, and now black dress-robes on, and black shoes."

"No, I don't think so. Black looks good on me. And it's my last name, so it fits me." Sirius turned around and looked in the mirror. He liked what he saw. 

They were in their dormitory. Sirius was preparing for the ball, and Remus was giving him advice. He was sitting on the bed, already with his cloak on, ready for the short walk to the Whomping Willow. He wasn't jealous, not really. He just hated it that he couldn't come. He just hated being alone, being separated from others. He sighed.

"Do you know where James is?" he asked Sirius.

"Last time I saw him he was in the bathroom, declaring war to his hair," said Sirius. "Poor James."

"I feel more sorry for his hair," grinned Remus. His sad mood was forgotten. "I remember that day when he tried to make it lie flat with a whole jar of wax. And yet it stayed wild." 

James entered the dormitory, his hair pointing in every direction. He also had black dress robes on. 

"James!" said Sirius. "What´ve you done to your hair?" 

"Nothing," said James, looking in the mirror too.

"That's what I mean. I thought you were going to try and make it lie flat," said Sirius.

"Yeah, but I figured it wasn't going to work anyway," answered James. "So why bother trying?" Despite what he was saying, he stroked over his hair. 

"Well, I'm finished," said Sirius. "I guess it's time to go down."

"Yeah, it's time to go," said Remus. "Time to go…"

"Hey, this'll be the last time you're going to the Shrieking Shack," said James. "Try and enjoy it."

"Yeah, right, whatever," said Remus, a feeble smile on his face. "I´ll see you tomorrow." They parted in the Common room. Remus made his way through the portrait hole, into the corridor, where Madam Pomfrey was already waiting for him. 

~*~

"What time is it?" asked James. Sirius checked his watch.

"About five to eight," he said. "Shall we go to the Entrance Hall and wait for Lily and Anne?"

"Yeah, good idea," answered James. "Let's go."

They made their way down the marble staircase. Several classmates were already there, waiting for the doors of the Great Hall to open. Among the waiting students were also Rose and Juvenis, two Gryffindor students. 

"Hi Sirius, hi James," Rose said pleasantly. "Isn't it exciting, a ball?"

"Yeah, very exciting," said Sirius. "Hey, Rose, you don't happen to know where Anne and Lily are, do you?"

"Last time I saw them, they were in their dormitory. But that was about half an hour ago," replied Rose. 

"Why do you want to know?" asked Juvenis. "You haven't seen them yet?"

"Oh, of course we have," said Sirius, sounding a bit irritated. "But we just like to ask where they are for no reason at all."

"Sirius…," said James. "Relax. We know you're nervous, just don't show it."

"Well," said Rose. "There's no reason to ask now, because there they are." She nodded to the marble staircase. James and Sirius turned around. 

Lily and Anne were talking while they slowly made their way down; apparently they hadn't seen the two boys yet. Lily was wearing a green dress which matched the colour of her eyes, and her long red hair was running down her back like a cascade of fire. Anne was wearing a simple blue dress, and her black hair shone in the light of the candles illuminating the Entrance Hall. 

James could hear Sirius swallowing, and he nudged him laughing in his side. "C´mon," he said. "Let's show them we're alive."

He got over to the two girls, with Sirius on his heels. 

"James!" said Lily. "I hadn't noticed you."

"Lily, girl," said James. "How do you do it? I mean, how can you be so strikingly beautiful?" 

"A natural talent, I suppose," Lily laughed. "And a bit of help from a dress. Why?"

"Because he wants to look like you," said Sirius, coming back to life again. "He wants to have a horde of boys running after him; it's what he's always dreamed off. Beware, Lily. In a few days you'll see James walking around in a pink dress."

"He's always like this," James told Anne. "His parents are still hoping it's all part of the process, like puberty. But I must say that _we_ already lost all hope." He sighed dramatically. 

"Hm," said Anne, looking at Sirius. "I´d already noticed he was a bit weird."

"Oh, right, a bit weird," said Sirius. "Is that a good weird?"

"Of course," replied Anne. "The best kind of weirdness I've ever seen. Actually, that's why I like you so much." Sirius almost literally lightened up after this.

Right after she'd said that, James noticed the atmosphere in the Entrance Hall was changing. Silence spread through the mass of students like circles in water, and the Hall became filled with expectation. He craned his neck to see what was happening. 

"I believe the doors are opening," said Lily. Several people around them beckoned her to be quiet.

Slowly, one of the giant oak doors opened, and revealed professor Dumbledore, standing in the opening, a smile on his face. His dark blue robes were embroided with silver stars. He cleared his throat.

"Welcome, tonight, at this ball. And what a night! The stars shine in the dark blue sky, and the moon shines her friendly light on us all," he said. Apparently, he was in a poetic mood. "I could say a whole lot more, but I get the idea that you don't want to listen to the babble of an old man." Dumbledore had a twinkle in his blue eyes when he said this. "So I´ll let you in now. This is the last feast you'll be enjoying at Hogwarts. Make it something you want to remember." With this, he stepped aside. The other door also swung open, and the students started to stream into the Great Hall.

~*~

It was that James knew it was the Great Hall where he'd been eating almost every day for the past seven years, else he wouldn't have recognised it. The floating candles dimly lit the room, and instead of the four house tables, there were several round tables along the walls. In the middle of the Great Hall, there was an empty spot, apparently the dance floor. 

"Now we'll see if those dancing-lessons had any effect," he said to Sirius.

"Dancing-lessons?" asked Lily. "I didn't know you had them."

"Of course, we couldn't show our face at a ball without being able to dance."

"And we were pretty good at it, right, James?" said Sirius.

"Better than Peter. But that doesn't really say much, actually," said James thoughtfully.

"Where is Peter anyway?" asked Lily.

"Probably in the Common room or somewhere. He couldn't get a girl – not that he really wanted to come," explained James.

"Apparently the Slytherins could find girls," said Sirius. "There they are." He nodded to a few tables not so far away from them. 

"Amazing," said James. "Even Snape has found a girl who can stand him a whole evening." 

"Really?" said Sirius, craning his neck. "Oh, yuck, I see him." 

"I don't see how he could get such a good-looking girl," commented James. Indeed, the girl who was sitting next to Snape was pretty, with long blond hair.

"The Imperio curse, probably," said Anne.

"And that was enough about Snape," said Sirius. "I want to have a good time, and I'm not having fun when I'm thinking of Snape." He suddenly bowed to Anne. "Kind lady, can I have this dance?"

"Why certainly," replied Anne. "It would be my honour." Sirius took her hand and guided her through the other students. 

"Well," said James, turning to Lily. "Want to dance with me?"

"You're not afraid I´ll squish your toes?" she asked in return.

"You squishing my toes?" he answered. "Never." He took her in his arms. "You must be such a good dancer that you're flying instead of dancing." He kissed her forehead. 

Lily smiled.

~*~

"Here come our drinks," said Sirius, as he saw James approaching, carrying a tray with four goblets above his head, wading through the students. "About time too."

When James´d finally reached them, he put the tray down. "Sorry," he apologised. "It took a bit long, but it was so crowded. Here you are." He gave everybody a goblet. 

"Well, let's make that on us, right?" Everyone of them lifted their goblet and drank.

They sat in silence for a few moments, looking at the dancing couples. James caught a glimpse of Rose and Juvenis, dancing slowly. Rose had her head on Juvenis' shoulder, and he whispered something in her ear which made her smile. 

"So," Sirius broke the silence. "A trip around the world. And where exactly are you going?"

"Excuse me," interrupted James. "A trip around the world? Did I miss anything here?"

"Yes," said Anne. "When you were gone to get our drinks, I told Lily and Sirius I was planning to make a journey around the world, after I left school. Unfortunately, I have to leave a few days earlier, if I don't want to miss the group I'm travelling with. So I can't take the Hogwarts Express back to London with you." She sighed, but then smiled again. "But apart from that, I'm really looking forward to it."

"Where're you going?" asked Sirius again.

"I´ll start in Ireland," told Anne. "Then I'm going to the States, sight-seeing, you know, Washington, New York, that kind of things. Then on to Australia, the Aboriginals and their culture. After that, I'm going to the east, China and such, then to Russia, Greece, Egypt, Italy, France, the Netherlands, and then I'm back in England!" 

"Wow," said Lily. "How long are you going?"

"Almost a year. I expect to be home next spring."

"A year! I can't miss you that long," said Sirius dramatically.

"Then go with her," suggested James.

"Oh, right, I can already see my parents," replied Sirius. "'Hi mom, dad, I'm off on a journey around the world with my girlfriend. See you next spring!' They'll kill me!" 

"Why?" laughed Anne.

"Well," said Sirius darkly, "they reckon I'm not _independent _and _serious _enough to be travelling around the world." He snorted.

"Maybe they have a point there," said James thoughtfully. "I mean, maybe you've never told Anne, but a seventeen-year old who still sleeps with his teddybear…"

"I _what_?!" said Sirius. The other three burst with laughter. "Why you, Potter, take that back! Or I´ll tell them some stories about _you_." 

"What, you mean it's true?" said James, roaring with laughter. 

"Sometimes I truly hate you," said Sirius. "Honestly."

"Sometimes I hate you equally as much," said James. He drained his goblet, and shove it toward Sirius. "You turn to get drinks."

"Yes, if you please," said Lily, and she also placed her goblet in front of Sirius.

"Just trying to get rid of me, right?" asked Sirius. 

"Was that so obvious?" replied James. Anne got up from her chair.

"C´mon, Sirius, I´ll come with you," she said. Sirius sighed. 

"It's a conspiracy," he said, but got up and followed Anne through the crowd.

James grinned. Lily touched his arm. 

"A teddybear?" she said.

"Of course not," he said. "I think he got rid of his teddybear when he was three years old. I mean, Sirius Black with a teddybear? Never!"

"It would be an amusing sight," said Lily, her eyes shining. 

"Actually," said James, bowing over to her as if he was going to tell a great secret, "it's an elephant, Mister Trunky. But shhh, don't tell anyone!"

Lily giggled. "You're lying. That can't be true. An elephant called Mister Trunky? Even worse!"

"You're insulting Mister Trunky!" laughed James. 

Lily overcame with another fit of the giggles when she saw Sirius and Anne approaching. She pointed to them, not able to speak.

"Don't say a word!" said James urgently. "It would ruin his life!" 

Lily was hardly able to remain sitting on her chair. Sirius put the goblets down and sighed. "Okay, either you're drunk, or James has made up some stupid story about me. What is it this time?"

"I can't say," hiccuped Lily. "I'm not allowed to say it!" 

Sirius looked down on them and shook his head. "Mental," he told Anne. "And then he accuses _me_ of being crazy." James smiled innocently. 

"And don't try and pretend to know nothing of this, James Potter! I'm sure you're the one to blame." Sirius turned to Anne. "Let's leave them alone. Want to dance?"

"Sure," agreed Anne, and the two of them left and disappeared in the mass of dancing students.

"And, was it true?" asked Lily finally.

"Mister Trunky? No. I have a cousin who had a Mister Trunky once," told James. "He was great to throw with, Mister Trunky I mean, but Sirius never had one."

"Poor Sirius," was Lily's comment. 

"Hm, hm," said James. Lily stretched out her hand and stroked his hair. 

"I love you," she suddenly whispered in his ear. James turned his head to her.

"You know what? I love you even more."

"Impossible. You can't love me more than I love you, because I love you more than my life. I´d die for you," she said, before their lips connected…


	12. Leaving Hogwarts

**There**** is a Lord of the Rings link in this chapter: the main character of LotR is called Frodo Baggins, and JRR Tolkien, who wrote LotR, lived in Oxford. So the Headmaster of the wizard university being called mr Baggins isn't a coincidence…**

**Friday**** June 30, 1978.**

_"I have been shunned all my life…"_

The platform at Hogsmeade was loaded with Hogwarts students again, waiting for their train to get home. James, Lily, Sirius, Remus and Peter were standing aside with their trunks. They were looking at a blond sixth-year who was talking about how great he was. Everybody tried to avoid him except for a group of girls who were clearly deeply in love with him.

Sirius was grinning. "I know a less pleasant story about that guy. Do you remember his sorting? He had to wait almost two minutes before the Sorting Hat decided he _might_ fit in at Hufflepuf!" Everybody laughed.

"I always forget his name. It is so silly and long. What was it again?" Peter wanted to know. "Peter! How can you forget!" Sirius said in played disbelief. "The all-famous Gilderoy Lockhart, the next minister of magic!"

"I heard he wants to study the Dark Arts. He says he has a natural talent for that" James added. "Oh no!" Remus cried. "Not the Dark Arts! Exactly the study I wanted to do!" But there was something in his voice, something that said he was hiding something…

"What are you complaining about? Now you can do the same thing as our future Minister of Magic! Be happy!" Lily said with a smile. "Hey Lily. Don't you want an autograph of Mr. Lockhart? Every girl seems to be in love with him" Sirius joked.

"An autograph of Gilderoy Lockhart? No thank you, Sirius. I prefer to die in a normal way!" Lily replied. "When you're finished arguing if you're going to ask an autograph or not, get on the train please or it's leaving without you" said James, who was already dragging his and Lily's trunk to the train.

"James, it's very sweet of you, but I can carry my own trunk, thank you!" Lily took the trunk and carried it to the train.

They were the last persons to get on the train. As he stepped in, James took a last look at Hogsmeade station.

~*~

James followed his friends to their places and sat down. Lily was leaning against him, using him as some sort of cushion. They all stared at the great shadow of Hogwarts castle, as the train speeded up. This was the last time they were able to look at it and they were all silent. Peter and Sirius were the first ones to ´wake up´. They started chatting about what they wanted to do now they finished school. Peter said he wanted to take care for his mother so he wanted to take a job at the Ministry of Magic, "or something like that".

"What are you going to do, James?" Sirius suddenly wanted to know.

"Do I have to know that already? Man, I'm nearly 18! I've still got years!" James replied with his head leaning against the window.

"No, seriously, what are you going to do? Play in a Quidditch team?"

"Quidditch? And get my nose broken by a bludger? No, thank you! I think I´ll find myself a nice little apartment in London and live on my own for at least a year, then I´ll decide what to do." He already knew what he wanted to do after that year, but he wasn't going to tell in front of his friends and Lily…

"Live by yourself? No way!" Sirius said.

"Yes, I'm going to live on my own. Believe me, it's true."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am. And if I'm not, tell me why!"

"Well, because I'm going to live with you, of course! You weren't thinking I'm going to let my best friend who knows absolutely _nothing_ of Muggle-life live alone in Muggle London, were you?"

"This must be some terrible joke! I can already predict what the house will look like after a week: a disaster!" In reality he wasn't shocked at all. Quite the opposite in fact.

"Now that's decided ("Decided?!? You forced me to take you in my house!") there's only one person we haven't heard jet. Tell us Remus! Share your feelings with us! What's your dream? Who do you want to be?" Sirius was clearly in a good mood.

Remus did not laugh. He did not look at his friends as he took an envelope from his robes. "I.. er… wanted to tell you, but… well, see for yourself" he said and handed the envelope over to James. James took a piece of parchment out of the envelope and started reading it aloud.

_Dear__ Mr. Lupin _it said

_We are very sorry to tell you we denied your request to study at Wizard University in Oxford. Although your tests proof you have a high potential and a great interest in the Dark Arts, we think your ´special circumstances´ makes it impossible for us to accept you here._

_Professor Baggins, headmaster of Wizard University, Oxford._

They were all shocked.

"So, in normal words, he's saying they don't want you because… because… you're a werewolf?! That's stupid! Dumbledore…" Sirius exploded.

"Not everyone is like Dumbledore, Sirius", Peter muttered softly. "And maybe they're right. I mean, a werewolf is dangerous and…"

"Thank you, Peter, for you very kind and understanding words! Really nice to Remus, what you just said!" Lily said angrily. Nobody of them heard the opening of the door.

"For once in his life Pettigrew is right, Evans. Who wants a werewolf specialised in the Dark Arts anyway. The only good point of it is the fact he knows a lot about werewolves!"

Everybody stiffened. Severus Snape.

James felt the sudden and immense need to throw Snape out of the window.

"Nobody asked for _your_opinion, Snape! Better leave now!" He said.

"Fine! I don't want to stay anyway. Nice company, a werewolf and a complete looser."

"I hope you poison yourself. It would relief the whole world!" Lily added. Snape looked angrily at her and left.

They spent the rest of the journey trying to cheer Remus up…


	13. Mrs Lupin's idea

**No, as some of you maybe thought, the chapter before this one wasn't the end. Not by a long shot, actually... **

**Summer**** of 1978.**

_"Unable to find paid work because of what I am…"_

"Remus, dinner!" his mother called from downstairs.

"Coming!" he replied.

"Now!" she called back. "This moment!" 

"Yeah, coming!" he replied. He slowly got up, his book still in his hands and his eyes still glued to the pages. He walked to the door, almost walked into it, then opened it while still reading. He was already out of his room when he looked at the number of the page, memorised it, and threw the book on his bed. Then he walked down the stairs. 

His parents and his brother were already waiting for him. His mother was just dividing the meat into pieces. Remus sat down, next to his father.

"Reading again?" said Romulus.

"Yeah, Dracula, for a change," said Remus. His mother casually put the largest piece of meat on his plate. Not argues about that; everybody was used to it.

"Don't you boys ever get tired of that book?" asked Mr Lupin, starting to cut his meat in pieces.

"Uh… no," answered Remus honestly. "But it's so good, and it all seems to be real, but you _know_it isn't. And vampires are cool, and well, Dracula is kind of the grandfather of all vampires." 

Yeah, so Dracula is the coolest vampire," added Romulus. "And the book is well written, and-"

"Romulus, vegetables," interrupted his mother.

"- most of the things that are known about vampires is in the book," rattled Romulus on, shovelling beans on his plate. "So you can learn from it too."

"Hey, dad, you like detectives, right?" said Remus. Romulus muttered something, but Remus paid no attention. "Well, it's kind of like a detective, so –" He stopped death in the middle of his sentence, and looked at Romulus.

"What did you say?"

Romulus was taken aback. "Nothing, really. Nothing of importance!"

"Really? Why don't you repeat it, so we can hear it all, since it was _nothing__ of importance!" Remus' voice had the warmth of an iceberg._

"I said nothing," said Romulus defensive. "Really."

"Gee, and I was thinking I heard you talking about inspector Morse, the Muggle detective _who_did_ make it into Oxford. But I must've been mistaken, right, Romulus?" said Remus sarcastically. "You did not say that, did you?"_

"It was a joke," muttered Romulus, "just a stupid joke…"

"One more of you 'jokes' and you'll have a plate flying to your head," warned Remus icily. "See how you can laugh about _that."_

"Boys, quiet," interrupted Mr Lupin. "Romulus, we told you no more Oxford-'jokes'. And Remus, we're not throwing things in this house, okay? Now eat!"

They all sat in silence for a couple of minutes. Then, when she was placing the deserts on the table, Mrs Lupin asked Remus: "Have you already thought about what you're going to do after the summer? Find a job perhaps?"

"Where?" replied Remus. Romulus lifted his head.

"I saw an advert in the _Daily__ Prophet_," he said, "for the Magical Animal Zoo in Lond-"

He never got to finish his sentence, because he had to duck for a fork that was flying his way. The next moment, Remus stood next to his chair, yelled "I am NOT an animal!" and ran upstairs, slamming the door behind him.

"They were looking for people to take _care _of the animals," said Romulus to his parents. "He took it too personal!"

"Then go and explain that to him," said his mother shortly.

~*~ 

Remus lay curled up on his bed, softly whispering as he read a book to himself. Some books were great to do that with, especially plays by Shakespeare. Remus played every part, with different voices for everyone, and with the right dramatic intonations. It was fun, and it kept his mind of things, and that was something he needed right now.

A soft knock on the door. Remus didn't move and didn't answer. When the person knocked again, he turned his head, and yelled: "Romulus, get lost! Or better: get eaten by a dragon!" On second thought, he thought, that would only be sad for the dragon; he'd probably never eaten anything as distasteful as Remus' younger brother. He shrugged and continued reading again. 

He did notice, however, that the door opened. He tightened his grip on his book. If it was Romulus, then he'd have another book flying to his head. 

_Pity__ of "The Complete Works of William Shakespeare" though, _he thought. 

"Remus?" said a voice. To his relief, Remus recognised it as his mothers'. He turned to his other side.

"Hi," he said. She shook her head at the sight of him, curled up in his little den, trying to keep the world out. 

"How are you?" she asked.

"I'm fine," Remus replied with a cheerfulness he did not feel. His mother raised an eyebrow. 

"Sure, and brooms can fly," she said rather sarcastically. This time he really smiled.

"They can, actually." 

His mother returned the smile, and sat down on his bed. "Really, how are you?"

"Well, I've been told two weeks ago that I can't take the study I want, and thus reminded that I´ll never be truly normal. Then my cute little brother painfully reminds me of that again. How do you think I feel?" 

"Remus…" said his mother softly. "He didn't mean it like you thought."

"I know, of course he didn't," said Remus sharply. "But that stupid guy from the university did. He put it nicely, but what he really meant was: get away, werewolf, because you're dangerous, and we don't want you around."

"What do you want me to do about it?" said Mrs Lupin. "Use the Imperio Curse on him, and force him to accept you?"

"No, of course not," muttered Remus. "You can't do anything about it, I know."

"But maybe," said his mother, "there's a way to study Dark Arts…" Remus sat up in a flash, his eyes shining.

"How?"

"Well," she began, "about twelve years ago, when you were bitten, your father and I were aware that not everyone would accept you, and that you might have difficulties finding a job." He nodded, eager for her to go on.

"So we decided to start a bank account at Gringotts, on your name. A part of the money your father earns at his job, goes to that account. It must be…" she rolled her eyes upwards, "almost… fifty thousand Galleons. Yes, all for you," she added, seeing his disbelieving expression. 

"Now, this money comes free when you're eighteen, until then you can't touch it. it was our original plan that you should use it when you're living on your own, but I thought; why shouldn't he use it to study?"

"But mom…" Remus protested. She raised a hand.

"Not going to college," she said, "but you could use the money to buy books and learn by yourself. And, since field experience seems to be so important these days, you could use it to travel around Europe, and learn from other people."

Remus stared at her. "It's a joke," he said finally.

"I can tell you pretty seriously that this is _not__ a joke," his mother answered. "But there is, of course, a condition." Remus groaned. _

"I knew it. There's always a condition." 

"Listen," she said, "You need to take this really seriously. You cannot spend half of the money on your study, and then decide this is not what you want, and quit it. The money is also your living, if you can't find a paid job. So this must be what you really want. You must be absolutely sure about this." 

"Are you kidding?" Remus said beaming. "Sure about this? I've never been so sure about anything in my whole life!" 

"You're doing it then?" asked his mother smiling.

"You bet I am!" 


	14. James's birthday

**Lot's of quotes from Jane Austen's _Pride and Prejudice_. God, I love that book. I love the series almost even more – especially Colin Firth as Mr Darcy! The jumping-in-the-duckpont is of course a hommage to that one scene... ah, see-through shirts, what's not to love about them?? **

**July, 1978. **

_"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife."_

"Mail for you," said Romulus, throwing two parchment letters on the _Daily Prophet._

"Not on the paper," muttered Remus irritated, shoving the letters aside. 

"Aren't you going to read them?" said his younger brother curiously.

Remus glanced at the letters. "They're from James and Sirius. None of them says: "urgent, read this!" so I suppose it can wait." He continued reading. Romulus sighed.

"The holy paper of Remus Lupin…" he said dramatically.

"If you'd shut up, then I can read my 'holy paper'". Scanning the pages, but seeing nothing really interesting, Remus quickly reached the last page. He folded the paper up and threw it to Romulus. "There you go." Then he reached for his letters.

He opened James' first. The sight of his friend tidy handwriting brought a smile on his face.

_"Dear Remus,_

_Of course, because of your fantastic summer holidays, you might have forgotten that July 25 is my 18th birthday, but, naturally, I have not. Don't panic, I haven't heard anything from Sirius either, and I'm seriously starting to doubt if Peter is even alive. _

_Well, what I wanted to say is that you're invited to come. There isn't a real party, so you can decide yourself when you're coming. I hope you still know where I live; according to my mother, you were twelve the last time you were here. _

_Hope to see you then!_

_James._

_PS: Don't forget to bring a present!"_

Remus made a mental note to go to Diagon Alley and get a present for James, as he opened the letter from Sirius. Sirius' opening line made him laugh out loud:

_"Dear Remus,_

_Perhaps you've forgotten, but July 25 is James' birthday…"_

~*~

_A few days later, July 25 to be exactly._

Remus Apparated with a small pop in front of the Potter Mansion. For a few moments, he just stared at the house. He had apparently forgotten how rich the Potters were, or how enormous James' house was. 

He walked to the front door and, after a short hesitation, rang the bell. The door was opened, but it took him a split second to notice that there was a house-elf in front of him, reaching not much higher than his knees. The little creature bowed courteously. 

"Good afternoon, Sir," it squeaked.

"Uhm, hello," Remus replied uncertain. "Er… I'm here for James."

"The young master is in the portrait gallery," squeaked the elf. "Does Sir know the way?" It blinked quite friendly to him.

"Not exactly," said Remus, walking inside. "The last time I was here was – oh, ages ago…" He wanted to say something about the size of the house, but was interrupted by a woman with short curly black hair; Mrs Potter, James' mother. 

She greeted him as though he'd just returned from a six-years long journey and fought the most terrible things, such as dragons. 

"Remus!" she said, enthusiastically shaking his hand. "How are you? I haven't seen you in a long time!" He smiled.

"At graduation, actually." She flushed.

"Oh, sorry… of course, how could I forget?" She laughed a bit nervously. _Apparently, he thought, _she'd just remembered what I am. __

_"Easy with the ego, Remus" _his brother's voice suddenly echoed in his head. _"You're not the only werewolf; not everything revolves around you."_

Mrs Potter waved her hand around the hall. "And, do you still remember it? The last time you were here was when you and Sirius and Peter were staying over for two nights. You were twelve then, remember?"

Yes, he remembered. And he remembered a whole lot more; Peter falling into the duck pond in the Potter's garden, the pillow fights, and the so-called 'Pyjama-excursions' to the kitchen in the dead of night. But Remus somehow got the feeling Mrs Potter wasn't aware of _that _part of those two days, so he didn't mention it.

She clapped her hands together. "Anyway, I suppose you're not here to talk with me." She then turned to the house-elf. "Twinky, do you know where James is?"

"Last time Twinky is seeing him was in the portrait gallery," squeaked the house-elf.

"Do you know where that is?" Mrs Potter asked Remus. He shook his head.

"You might as well give me a map of the house," he said.

"No, Twinky will bring you there. Well, Remus, it's been nice meeting you!" She greeted him and disappeared in what seemed to be the sitting room. 

~*~

Remus followed the house-elf up the stairs, to a long corridor with huge paintings along the wall. James was looking up at them, and it almost seemed as if he was posing as well. Remus gestured to the elf that he could manage from here, and walked over to his friend.

"Hi," he said. James turned sharply around.

"Oh, hi," he answered. "I didn't know you'd already arrived." He looked, thought Remus, as if he was just caught red-handed for something. Remus grinned.

"What, did I caught you posing for your own portrait?"

"You saw that?" groaned James. "I mean…"

"Next week in _Witches Weekly,_" said Remus teasingly. "'_James Potter; is the most eligible bachelor and heir to the Potter-fortune going mad?'_"

"'The most eligible bachelor'?" said James. "You must be going mad as well."

"At least I'm not posing for an invisible painter."

"But wouldn't it be cool? Look at this one!" James pointed enthusiastically at the portrait in front of them. 

"Who is it?"

"My great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather, Aurelius Potter," said James proudly. "Member of the Wizard Council." 

"Aurelius Potter?" said Remus. "Some name…" 

"Oh, there are other stupid names," said James casually. "But there're also some James's around."

"What's your favourite painting?" asked Remus curiously, as they slowly walked past the portraits. 

"This one," pointed James, suddenly stopping near a painting in a huge oak frame. The portrayed wizard wasn't old, as the others were. He had long red robes, embroided with gold, on, and silver-grey eyes. The hair on his head was ink-black and untidy. Remus looked a few times from the portrait to James, and back. 

"You know what?" he said. "You look exactly like that portrait."

"Hey, you noticed it!" laughed James. "Yeah, that's why I like that portrait. Did you see who it is?" He nodded to a small brass sign. Remus bowed over to read it.

_"Nicodemus Gryffindor."_

"Gryffindor? _The _Gryffindor?" he said suprised.

"His grandson, actually," said James casually, examining his nails.

"What is a portrait of Gryffindors grandson doing in your portrait gallery?"

"Well, since there are ten-or-so great's between old Gryffindor and my grandfather…"

"But why are you called Potter, and not Gryffindor?" 

James sighed. "Apparently this Nicodemus only got a daughter, and she married a Potter, and that's how I ended up here. Or something like that, you can find the finer details in the library. Don't ask me to explain it, I don't know a thing of it."

Remus continued looking at the painting. "You know, the resemblance is extraordinary," he said. "You look _exactly _like him, down to the hair…"

"Except for the glasses. Anyone got a black felt-tip?" said someone suddenly. Remus and James whirled around. 

Sirius stood there casually with his hands in his pockets, as if he'd been standing there all the time. "Hi," he said. "Peter told me to tell you that he can't come."

"Sirius!" said James. "Next time warn us when you're going to give us a heart-attack!"

"Oh, sorry," grinned Sirius. "Remus, James, watch out, I'm going to scream 'boo!'"

"Bring it on," said Remus. 

"BOO!" yelled Sirius over the top of his longs. James and Remus merely flinched.

"And?" said Sirius expectantly.

"Oh, yeah, scream," answered James.

"Faint," added Remus. "That better?"

"Perfect." Sirius cleared his throat. "Ahem, I hereby declare this Marauders Meeting opened. The date is July 25, 1978. James Potter?"

"Present," said James.

"Remus Lupin?"

"Present." 

"Peter Pettigrew?"

"Not present," said Remus.

"I am present too," said Sirius. "Okay, our first order of business is to decide whether we're going outside or not, because it's boiling hot inside."

"Well, who's wearing black trousers in the summer?" said James. "That's asking for trouble."

"No personal opinions, Potter. Well, anyone against going outside?"

"Not me," said Remus.

"Me neither," added James.

"Since it was my motion, I agree with going outside too," said Sirius. "That's decided then! End of meeting. James, lead the way." He gestured to James.

"Do you still have that famous duck-pond?" asked Sirius when they were outside, in the garden. 

"Why?" replied James. "Want to take a dive?"

"Sure, why not? Last one there is a troll!" yelled Sirius as he started a sprint. 

"A troll huh? No way!" said James, and he started pacing after Sirius. 

"Guys, what age are you?!" yelled Remus after them.

"A beautiful seventeen years!" answered Sirius cheerfully over his shoulder. "I'm not the grown-up here!" 

He reached the pond, and with a loud "yippee!" he dived headlong into the water.

James stopped near the edge and stared at Sirius, now actually swimming around the pond.

"He's crazy," said James to Remus, who came standing next to him. Sirius was now successfully trying to float on his back like an otter. 

"At least he's cooler than we are," answered Remus. 

"By the way, James," interrupted Sirius, still floating on his back. "I must compliment you on your duck-pond. I can see why Peter fell in it; it's delightfully cool."

"That settles it," said Remus. "Sirius, I'm coming!" He jumped in the water, then he remembered something. He waded out again, and pulled James in by his shirt.

"You too, James!"

~*~

"I'm almost completely dry now," announced Sirius.

"Me too," said Remus, leaning back in his chair, his eyes closed. "Finally."

"There goes your chance to study my fantastic musculature." 

"Your shirt wasn't _that _transparent, Sirius," said James.

"Pity I missed that," said Lily, who'd arrived only an hour ago. She sighed dreamily. "Sirius Black in a transparent white shirt." Remus grinned.

"I know more interesting sights than that." 

"Like?" she replied encouraging.

"Like me in a wet shirt," said James, his arm around Lily.

"If Remus thinks you in a wet shirt is an interesting sight, then there's something seriously wrong with him," said Sirius. Remus shot an angry look at him.

"Of course not! What I meant was…"

"McGonagall in a wet shirt?" suggested Sirius.

"Snape in a wet shirt." 

"Remus, gross!" Remus burst with laughter as Sirius pulled him from his chair and attempted to choke him. "Thanks for the mental torture!" James pulled him back.

"Sirius, not now, the food's coming." Indeed, three house-elves were walking towards them, carrying trays with food above their heads. Remus, lying on the ground, recognised the first one as Twinky.

"What is it, Twinky?" asked James. The house-elf bowed.

"Mrs Potter said you must be hungry after swimming in the pond," he squeaked. "So she told us to bring you dinner."

So it is true," said Sirius, sitting down on his chair again. "Mothers _do know everything."_

"Yeah," agreed James. "Or maybe our sitting room overlooks the pond…"

Sirius muttered something as the house-elves put several dishes and plates with food on the table. Finally, they bowed, told them they hoped they would enjoy dinner, and disappeared. 

"Aren't we supposed to sing?" asked Remus, as they all picked up their forks.

"No," said Sirius and James together. Lily grinned.

"_Bon appetite _then," she said. 

Then next few minutes the silence was only broken by the soft tinkling of four people eating, and occasionally "could you pass me this-or-that." Finally, Sirius put his fork down.

"Well," he said, "I'm done eating. Now bring on that fireworks."

"Could you please explain," said Remus," what you're talking about?" 

"You still haven't read _Lord of the Rings, _have you? Because then you would have known," Sirius said, "that it begins with the hobbits Bilbo and Frodo celebrating their birthday with a huge feast and, after that, fireworks."

"I stopped listening when you said hobbits," said Remus angelic. Sirius shot him an angry look. 

"Remus, what kind of books do _you _like then?" interrupted Lily. Now it was Sirius' turn to groan. 

"Please don't make him start about Shakespeare," he said. "Please, I beg you…"

"Sirius has already answered that question for me," said Remus. "Basically, I like all the books written before, say, 1930." 

"Have you ever read Jane Austen?" Lily asked him. Remus looked doubtfully. 

"I don't recall… wait, Jane Austen? Didn't she write _Pride and Prejudice_?" he said. Lily nodded enthusiastically. "Oh no," Remus said. "I'm not going to read that. I mean, my mother has read the book, and she goes all freaky over it with my aunt, drooling over some Mr Darcy and all." He shivered. "I´ll keep away from those books. I'm not a girl."

"You're not?" said Sirius with played amazement. 

"You know, I already expected you were going to say that," replied Remus. Lily sighed and looked at James for support. "James, help me. Say something!" 

"Like what?" James answered. "Remus, bad boy, how dare you?"

"Of course not! But… wait a sec, you got _Pride and Prejudice _in your library, right?"

"Uhm… I think so…" said James. "Why?" 

Lily got on her feet. "Back in a sec," she said, and walked off towards the house. 

"I've got a bad feeling about this," said Remus. 

"And I don't feel sorry for you," added Sirius. Remus sighed. 

"I never expected you to." He looked at James. "Have you ever read the book?"

"Lily tried to talk me into it," James answered, "and I've read the first few chapters, but never finished it." Sirius wanted to make a funny remark, but was interrupted by Lily, who returned with a leather-bound copy of…

"_Pride and Prejudice_," said Remus, reading the title of the book. "I can't believe I'm actually holding this." 

"Read us a story!" said Sirius in a squeaky voice. Remus grinned and opened the book. He cleared his throat.

"_Pride and Prejudice, _by Jane Austen," he said. "_It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife._" He looked suspiciously at James and Lily. "_A single man in possession of a large fortune…" _

"Now I see why you wanted James to read that book," said Sirius with a grin on his face. Lily looked murderous.

"James, can I please kill them?" she asked.

"What? No, of course not," said James. She stroked his face and kissed his cheek.

"Can I please, please kill them, James?" James closed his eyes, a happy smile on his face. "Of course you can."

"Hey, that's unfair!" said Sirius. 

"Yeah, we can't go stroking and kissing James' head," said Remus. James shook his head and checked his watch. "I think it's time you two leave; you're getting to smart now." 

"What time is it then?" said Lily. 

"Almost eleven o'clock," answered James, getting on his feet. "C´mon, I´ll see you guys off. The house-elves will take care of the table." 

They slowly made their way to the drive in front of the house; Remus and Sirius first, and James and Lily behind them.

"You'll never believe how I got here," said Sirius.

"On a dragon?" suggested Remus. "You developed wings? You can change yourself into a butterfly? Or have you finally passed your Apparition-test?" 

"None of those. No, you'll see it as soon as we're there," said Sirius, a mysterious smile on his face. 

"Does that involve walking as fast as James and Lily do?" said Remus, looking over his shoulder. 

"Are they still walking then?" grinned Sirius. 

"At the moment, yes," answered Remus. "Say, have you heard anything from Anne yet?" Sirius nodded.

"Yeah, I got a letter two days ago. She's in Ireland now, but she's going to America tomorrow. She wrote that Ireland isn't as green as everybody says it is." 

"It's not?"

"No, it's greener," grinned Sirius. "But basically she loved it there, and she wished she could stay there longer, but alas. And she wished I was there to see it, but…"

"It wasn't meant to be," said Remus dramatically. 

"No, indeed," grinned Sirius, looking over his shoulder again. "Oh, _please."_

"What? Did he start eating her, at last?" said Remus.

"Well, close to it…" 

"Did his parents never told him he shouldn't eat with his hands?" joked Remus. "I mean… wow!"

They'd finally reached the drive, and there, in the late evening-light, stood a shiny motorbike. It was pitch-black, with silvery details, and Remus had no doubt it was somehow enchanted.

"Is that yours?" he asked impressed.

"Yep," said Sirius cheerful. "Cool, isn't it?"

"You bet it is!" Remus walked around it, admiring it from different angles. "Does it have any special options?"

"It can fly," said Sirius casually, his hands in his pockets. "And it can be made invisible. Useful if you're flying over Muggle-towns." 

It took James and Lily ten more minutes to get to the motorbike, and all the while Remus and Sirius were discussing it. Finally, Sirius took his -black- helmet and put it on his head.

"Well, lady and gentlemen," he spoke. "I'm off. See you and good night."

He got on his motorbike and switched it on. The roaring of the engine made it almost impossible to talk.

"I got to work on that one," said Sirius loudly. "Too much noise." The other three nodded and waved. Sirius waved too, and flew off in the night. 

"A motorbike," said James, shaking his head. "I wonder what's next." 

"An apartment in London," said Remus. "With you, actually. I'm already laughing at Sirius' room."

"That's no room, that's a mess," said James dryly. Remus couldn't help but agree with him. 

"I think I must be going as well," he said. "I´d love to say, but alas…"

"Yeah, thanks for coming," said James.

"Don't mention it. I mean, who wouldn't want to swim in the Potters' duck pond?" 

A few seconds before he Apparated, Lily pressed something in his hands. 

"Here," she said. "You almost forgot this."

It was _Pride and Prejudice_… 


	15. Wedding proposal

**Quote from Jane Austen's _Pride__ & Prejudice. _****Man, I love that scene...**

**Saturday**** march 31, 1979.**

_"In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."_

The morning sun shone through the window in Sirius´ room. As James predicted it was a complete mess: the floor was covered with clothes and the table was hardly visible trough all the books and the giant cage with a big sleeping owl in it. Sirius was also hardly visible, his head covered by his blanket. He was having a lay-in, as always in weekends. James knew that and he always kept it in mind. Why was he making such a terrible noise then?! Sirius heard the sound of running water, breaking dishes and a cursing James. He lifted his head in disbelieve. James was not doing the dishes in the Muggle way, was he?

James Potter was raised in a wizard family and knew absolutely nothing about the ´normal´ way of life. Sirius, on the other hand, had a Muggle father and knew quite a lot about how to live like a Muggle. That's why James always let Sirius do the dishes.

Sirius decided he could just as well check what James was up to now he was awake. He stepped out of his bed on a book about Quidditch he borrowed 5 months ago from his friend Remus and was missing for about 4½ months. He promised himself he would clear up his room next weekend. The same promise he made last weekend and the weekend before that and the weekend before that…

When he walked into the kitchen he thought, for a moment, he was in the wrong house. Everything was clean and proper. The books were on their shelves again and all the left-over food was thrown away. James was now outside carrying a bag with, Sirius assumed, the plates and cups he had broken. He managed to find a new and clean plate and made breakfast. He took his plate into the living room, planning to eat his sandwiches in front of the television (a, in his opinion, really fantastic Muggle invention). He was just going to sit down as he heard a dangerous voice say: "you're not going to sit on that chair!" It was James, dressed like a Muggle who needed some advise on how to dress and with his hair wilder than ever.

"Er… this is my house too, you know" Sirius tried to explain. "Oh, and by the way, why are you cleaning up? Are you expecting someone I don't know about? Your mom isn't visiting us, is she?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I want to tell you. And give me that plate!"

"I barely even touched it! Now what is it you wanted to tell me? Is your mom visiting or not?"

"Well, mister want-to-know-it-all, in fact Lily er… is. And I want to ask you something, if you don't mind."

"I love your red colour and you know you can always ask me anything. Go ahead. What's on your mind?" Sirius looked at his best friend. It had to be something really important.

"Well, this is the, er, first time she coming to my house and, er, we would like to have some, er, privacy so it might be a good idea if you go and visit Peter or something like that." James said this very quickly and with a very red head.

"You're kicking me out of my own house?!"

"No, I'm not! We just want to be together for a few hours. That's all!"

"Then go to a restaurant or the Leaky Cauldron like you did before! You can be together there!"

"Sirius, please, I'm not asking much, I just want you to…" The doorbell rang. "There she is! Will you just leave, please?!" James was almost begging.

"Hm, maybe I´ll think about it. No, wait, I've got a better idea. I promise I won't be a problem", Sirius said with a rather demonic smile.

"Whatever. As long as you behave like a gentleman." James ran to the door as the doorbell rang again.

~*~

When James entered the living room again in the company of Lily Evans, the girl he liked even more than Quidditch, he was relieved to see Sirius was gone. Until he saw the big black dog which was laying on the floor. James was very sorry the hunting season for illegal-Animagi-who-can-turn-into-big-black-dogs was over, because he felt a terrible need to choke Sirius. Especially when Lily fell on her knees and started stroking the dog…

"He is so cute!" she said. "Why didn't you tell me you had a dog? I love dogs!"

"Oh, yeah, well this one doesn't really like strangers. I think you better stop patting him." The dog turned on his back and looked like he was really enjoying all the attention. Sirius wasn't going to live any longer than this day, James decided.

"Well, he seems to like me. What is his name?" Lily said.

Finally, revenge! "His name? Oh, his name is, er… Puppy!" Lily and the dog both looked at him. The both said (the dog with his eyes of course): "Puppy?!"

"Yes, Puppy. Sirius invented that name. The dog was very small when we got him and Sirius thought it sounded cute. I didn't agree with that of course but you know Sirius…" James said casually.

"O, er, right, well, sure. It does sound cute. Where is Sirius anyway?" Lily wanted to know.

"Sirius? Well, he's visiting Peter. Hey, shall we go for a walk? The weather is beautiful." As long as he was away from Sirius, everything was alright…

"Of course, that's a great idea. What'll we do with Puppy? Can we just leave him?"

"Sure. Sirius will be here any minute so he won't be alone very long."

"Okay, let's go. Bye, Puppy! It was very nice I've met you!" And Lily patted Sirius´ head again.

~*~

Two hours later they were standing for James´ house again, waiting for Lily's bus to come and take her home. They had been to St. Paul's cathedral because James had never been there before. Lily had been explaining everything and they ended their afternoon comparing the old building to Hogwarts. Now they were standing here and feeling very happy. Suddenly, James turned towards Lily.

"Lily, this must sound really stupid but I…" He fell silent.

"Yes?"

"Have you ever… No, how do you… I er…." She looked at him with her almost unbelievable green eyes. James took a deep breath.

"Will you marry me?" he almost whispered.

"James, I…." She blushed. "I would be very happy to." She kissed him and James Potter was the most happy man in the whole world.

~*~

The first thing James saw when he entered the room was Sirius Black who said with a very dangerous voice: "Puppy?!"


	16. Love and marriage

**Friday**** September 21, 1979.**

_"Black was best man when James married Lily."_

The little church was crowded with people. There were two sort of them; a few people looked just like ordinary people dressed in their best clothes. The other sort wore normal clothes too, but in a combination which made them very strange. Mr and Mrs Evans were looking at a very old man with a long silver beard and a purple sweater who was talking with a woman with square glasses and with a man who was so enormous he had to sit on two chairs. A little nervous, Lily's parents were looking around for somebody they knew except their other daughter Petunia and her husband Vernon, who were both complaining about the people here, the long journey they had to make to come here and so on. Basically they just wished to be somewhere else. Mr Evans sighed and wished he was somewhere else too, far away from those two…

A few feet away from them, Sirius was nervously checking his pockets to see if the rings were still there. James trusted them to him, promising him that, if Sirius lost them, he would personally cut him in very very small parts. Remus was standing next to him, looking interested around. They were joined by Peter, dressed in his best except for his white socks, visible under his black pair of trousers. "Hi" he said, pulling his sleeve down although it was already down. "Oh, hi" Remus replied. "Interesting building, isn't it? I've never been in such a place. A church, isn't that what muggles call it? What is it used for?"

"Well, it is used for weddings and such things" Peter explained. "But it is mainly used as a place were you can pray to God." "God? What's that?" Remus curiously wanted to know. "Will you be quiet! They're starting!" someone behind them whispered. Sirius checked his pockets for the last time and sat down.

James stepped forward on a sort of platform together with a man Sirius´ father called a priest. James had told him it was Lily's idea to marry in a church and James had no objection to it. They all turned around as the famous wedding march started to see Lily walk forward. She wore a simple white dress and seemed very happy. She joined James on the platform and the wedding began.

Sirius dreamed away a little, looking at the sun coming trough the coloured windows, when he heard the priest say: "Do you have the rings?"

"Yes". James turned around. "Sirius, the rings please!"

"Oh, yeah, I got ´em. Wait a sec…." He started searching the pockets of his coat. Remus muttered something which sounded like "left".

"What?"

Remus sighed. "Pants, left pocket."

Sirius checked and felt the familiar little box in his fingers. He handed it over to James and whispered to Remus: "Thanks".

"Any time, Padfoot" Remus whispered back.

James opened the box and took two rings out. He designed them himself: a small gold one with five star-shaped diamonds and a inscription which said: ´James Potter, 21/9/79´ for Lily and a simple gold one with the inscription ´Lily Evans, 21/9/79´ for himself. Everyone cheered as the priest declared them Mr and Mrs Potter.

~*~

After the big feast everybody went outside to make photos. There were two photographers; a long man who was clearly a Muggle and a little man dressed in a light green suit and with a big camera. The little man gestured them all to come closer. "Come, come" he said, "shall we do the Muggles first?" "Muggles?" Lily's old grandma asked. "What is a Muggles?" "Er…" stuttered the photographer, reading from everybody's face that he had clearly said something stupid. "Do you know what a Muggles is?" the old Mrs Evans asked Dumbledore who was standing next to her. Dumbledore muttered something and waved a little with his hand. Grandma fell silent.

"Well", Dumbledore said, "let's do the Evans first, shall we not?" He beckoned the Muggle-photographer to come closer. All the Evans and James smiled as the photographer shoot the pictures. When they were done it was the wizard-photographer's turn. It was pretty crowded with so many people, especially because everybody wanted to be on the picture with Dumbledore and because Hagrid took so much space. Finally, everybody was crammed onto the picture. "Now a last picture with the couple and their best man!" the photo-shooter said. James, Lily and Sirius took in the right positions, smiled and coughed because of the smoke that erupted from the magical camera.

After the photos it was time for James and Lily to go on their honeymoon. Everybody cheered, waved and there were lots of goodbyes and have funs as the car drove away.

Sirius waved until he couldn't see them anymore. When he turned around to get his coat to get home he walked into Remus. Their heads painfully hit each other.

"Ouch!"

"Ouch! Watch where you're walking!"

"Sorry Remus" Sirius said, rubbing his head. "What're you doing?"

"I was going to say goodbye, ´cause you're probably not going to see me for a couple of weeks."

"What?!" Sirius said with his mouth open. "Where're you going? What are you going to do? Study Dark Arts somewhere else?"

"Well, yes. I'm going to the Netherlands now. I've heard something about so-called ´Witte Wieven´ or White Women if you translate it. They're spirits I believe and I want to know more about them." Remus said this with a dreamy look in his eyes, clearly looking forward to it.

"Now, have fun with your women then. Guess I'm alone now for the upcoming two weeks. Or I´ll just go and irritate Peter for two weeks. Yeah, that might be a good idea!"

"Please, behave yourself!" Remus said laughing. "Oh, and do me a favour and send me the photos of the wedding will you."

"Sure, I´ll do that." Sirius checked his watch. His bus was leaving in 5 minutes. "Sorry Remus, but I gotta go. Have fun and everything and send me a cart will you?"

He slammed Remus on his shoulder, laughed at his friends painful face and sprinted away to the busstation.


	17. Visiting the Netherlands

**A little (uhm...) homage to my own little country... Some Dutch talking in this, but nothing important to the plot, so don't bother yourself with wondering what the h*ll they're saying, **

**Also some cameo's in this: the people at the airport Remus nearly walks into are my parents (yay!), little Eric and his mother are actually the brother and mother of one of my best friends (yay again!) and mr and mrs Raben are more or less the grandparents of a math teacher at my old school (yep, that's Timo) who looks like Remus does in my head, so he hád to be in this fict! **

**Question for Ivy Crane (if you're still reading this): what does "Lupus Corpus et Animus!" mean? You said it in your review, but alas, my Latin is... not so good.**

**Anyway, new chapter! Review, please!**

**September 1979.**

_"Denkend aan Holland zie ik brede rivieren,_

_traag__ door oneindig laagland gaan…"_

Remus peeked through the tiny window to the clouds outside. He tried to move his feet, but could hardly do it; the Muggle aeroplane didn't allow him much space. It gave him a claustrophobic feeling. 

A prickling feeling told him his feet were sleeping, but he had to endure it and wait till they were landed. He sighed and concentrated on his book again.

A few minutes later, someone tapped on his shoulder. 

"Excuse me," a brown-haired woman in a blue uniform said. "Would you please fasten your seatbelts? We'll be landing in about ten minutes." 

"Yeah, sure," he nodded. She smiled at him and continued telling people to fasten their seatbelts. Remus frowned, and concentrated on the problem of his seatbelts.

What was the problem with those things anyway? You had two ends, and you should be able to click them together. At least, every Muggle seemed to be able to do it…

Remus fought a heavy battle with his belts, and, to his relief, he finally heard a soft click. He put his book away, and rested his head against the head rest of his chair. He concentrated on the people around him, sharpening his ears.

Of course, he shouldn't be doing this, but sometimes it was fun. And he wouldn't be able to understand the people around him for more than two weeks anyway. 

The first thing he heard was the stewardess telling someone to fasten his seatbelts. Everywhere around him, he heard the familiar click. In the last row, a man was snoring in his sleep; the stewardess had not yet reached him. 

English mixed with incomprehensible Dutch; Remus had the feeling his head was spinning. Suddenly, he received a deep man's voice, who was having a very odd conversation…

"Stupid Muggles," the man growled. "If I wanted to feel like a sardine in it's tin, I would've learned to be an Animagus." 

"Now, now," hushed a woman's voice. "It's just because Apparating at such a distance is not quite safe. And we'll be there soon."

Remus lifted his head and turned around in his chair, to the place where the voices were coming from. A few rows behind him, a rather large man was pressed in a chair, and he was looking very uncomfortable indeed. A shorter woman with blond curly hair was sitting next to him, patting his hand in a comforting gesture. Remus tuned in to them.

"… quite a happening, taking a Muggle aeroplane, isn't it?" said the woman. "See it as an adventure, something fun."

"I'm not having fun when I'm squeezed in a chair," said the man darkly. He looked up and saw Remus looking at him. The man gave him an angry look.

"There's a Muggle staring at us," he told the woman. Remus turned around, just as she saw him.

"You think he heard us?" she asked her husband.

"From such a distance? Hardly," he replied. Remus smiled to himself.

~*~

The aeroplane landed at Schiphol Airport, near Amsterdam. He picked up his suitcase – a new one, bought only a week ago – and tried to find a way to get to Amsterdam. _That shouldn't be so difficult_, he thought. If only this airport wasn't so crowded…

He craned his neck and scanned the surroundings for perhaps a station or a taxi. He was so busy searching that he didn't notice where he was going, and almost walked into a young woman, only a few years older than he was, with glasses. She had blond hair and was carrying a suitcase too. She was accompanied by a taller man with dark hair.

Oh, sorry," she said. "Ik keek niet uit waar ik liep." He blinked. He couldn't understand a word of what she was saying, but he did understand that she was sorry. 

"Never mind," he said quickly. "It's okay." She seemed a bit uncertain, but then realised he didn't mind. She apologised again and disappeared in the crowd. 

He shook his head and continued his way. After about ten minutes he saw a sign with "Taxi" on it, and he took the heavy challenge upon himself of finding out how Muggle taxis work.

~*~ 

Remus had allowed himself one week free before he started the practical part of his self-study, and in that week he tried to travel through the whole Netherlands. That tiny land, however, proved to be too big to see everything of it in one week. The capital city, Amsterdam, appeared to be an adventure of its own, and there was more. Remus travelled from city to village. He had the most fun in an old city called Oudewater, where the so called "Heksenwaag" was situated. A giant scale, used in the middle ages to weigh people to see if they were witches or wizards. It was said that witches weighed almost nothing, to be able to fly on their broom. For the fun of it, Remus took the test himself, and was highly amused when it turned out that he couldn't possibly be a wizard. The feeling of his wand in his pocket told him otherwise, but he didn't dare tell the Muggle behind the counter.

After that one week of travelling around, he got on the train to meet the wizard at who's house he was going to stay for the two upcoming weeks. Staring out of the window to the flat and broad Dutch landscapes, he occasionally touched his eyebrows, feeling the small stubbles. He'd felt really stupid that morning, shaving the bridge of his nose, and he still doubted if it was a good thing to do. It did make him look more normal, though. But perhaps he was the only person who constantly noticed his -seemingly- single eyebrow, every time he saw his reflection in the mirror.

A nervous feeling made his stomach turn. He felt like he was on the train to Hogwarts again, but this time there were no James or Sirius to distract him. For a few moments, he wondered what James and Lily were doing. They were probably together, laying on a beach that looked like an advertisement for a travelling agency or something. 

The train slowed down, and he took his suitcase and got out. Somehow, he managed to find his way to the centre of the city, to an old church, where he was supposed to meet his first teacher.

It was market day on the square in front of the church, so it was pretty crowded. Remus found a bench to sit on, and took the letter out of the pocket of his Muggle-coat. 

_"Meet me a twelve o'clock in front of Saint Michael's church in Zwolle" _it said. That was here. He folded the letter up again and put it in his pocket. Then he looked up at the church, wondering where the tower was. Churches usually had a tower, right?

He suddenly noticed someone was standing at his right side. He turned his head, but there was no one. Then he felt something near his leg. He looked down, and saw a small boy of maybe five years staring up at him with large brown eyes. The hair on his head was pitch-black. 

"Hello," Remus said. The boy didn't reply. Suddenly, a short woman appeared, taking the little boy's hand.

"Eric, wat zei ik nou? Bij mama blijven!" she said. Remus wished he'd taken a few "how to say it in Dutch"lessons, because he didn't understand a word of what she was saying. She looked up at him (she was really, _really short) and said something of which he only understand something that sounded like "sorry". He nodded and smiled, like he understood what she was saying. Then she left, little Eric next to her, his little hand in her own hand. _

Remus sat down again, just waiting. He looked around, and saw a slender man looking at him. He had white hair, and was not much taller than Remus. He appeared to be looking for someone as well. 

Although there was just a minor chance that he was looking for Remus, Remus decided he could just as well ask if this was the person he was supposed to meet. He got up and approached the man.

"Excuse me," he said politely, "but are you looking for someone?"

"Are you Remus Lupin?" the man asked in return. His English was perfect.

"Yes, are you mister Raben?" asked Remus, taking the letter out of his pocket again.

"Yeah, that's me," the man answered, nodding as he saw the letter. "Now, if you'd come this way…" He gestured for Remus to follow him, and stopped a few minutes later near a ordinary Muggle car.

"It's better not to draw too much attention, so we have to travel by car," he explained. The two of them got in, Remus' suitcase in the trunk, and drove off, Mr Raben behind the steering wheel.

~*~

Mr and Mrs Raben lived in the middle of a forest, in a piece of the Netherlands called "de Veluwe", something Remus never managed to pronounce properly. It was so peaceful and quiet that one morning, when he'd got out of bed and looked out of the window, Remus saw a group of deer standing in the backyard. 

Mr Raben himself was equally quiet, but his wife seemed to think this obliged her to compensate her husband, and almost talked Remus' ears off his head. Her favourite subject was their grandson Timo, who apparently turned one year a few weeks ago, and she kept on talking about him, how sweet he was with his blue eyes, his brown hair, etc. Every time Remus got outside with her husband, it almost felt like an escape.

He soon learned that the most important quality of someone experienced in the Dark Arts, beside not being afraid of the creatures you're facing, was patience. He spent was seemed like hours and hours waiting for the Witte Wieven to appear. According to his mentor, autumn, winter and early spring were the best periods to study them. 

"Muggles think they're just bits of fog," he'd said once, "but that is not true. They're spirits of women that lived here. They just like fog, to disappear in, and they have the most fun when they've lured someone into getting lost."

"Like a Hinkypunk," said Remus.

"Indeed. And like all dark creatures, they hope the lost person never finds his way out of the woods again." 

In the last few days of Remus' stay, at the end of September and the beginning of October, as it got colder, it frequently happened that there was fog in the morning, and they managed to see some Witte Wieven. They looked like women, beautiful but sad women, and they tried to talk Remus and Mr Raben into following them into the mist. They knew better than to do that, however. 

~*~

On the evening before Remus was going home again, Mrs Raben thought it necessary to make some kind of feast, almost as if they were celebrating they were rid of Remus again. There were candles on the table, fine china dinner service, and apparently the best cutlery. 

Remus absentmindedly picked up his fork, and immediately dropped it when he felt the burning. It was like he'd picked up a burning poker. He looked at the palm of his hand, and saw a long red mark.

Silver.

He looked up, and his eyes met those of Mr Raben, on the other side of the table.

"I suspected as much," he said. 

Remus suprised himself with his panic. He suddenly broke into a cold sweat, and his heart felt as if it had started running a marathon. _They knew._

"Er… what do you mean?" he said hypocritically. His host snorted. 

"The silver fork, that's what I mean."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Remus lied, his heart pounding. 

"Then pick up your fork again," said Mr Raben. His wife was silently watching them.

Remus hesitated. He could pick up the fork again, and burn the skin off his hands, or he could confess he was what they obviously already knew he was; a werewolf.

"How did you find out?" he asked, thus confirming their suppositions.

"Oh, c´mon son," said Mr Raben. "I'm specialised in the Dark Arts. Did you really think I wouldn't recognise one of the Lonely Ones? I expect that's why you're leaving tomorrow?" 

"How…" said Remus faintly.

"Various things," said the old man, while his wife quickly changed Remus' cutlery for an ordinary knife, fork and spoon. "For example your yellowish eyes, the extraordinary amount of hair on your arms, the fact that you shave the bridge of your nose." Remus unintentionally rubbed the bridge of his nose. 

"And now I have a question for you. Why?"

"Why what?" Remus asked dully.

"Why did you come here?"

"Because I wanted to study the Dark Arts, but the University didn't accept me, because, well, you know…" 

"And then?"

"And then my mother suggested I could teach myself from books, and travelling around. That's how I ended up here."

"And why didn't you tell us before?" Raben asked, meanwhile indicating that they should all start eating.

"Because I was afraid you would hate me," Remus confessed. "Only a few people know what I am, and even fewer have accepted it."

"Your family and friends?" 

"My friends know, the few I have anyway. My parents have accepted it, my brother doesn't know better, to him I've always been… a werewolf. But my aunt, for example, doesn't want me to stay over for a single night, not even when it's a new moon."

Both Mr and Mrs Raben nodded. "I see…"

"Why didn't you tell me before that you knew?" asked Remus after a few minutes of silence. 

"Because we admired your courage of coming here, even though most people would be frightened of you as soon as they found out the truth," said Mrs Raben. "And because we hoped-"

"Against better judgement," muttered her husband.

"- that we were wrong, that you weren't a werewolf," she finished. 

"But you were right," said Remus. 

"It doesn't matter anymore," Mr Raben cut in. "You'll be leaving tomorrow anyway." His voice seemed to have obtained a steely edge that hadn't been there before. Apparently, he wasn't very fond of werewolves. He might even have a tiny dislike for them, as Sirius probably would have put it. Remus nodded, and they passed the rest of the evening in tense silence, that was only broken by polite phrases, and Mrs Raben's empty chatter.

~*~

The next day, his host and teacher for the past two weeks saw him off on the train, and then left, apparently glad to be rid of Remus. Remus shrugged, being equally as happy to go home again. He sat down in a corner of a compartment, and looked out of the window, listening to the rhythm of the train. His mind went over the events of the past three weeks, what he'd seen and done. This trip had turned out well, in almost every way possible. What would be next?

He smiled, closed his eyes. Whatever it was, he'd live through it.


	18. Christmas

**Christmas**** 1979.**

_"O holy night, the stars are brightly shining…"_

The lights in the Christmas tree were reflected in the two yellow eyes with round pupils. He extended his neck, and his nose touched the green needles of the fir-tree. He sniffed the wonderful scent of the tree. Delicious. Where did they get this thing? 

Holding his head low, he walked under the tree, his grey ears brushing the bottom branches of the tree, making the scent even deeper. In the end, he almost drowned in it. 

A soft glimmering at his left caught his attention. He turned his head. A small silver coloured ball was attached to one of the lower branches. He got closer to it. To his shock, he saw another one, just like him, _inside__ the ball. He got even closer, his nose almost to the ball, looking into the other one's eyes, wondering what could've happened._

Lily picked up the silvery cat, and carried it away from the Christmas tree, away from the balls and decoration that had fascinated the animal. The cat gave one longing look to the tree, and then shifted his attention to something else. 

Lily walked into the kitchen, the cat still in her arms, to James, who was stirring the Christmas soup. Lily put the cat down, who immediately started walking around the kitchen.

"The Christmas tree again?" James asked.

"Yeah, this time it was one of the silver coloured ones," said Lily, taking the spoon from James, and stirring the soup herself, to check if it was ready. "This seems good."

"The table is set?" James asked, while he rolled his sleeves down.

"Yep, set for five," replied Lily. "The only thing we need now are the guests."

The doorbell rang.

"Speak of the devil," said James, who went to open the door.

~*~

Sirius watched his breath come out of his mouth in little clouds. Like smoking without a cigarette, he thought, or like the Hogwarts Express. He shivered, and rang the bell again. 

"Are we impatient today?" said James, opening the door. Sirius quickly got inside, to the warmth. 

"No, just freezing," he said. He peeled his gloves, cloak and scarf off, and hung them on a peg on the wall.

"Black again?" said James, seeing Sirius' ink-black clothes. Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Like I said to Remus, black looks good on me."

"Like I remember everything you say to Remus," answered James.

"Maybe now´s the time to start doing so. What if, over twenty years, my children ask you what I said when you saw I had black clothes, and you go like "er…". Pretty stupid action, if you ask me," said Sirius seriously, while following James to the sitting room.

"Yeah, right, whatever," replied James absentmindedly. 

"'Yeah, right, whatever'? Is that the vocabulary of young people nowadays?" said Sirius with played indignation. "My, young James, I say, people don't pay attention to how they express themselves anymore. When I was your age…"

"Has anyone ever told you you talk like your own grandmother?" James interrupted. 

"No, cause my granny talks like this," said Sirius, and continued in a creaky voice: "Sirius, when do you get yourself a good wife, and a decent job, and get rid of that horrible motorbike, and…"

"Okay, we get the idea!" said Lily laughing. "Hi Sirius."

"Hi Lil," Sirius greeted her. "Oh, food!" 

"Wait until Peter and Remus are here," warned James. "That won't be long."

~*~

"So typical, he greeted me, and the next thing he said was food," Lily told Remus. 

"That's the only thing he can think of," Remus whispered loudly. "Women and food."

"Remus, would you mind not talking about me? At least when I'm not present," said Sirius, who sat next to Remus, and heard every word.

"Can't we even talk about your giant intellect, and your good nature, and how stunning you look in black?" inquired Lily.

"Those, of course, are subjects which can't be discussed often enough," answered Sirius. 

"Warning," muttered James. "Taking over Sirius' ego can cause serious problems to your head. It might be too small for it, and then explode." Everybody grinned, even Sirius. 

"Anyone want some more mashed potatoes?" asked Lily, holding the dish up. 

"No thanks, not me," said Remus. "I'm stuffed."

"Me too," said Sirius.

"Beuh." That was Peter. 

"No one then," said James, removing the dish from the table. "I hope you still have some space left for desert."

"Depends on the desert," said Sirius. Remus agreed.

"Ice with chocolate and whipped cream?" said Lily.

"Perfect," agreed both Remus and Sirius. James and Lily went to the kitchen and came back with five cups with ice, and a lot of chocolate sauce and cream. A few minutes passed in silence, as everybody enjoyed the desserts. Finally they'd eaten it all, and sat back to relax. The grey cat saw his chance and jumped on the table. He started to lick the cups clean, and neither of them bothered to get him off the table again. Peter yawned. 

"Tired?" asked Sirius, sounding a bit dull. Peter shook his head.

"You still got some wine, Sirius," pointed James.

"No pointing in company, James," said Sirius, as he picked up his glass.

"It's no whispering in company," corrected Remus. "And no pointing in general. What's the use of pointing anyway if you're all alone?"

"True," agreed James. 

"And what's the point in whispering when you're all alone?" said Sirius. 

"Hm, hm," answered James vaguely.

"Did anyone notice we're talking about nothing?" asked Remus.

"Oh, are we?" answered Sirius. "Anyone got an interesting topic then?"

"Yes, I got an announcement," said James, sitting right up again.

"James! You're getting married!" said Sirius.

"Sirius! You're getting killed by James!" added Remus. 

"He doesn't have to announce that. That was already a given," said Sirius.

"It's neither of those," said James. "I just wanted to announce that, next year, there will be six of us."

Silence. 

"Meaning exactly what?" inquired Remus finally.

"Meaning that I'm pregnant," said Lily cheerfully.

Sirius disappeared coughing under the table.

~*~

"I have been suspecting it for a long time," said James, "but now I know for certain, that Sirius Black can't do anything in a normal way."

"Like you can," said Sirius, sitting in a chair. "'Hohoho, merry Christmas, and by the way, my wife is pregnant'."

"But it's great news," said Remus, his arm around Lily. "When can I welcome this new Potter?" 

"Next summer," said Lily. "End of July."


	19. Harry James Potter

**Thursday July 31, 1980.**

"Then James and Lily named Sirius Godfather to Harry."

It was 2 o'clock in the morning when James and Sirius sat waiting in a Muggle-hospital somewhere in England. Sirius was laying on a few chairs, reading Lord of the Rings, while James at next to him, nervously biting his nails and the tops of his fingers. He had called Sirius because he couldn't stand waiting alone in the waiting-room while Lily was giving birth to their first child (the doctor kicked him out of the room because he couldn't stand James standing in the way). Sirius wasn't al to happy to come, he was sleeping of course, but somehow James convinced him to come over. They had been waiting for two hours and still nothing had happened.

Sirius swung his feet from the chair. "Do you want some coffee?" he asked James. "It'll keep us awake."

"Yeah, whatever" James replied.

When Sirius had walked away to get some coffee, a nurse came walking by. James jumped to his feet.

"Excuse me, but to do you know… er… Mrs Potter, will it take long?" he asked.

"And you might be…?" she asked frowning. James felt like he was talking to professor McGonagall.

"The father – husband I mean" he replied.

"First born children always take longer. I expect half an hour. I don't have time to talk." And away she was.

James sat down again and picked up Lord of the Rings. He could remember hour-long discussions between Sirius and Remus, Sirius defending the new fantasy-books and  Remus defending the old classics like Shakespeare which he liked so much. On one evening on James´ birthday Lily had joined the discussion, saying books from Jane Austen were thé books to read. Everybody laughed at her, especially Remus. "They might be classics", he said, "but there's no way I'm going to read them. They're books for women." Lily talked him into reading one ("You'll never know when you never try!") and know he liked them very much, although he hadn't much time to read.

Sirius returned with two steaming hot cups of coffee. The cups were made of plastic, but this didn't seemed to bother Sirius. There were two possibilities, thought James; or Sirius hands were numb, or he used a clever cooling-down spell. Sirius handed over the coffee.

"What was it again, never draw Muggle attention?" James asked. Unfortunately, the ´McGonagall´-nurse walked by and she looked very suspiciously when he said ´Muggle´.

"Yeah James, how dare you! You know what they say: never draw Muggle attention!" Sirius cleverly replied.

"I hate you." James took a nip from his coffee. They sat silent for a moment, then Sirius said: "James, what are we doing here?"

"Waiting for my child to be born, idiot" said James, taking another nip from his coffee.

"Duh, I know that! But why in a Muggle-hospital?"

"So we won't draw wizard attention. It could be dangerous for us, with Voldemort, you know who I mean, looking for us."

"Hiding for muggles, hiding for wizards, who can you meet?! And what is this Voldemort-looking-for-you-stuff? It hasn't got anything to do with that stupid prediction from Trelawney, has it?" And when James nodded: "No, please! You don't believe that stuff, do you?"

"Dumbledore has been tracking the Potters down to the middle-ages and it is very likely we are the last descendants from Griffindor."

"Okay, but it sounds so very stupid." Sirius set up an high-pitched voice. "`The heir of Griffindor will defeat the heir of Slytherin, who will not be defeated´. That's a silly part, someone cannot be defeated and not be defeated. And then that servant-part: `the servant who is not the servant will be captured, while the servant will seek revenche´. Do you get it? I…" He fell silent when they both heard a  baby cry. James went slightly pale when a doctor walked out of the room where Lily was.

The doctor stretched out his hand: "Mr Potter? Congratulations, you have a wonderful son." James did not move. "A son", he muttered. Then, without saying anything to anyone, he ran into the room, to Lily and his child.

Sirius and the doctor looked at each other. "Er… I'm sorry. This is his first born" said Sirius.  "Oh, not to worry, I'm used to that" the doctor laughed.

"Oh, well, er… excuse me, I think I´ll take a look at the baby too."

When Sirius walked into the room he saw this: Lily Potter was laying on a bed, looking very tired and very happy. James sat next to her, holding a tiny baby with wild black hair. Sirius just stood there watching this little family. He was suddenly very jealous at James…

After a few minutes, Lily discovered him. She said: "Sirius! I didn't knew you were here! Come in! James, show him our son!"

James handed the baby over to Sirius. He was rather small, even for a baby, and had black hair. He turned his head to Sirius and looked him right in the eyes. "He is fantastic " said Sirius. "How´re you going to name him?"

"Harry James Potter" James said proud.

"That's a nice name." Sirius handed Harry over to Lily again. She slowly fell asleep with little Harry in her arms. 

When the morning sun shone trough the window, Sirius stood up. "I hate to say it, but I've got my work to go to. I guess I´ll see you later."

"Yeah, see ya. Oh, and Sirius?" Sirius was already at the door, but turned around. "Would you be Harry's godfather? He needs one and I think you would be a good godfather" James asked.

Sirius stood there like he was frozen. Finally, he said: "I would be very honoured, and will try my very best to be a very good godfather."

"Then give a good example and go to work. I´ll see you later."

When Sirius was gone, James looked at his son again. In his mind, he could almost see the great things he would do. "Harry James Potter" he muttered, "you are very special. Maybe because you're going to do special things, but first of all because you're my son." 

He checked his watch and concluded that half past 5 in the morning was a little early to inform the grandparents. He yawned. Maybe some sleep would be nice now. He rested his head on his arms. Just a few hours… He fell asleep.

James Potter slept with his head at the feet of his son, little Harry Potter. 


	20. Things get serious

**May, 1981.**

_"Dumbledore had suspected for some time that someone on our side had turned traitor and was passing a lot of information to You-Know-Who."_

The great barn owl dived down until it was soaring low above the trees. The young green leaves nearly touched the parchment letter that was in the bird's paw, but then the animal rose again, slowly moving his wings, flying towards the small town near the edge of the forest. 

It was quiet on the streets on this early Thursday morning. A few early workers stepped into their cars, on their way to another day that looked like yesterday and the day before that. None of them noticed the owl flying over, a letter with a black crest on it clenched in its paw. The crest showed a "H", surrounded by a lion, a snake, a badger and an eagle. 

The owl dived down until it flew low over the gardens, to the end of a street. There it soared up again, spreading its claws. The letter flew through the air, in the direction of the door. It was aimed perfectly, and slipped almost silently in the mailbox.

The owl hooted contentedly and flew away.

~*~

Lily bowed down and picked up the paper and various letters lying on the door-mat. She absentmindedly checked them while walking back to the kitchen. The _Daily Prophet_, a letter from Sirius, a letter from James's parents, two bills. She stopped and frowned when she saw the parchment letter with the Hogwarts crest. The crest meant a letter from Dumbledore. Why would he be writing them? 

She entered the kitchen where James was sitting, still in his pyjamas, trying to persuade little Harry to eat his porridge. 

"Here's the mail," said Lily, throwing the letters on the table. "There's a letter from Dumbledore."

"Dumbledore? Why would he be writing us?" asked James, picking up the letter and opening it. His eyes quickly moved from left to right as he read Dumbledore´s curly handwriting.

"What does he write?" Lily curiously wanted to know.

"He wished to see me," answered James. "Just me."

"Fine," said Lily. "We don't want you anyway." Harry stretched out his arms and his mother picked him up. "We're going to the playground today, aren't we, Harry?" 

"So I'm unwanted?" said James, a sad expression on his face.

"Highly unwanted," agreed Lily, and she stroked with her hand through his hair as a loving gesture, making it wilder than it already was.

~*~

James walked up the stone steps leading up to the large oak doors of Hogwarts castle. He pushed one of the doors open and went inside, and up the large marble staircase. Memories came back to him when he walked through the familiar corridors with their many moving paintings. Finally, he reached the door to Dumbledore´s office. He reached in his pocket, and took out the letter, in which the password was written.

"Fizzing Whizzbees." 

The door opened and he got inside, up the stairs, until he reached the door. He knocked, and Dumbledore answered. James got inside.

"Goodmorning, professor." Dumbledore merely nodded as a reply. He turned away from the window, and walked over to his desk, on which a stone Pensieve was standing, its silvery content spinning. He looked more grave than usual.

"Is anything the matter?" asked James with a feeling of unease. Dumbledore sighed barely audible. 

"There is no easy way to say this…" he began. James grabbed the back of a chair.

"Sir?"

"James, your parents are dead."

James' knuckles went white and his nails dug in the carved wood of the chair. He closed his eyes and swallowed heavily, his jaws pressed together. Finally, he said, with some effort: "but how? I got a letter from them this morning, saying they were all right…"

"What date was on that letter?" asked Dumbledore friendly.

"Yesterday… o God…" James collapsed on the chair, his head in his hands, tears running down his face. "Voldemort?"

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes. According to what I have heard, Voldemort attacked them yesterday evening, just after sunset. Somehow, he must've heard where they were." 

"But how?" whispered James. "How? Who knew, except the members of the Order?"

"Are you sure you haven't told anyone else, perhaps even by accident?" said the old Headmaster.

"No! I'm not foolish enough to do that," replied James. "I wouldn't reveal their hidingplace, never."

"Then who did?" muttered Dumbledore, taking his seat behind his desk. "Who told Voldemort where they were?" James did not reply, and the two men sat silently for a few minutes. Finally, James broke the silence.

"So I'm the only one left?" he said. 

"You and Harry, yes. You are the only Potters left," agreed Dumbledore. 

"That damn prophecy," muttered James, rubbing his forehead. 

"There is a more practical matter," said Dumbledore carefully. "Their funeral…"

"We have a familygrave," answered James. "They wanted to be buried there."

"I will take care of that," promised Dumbledore. "You should get home."

~*~

Lily had just arrived home with Harry when James Apparated in the backyard. She could read from his expression that there was something terribly wrong. She put Harry down and walked to her husband.

"What's the matter?" she asked. "James, what is it?" 

James seemed to wake up from a deep sleep. "God, Lily, he killed them," he stammered. "Voldemort killed my parents." 

Lily put her arms around him and he buried his face in her shoulder while silent tears ran down his cheeks.

~*~

"Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust."

The cheerful singing of the birds in the trees contrasted shrilly with the grave silence on the ground. only the voice of Dumbledore could be heard. Even Harry, in the arms of his mother, sensed that something serious was going on, and he was unusually quiet. 

"It's unbelievable," whispered Sirius. He and Remus stood some distance away from the rather large group of people who'd come to the funeral of the elder Mr and Mrs Potter. 

"Unbelievable, but all to true," said Remus. 

"I always thought James' parents were going to live forever," continued Sirius. "Well, not really live forever, but, you know, that it would seem as if they'd always be there."

"And now they're dead," said Remus. Sirius nodded silently.

"I feel sorry for James," he said. "He lost both his mother and father at the same moment."

Remus looked at his other best friend. James looked tired and pale, his paleness standing out even more against his black clothes. His eyes were red, and there were bags under them, as if he hadn't slept those past nights. And, thought Remus, he probably hadn't. 

"If I ever get my hands on the one who betrayed them," muttered Sirius. "I´ll kill him, I swear."

"Better do it quick then," said Remus, "before James does it."

Peter, standing not so far away from them, swallowed.

~*~

Nervous chatter filled the small chamber in Hogwarts. About a dozen or so people were assembled there, forming the Order of the Phoenix. The Order was a group of wizards fighting evil. The history of the Order dated from the founders of Hogwarts, and every time there was evil to be fought, the Order was formed again, like a phoenix being reborn from the ashes. 

Sirius fiddled aimlessly with the tablecloth, waiting for Dumbledore to open the meeting. The tension among the members of the Order was great. Everybody knew of the Potters, how they were found by Voldemort, even though they'd been well hidden. There had to be a traitor in their midst. The question was, who was it?

Dumbledore finished his conversation with professor McGonagall, and he got on his feet. He cleared his throat. 

"Dear assembled," he said. "I welcome you on this meeting. The date is May thirteen, 1981." An enchanted quill started skating over a piece of parchment, writing down every word Dumbledore spoke. 

"Members of the Order of the Phoenix," the old Headmaster continued. "I am afraid things aren't going as we'd hoped. According to my spies, Voldemort is gaining more and more strength. There is no need to remind you of the tragic events that happened to Christopher and Jane Potter." The expression on Dumbledore´s face hardened. "There were only a few ones that knew of their hiding place. One of them must've told Voldemort." 

"Albus," said Arabella Figg, an older woman Sirius didn't know very well. "You don't seriously think that one of us is passing information to You-Know-Who?"

"That is so far-fetched I would never´ve thought of it," added Remus. The other members agreed. Peter was nervously smiling and nodding. _He must be double scared_, thought Sirius. _Peter was never very brave. _

"Are you sure it is someone of us?" inquired James. He hadn't said anything until now. He was holding Harry on his lap; he and Lily rarely left the little boy alone now.

"Y-yes, can't… can't it be someone else?" stuttered Peter. The corners of his mouth twitched nervously. 

"There could be another," said Dumbledore, absentmindedly pulling his long grey beard as he was lost in thought. "But I doubt that he…"

"I don't want to be rude," interrupted Alastor Moody, a famous Auror and a close friend of Dumbledore, "but I actually see no use in guessing who might have betrayed them. I think, in my very personal opinion, that we should concentrate on how to protect the people we have left."

The members of the Order looked at each other. He did have a point.

"Okay then," said Dumbledore finally. "Here's what we can do…"


	21. Birthdays, again

**July, 1981.**

_"Happy birthday to him, happy birthday to him, happy birthday dear Harry…"_

The telephone rang.

Remus peeked over the edge of his book, his eyes suspiciously fixed on the noisy object. His mother appeared in the door.

"Oh, good, the telephone works," she said. "Come on, answer it!" She gestured encouragingly at Remus. He looked doubtful.

"Are you sure? I mean, how does that thing work?"

"It's easy," she replied, walking over to the telephone, which was still ringing. "You just pick up the receiver and say your name." She looked very uncertain, however.

Remus stretched out his hand and carefully picked up the receiver. He held it next to his ear. "Hello?"

He almost jumped when he heard James's voice. "Hi!"

"Oh, er, hi."

"You finally gave in to the Muggle habit of calling?"

"What?" said Remus dully. "Calling?"

"Never mind," said James quickly. "I actually wanted to invite you."

"For what?"

"Well, you see, next Friday is Harry's birthday, and we wanted to combine it with mine, because that's easier. So, I don't know if that's possible for you…"

"Sure," answered Remus. "Count me in. I´ll be the first to come."  

"That's exactly what Sirius said."

"Trust me, I´ll be the first."

"As long as you don't come before six o'clock," warned James. "And bring a nice present for Harry."

"Sure," promised Remus. "I will."

"Okay then, see you next Friday."

"Yes, see you then."

"Oh, and Remus? About that present…"

"Hm?"

"Babies don't like books."

~*~

_July 31._

A man appeared at the end of the street. The early morning sun shone just over the top of the trees, on his light-brown hair and his green cloak. The man checked his watch. One minute past six. He started walking in the direction of a house on the corner of the street, but suddenly stopped when he saw the motorbike standing in front of the house. He groaned softly and ran the last few meters to the door. He rang the doorbell.

"I so hate both of you," said James when he'd opened the door.

"And a goodmorning to you too," replied Remus cheerfully as he stepped inside.

"Morning?" said James, running his fingers through his wild hair. "It's hardly morning!"

"Where's Sirius?" inquired Remus, pulling his cloak off.

"In the garden. I was just about to bury his corpse," said James sarcastically. 

"Aw, poor Harry," said Remus, not impressed by James' bad mood. "Now he'll never get a present from his Godfather."

"I will be lucky if Harry is still sleeping," muttered James. "With you two idiots ringing the doorbell at such a ridiculous time." He waved in the direction of the kitchen. "You'll probably find Sirius there, making himself coffee. Amuse yourself." 

Remus watched his friend walked sleepily up the stairs, then he entered the kitchen. Sirius was stirring his steaming coffee, looking thoroughly pleased with himself.

"So," he said, "I turned out to be faster than you!"

"At what time did you arrive?" asked Remus, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"About one minute before six," answered Sirius. "James made me wait outside for a whole minute, saying he told me to come _after six o'clock." He sighed. "He wasn't even happy to see me."_

"Gee, I wonder why," said Remus innocently. Sirius grinned.

~*~ 

The _Daily Prophet_, bread, eggs, orange juice, coffee, tea, porridge for Harry, and a pile of presents. Those were the ingredients for their breakfast. 

Sirius watched in amazement how Remus ate eight slices of breath with cheese and bacon, a scrambled egg, and drank two glasses of orange juice.

"Apparently I've forgotten how much you eat," he said. Remus looked slightly embarrassed. 

"I can't help it," he replied softly. "It's full moon in six days…" They all looked down at their plates.

The silence was broken by Harry who apparently thought it necessary to swing his spoon in the air. Lily cried out and she quickly got up and took the spoon from Harry's hands. James, seeing the longing look in Sirius' eyes, said: "No. Don't even think about it!"

"I can't do anything here," muttered Sirius sadly. Remus shook his head.

"You weren't really going to do it, were you?"

"Maybe I was…" said Sirius. "And maybe I wasn't." 

"You're insane," concluded Remus.

"Yeah, Remus, I love you too," said Sirius. 

Remus pretended he shivered in disgust. "Eeeeew…"

~*~

A few hours later, all the preparations for the birthdayparty were made. A long wooden table was set in the garden with various dishes on it. Sirius and Lily were hanging the last lampoons in the trees. They would be lit when it was getting darker.

"It's actually a good thing that you came so early," commented James.

"Why now?" sighed Remus.

"Well, now we can use you as our servants."

"Oh, right, use us as your slaves, what else are friends for?" replied Remus.

"I did not say slaves, but if you so desperately want to be one, I won't stop you," said James, picking up Harry who was crawling through the grass with the toy wand Sirius gave him in his small hand. Harry waved the wand around him and finally put it in his mouth. Remus noticed that his blue eyes were now turning into Lily's amazingly green ones. 

"Can he put that in his mouth?" he wondered quietly, seeing Harry's attempt to eat Sirius' present. "What's that thing made of?"

"I don't know. Hey Sirius!" James called. Sirius performed an amazing acrobatic stunt when he turned around on the ladder he was standing on. "Yeah?"

"What's that wand made of?"

"What's that wand made of? Hello, were you a Head-Boy?! What are wands made of?" answered Sirius. 

"Er, wood? Just a wild guess."

"Gee, hole in one! Yes, wood!" Sirius shook his head and turned around again. 

"You got to admit, it was a pretty stupid question," commented Remus.

"Quiet, slave," was James' answer.

"Oh, why, thank you. But I think you must now welcome your guests, because there comes Dumbledore and Hagrid," said Remus. "C´mon, give me Harry." James handed him the toddler, who was now quietly sucking the wand, while his father crossed the garden and welcomed the old Hogwarts Headmaster and the giant Gamekeeper. Hagrid was holding a large – something. It was wrapped in coloured paper, and had an odd shape. Wondering as to what it was (although he would never admit it, of course, he would say it was doing it for Harry) Remus walked over to them. 

"And there is Harry," said Dumbledore fondly. "How are you doing?" Harry looked up at the man with the half-moon spectacles and the long silver beard, and he took the wand out of his mouth and pointed it at the old man. 

"A first attempt to do magic," said James. "Professor, the drinks are over there, Remus can help you-"

"He has appointed me his slave," said Remus.

"- while I welcome Peter." Remus looked over his shoulder. Peter had appeared at the fence. He was wearing a shirt with long sleeves, even though it was in the middle of the summer. 

James approached Peter while Remus showed Hagrid and Dumbledore the drinks. Harry was still waving with his wand and muttering incomprehensible things. He hit Remus a few times, but he didn't care. Sirius, finished with the lampoons, came standing with them. 

"Babysitting?" he asked.

"No, just holding him. I'm not sitting on him," replied Remus cleverly. 

"Good, because I don't think James and Lily want a squished child," said Sirius. 

"Why not? That would be really special."

"Yeah, but squished children fall so easily."

"Just keep them out of the wind, and they won't fall," said Remus reasonably.

"And I'm not looking forward to a flat Godson," added Sirius. 

"So that's your real reason! Very selfish, Sirius."

"Of course! You must be selfish, else you won't survive in this cruel world," explained Sirius. "Imagine, you share everything you have, and then it gets winter, and cold, and you get all purple, and when you have no food your stomach shrinks, and then it starts consuming itself, so you kind of get eaten from the inside." Sirius acted it out for Remus, pulling painful faces with his arms over his stomach. Harry was staring wide-eyed at his Godfather's show. 

"And then you finally die, your face all greenish and everything, and your feet black and death, and then-" 

Toc. Harry hit Sirius, who was now on his knees acting out starvation, on his head. 

"- and then there's always Harry to remind you things can get worse," added Sirius. "Was that supposed to be a curse?" Harry smiled broadly at him.

"No, I think that was supposed to be a spell to cure you," said Remus.

"What was I talking about again?" wondered Sirius. "Ah. You see, Remus, you must be selfish, else you will get hit on your head by Harry!"

"A wise lesson," commented Remus. "Come, I´ll get you a piece of the birthday cake, or Harry will have to hit you after all." 

~*~

"And then the short wizard said: "but that hippogriff landed in my wife's mashed potatoes!" Sirius ended his joke. The people gathered in the garden burst into laughing. 

Remus, sitting on a creaky chair, grinned softly. He looked over his shoulder. Behind him, Harry had found a hidingplace for his parents. His arms were wrapped tightly around his new friend, a dragon Hagrid had given him. The animal looked suspiciously home-made. Apparently it also served as a pillow for sleeping children.

Remus looked up and saw Lily looking at him. She smiled a knowing smile at him. Harry wasn't as well-hidden as he thought. 

Dumbledore got to his feet. "I am terribly sorry to ruin the festive atmosphere," he said, "but I'm afraid I must be going." 

"Ye-yes, me too," stuttered Peter. This seemed to be the sign for everybody to get on their feet and announce they were leaving as well. The four candles on the table were extinguished and Lily picked up Harry from the ground. He pulled a face and continued sleeping. "I'm putting Harry in bed," his mother said to no one in particular.

"Run, run, as fast as you can," said Sirius.

"Huh?" replied Remus.

"You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread man!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "You're insane!"

"True," agreed Sirius. "And I'm leaving."

"Already?"

"Remus," said Sirius, watching Remus with a stern expression he stole from McGonagall, "it's WAY past children's bedtime!" Remus laughed and kicked to Sirius, who jumped out of the way, pointed and laughed at Remus, said goodbye to James, and walked out of the garden. A few minutes later they heard the motorbike starting. The rumbling sound of the engine slowly died as Sirius flew away.

Remus helped James clean up the garden and put the dishes in the sink.

"Now I wish I had a house-elf," sighed James, several glasses in his hands.

"That reminds me, what happened to the mansion and the house-elves?" asked Remus. James' face got a "I´d rather not talk about that"expression, but he answered anyway. 

"The mansion is empty, and the house-elves are temporarily working at Hogwarts. Such a large house is a bit too easy to find," he explained. 

"Like a big arrow hanging in the air, telling Voldemort 'here they are'," said Remus. 

"Indeed," agreed James, whiping his hands clean with a towel. "That's why Lily and I are planning to go into hiding."

"You are?" said Remus suprised. "When? Where?"

"I'm afraid I can't tell you, because I hardly know myself. And, Remus, hidingplaces are supposed to be _secret_." 

"I know, I know, I know." Remus glanced quickly at the clock on the wall. "Not that I would ever tell anyone where it is. James, I'm going too." 

His friend nodded and followed him into the hall, where Remus put his cloak on. 

"You can manage?" inquired James.

"Yes, I can," sighed Remus. "You've been asking me that almost since the first day I met you. Do I look that weak?" He spread his arms and looked down, observing his body. 

"Sorry," said James. "I just…" He saw the twinkle in Remus' eyes. "Ow, you hateful person! Get out, get out, get out." He opened the door and pushed Remus out. "Don't come back when until I ask you to!"

"Hah, bet you'll be begging me on bended knees to honour you with my presence."

"You've been with Sirius too much lately," concluded James. 

Remus shrugged in a comical way, smiled innocently, and Disapparated.


	22. Farewell

**A few quotes from Will Shakespeare here and there...**

**A. Dee: yes, feel free to quote from my fict! Can you send me a link to your own fict then? I'd like to read it! **

**October 1981.**

_"A thousand times goodnight, parting is such sweet sorrow…"_

The large brown wolf walked headlong into the wall, and the bars in the window shook. The animal growled, shook his head, and turned around to face the door. He stretched out his long claws. The door was heavily damaged, but the wolf still wasn't able to scratch its way through it. Frustrated, the wolf lay its head in its neck and cried out a deep and long howling. 

He suddenly stopped and listened. Did he hear something outside? The wolf moved soundlessly to the wall, his head low. To his disappointment, nobody entered the room. He cried out again, all his sorrow and despair in one low howling to the moon…

~*~ 

"Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a normal brother," said Romulus sleepily, trying to hold back a yawn. "One who doesn't rob me from my sleep once a month."

"And what would that be like?" wondered his father, a mug filled with tea in his hand.

"Boring," admitted Romulus. "And now I had the opportunity to get the highest marks in Defence Against the Dark Arts, when we were doing werewolves." 

The silence that followed was broken by the sound of the werewolf, making another attempt to break out. Romulus even thought he heard small pieces of plaster coming down from the ceiling of the sitting room, which was unfortunately right under the room Remus was now in. 

Mrs Lupin calmly poured herself another cup of tea. She had a soft blue night-gown on, and a long braid hung down on her back, reaching to her waist. Her hair had Remus' lightbrown colour; Romulus resembled his father, having darker hair. 

She drank her tea as if nothing abnormal had happened. A large brown werewolf trying to destroy her house was regular business. 

After a few more hours, when the sun was already looking over the edge of the horizon, it got quiet upstairs, and the three Lupins went back to bed, hoping to get some more sleep. 

~*~

His head was pounding. Remus tried to swallow, but his mouth was dry, and his tongue did not seem to be a part of him at all. He didn't try and open his eyes, because the light of the sun would surely blind him. 

Someone lifted his head and held a cup against his lips, and he thankfully drank the water, although he spilled half of it on the floor. He felt that the person wrapped a blanket around his body. He opened one eye, and saw a lightbrown braid before his face. Of course.

That was what he had missed the most at Hogwarts: waking up with someone who gave you something to drink and who wrapped you in a blanket to keep you warm. 

He tried to say "thank you", but his mouth was not co-operating. It was not necessary, however. She understood what he meant.

"it's okay," she whispered. "Go to sleep."

He obediently closed his eyes, and fell asleep. 

~*~

"'Massacre among Muggles'," said Romulus. "'Followers of You-Know-Who kill hundreds of people'." He turned a page of the _Daily Prophet. "'Albus Dumbledore´s comment on the tragedy.' 'Ministry of Magic in distress'." _

"Where was that?" asked Remus. 

"Somewhere in Kent," replied Romulus. "Here, listen: 'Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, said, when asked, that this was a tragic event-' of course, he can hardly say it wasn't '- and that he would double his effort to fight You-Know-Who and his followers.' That's it. it's pretty obvious, actually. Predictable."

"Like you said, they won't like it if he said he thought it funny," commented Remus. "After all, he's the leader of the Order."  

His brother nodded in agreement and folded up the paper. "You know, I was wondering," he said, "about that Order of the Phoenix…"

"Yes…" said Remus slowly. "What is it?"

"Well…it's a resistance group, right? But, uhm, isn't that really dangerous?" 

"Dangerous?" echoed Remus. 

"Yeah, dangerous as in 'likely to get killed soon'," said Romulus a bit irritated. 

"I know what you mean," replied Remus, getting to his feet. "It is dangerous, yes. Very dangerous, actually, also because I'm a friend of James."

"Why do you go on with it then?" Romulus wanted to know.

"Because I think it is something I must do, even though I can get killed for it. I think defeating Voldemort and saving my friends is more important that my own live."

"Sounds impressive," said Romulus.

"Yeah, but I'm sometimes scared as hell," said Remus dryly. He moved to the hall, and put his cloak on.

"Where're you going?" informed his younger brother.  

"Diagon Alley. There's a book about Boggarts I want to buy."

~*~

The high bookcases formed a small maze through the bookshop. Remus inhaled the dusty scent of old leather-bound books and parchments maps. He randomly walked from one aisle to the other, reading the titles on the back of the books, holding the book about Boggarts in his hand. Sometimes a soft talking could be heard, coming from the counter near the door. Here, on the other side of the shop, the outside world seemed far, far away, almost not existing. Creaking floorboards, filtered light coming in through the dusty windows, Remus took another turn. He scanned the aisles for a few moments; that conversation with Romulus earlier had made him more nervous that he wanted to be. Apparently he was the only one here. 

He walked slowly past the old books, reading title after title. An almost inaudible sound made him look up. Nothing. 

Remus concentrated on the books again, but suddenly felt someone tapping on his right shoulder. He turned around, and at the same moment he heard a sound like an explosion in his left ear. 

"Boo!"

Remus got a heart-attack, jumped back, and whacked Sirius hard in the face with the massive leather-bound _"Boggarts; Fighting Your Fear"_. The leather creaked.

"Never ever, EVER do that again!" he bellowed. 

Sirius moaned and held his hand against his nose. He wanted to say something, but was interrupted by a soft but stern voice, asking what on earth they were doing. Remus turned around, and, to his embarrassment, he saw the owner of the bookshop, a small bespectacled man. He knew the man very well, and they got along very well, with Remus asking advice on books he could read. He was more than a regular customer, he was almost a close friend. Being caught fighting with the man's precious books was the last thing Remus needed.  

Sirius was glaring at Remus, a handkerchief pressed to his bleeding nose. Remus wasn't likely to get help from him. 

"Er…" he stuttered. "I, ah, uhm…" He held out the book. "I would like to buy this book," he said quickly.

"And you were just testing it, to see if it wasn't fragile?" asked the shopkeeper, an amused shining in his eyes.

"Uh, yes," agreed Remus sheepishly. 

"May I suggest you stop testing it on other people's heads?" said the man, taking the book and walking to the counter. Remus and Sirius followed silently. 

~*~

A few minutes later, they were standing outside.

"A drink in the Leaky Cauldron?" suggested Remus.

"That's the least you can do," said Sirius grumpily. 

The two of them walked over to the small pub and sat down at a table in a corner. Tom the bartender took their orders. Sirius was still nursing his nose, which was swelling up in an alarming way. 

"I think you broke it," he said. 

"I'm sorry," apologised Remus. "I thought you were – heaven knows what!"

"I know what _you_ are," groaned Sirius. "A danger to humanity."

"Gee, that took you long to find out," replied Remus. 

"You know what I mean! I just tap on your shoulder, and you react with something that pretty much resembles an attempt to kill me!"

"You 'just tapped on my shoulder'? I wouldn't exactly call it that!"

Tom returned with the ordered butterbeer. "What happened to you?" he asked Sirius. "Had a fight or something?"

"Yeah, something like that," muttered Sirius, giving Tom a few knuts. The bartender walked away again.

"What were you doing there anyway?" Remus wanted to know.

"Looking for you," answered Sirius. "Your mother said I might find you there. I have something for you." Remus held up his hand, but Sirius shook his head.

"It's an invitation," he said. "I was at the Potter's yesterday, and they asked me if I could ask you to come around too."

"Why?"

"Uh, perhaps because they're going into hiding in less than two weeks?" replied Sirius a bit sarcastic. "And they want to see you?" 

"It was a stupid question," admitted Remus. "You said you were there yesterday. How are they doing?"

"Pretty good, actually," said Sirius. "They're packing. You probably get a large box with stuff too, just like me."

"Wow, presents!" smiled Remus.

"Not exactly. More things they can't take with them," told Sirius. "Photos and such. They asked me if I could keep it at my house for as long as is necessary. You probably get a box too."

"Then I better go now," said Remus, getting to his feet. "What are you going to do?"

"Make up excuses for my nose," shrugged Sirius. "Get a new part for my motorbike."

"You are overreacting about your nose," said Remus. "It is not broken."

"That's what you say. Now, get out of here."

"A thousand times goodnight. Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow," recited Remus. Sirius groaned.

"Not Shakespeare! Anything but Shakespeare!" he cried out.

"Uhm, until we meet again?" suggested Remus.

"Okay, but hopefully not in a bookshop," said Sirius. "Now get lost."

Remus grinned and left, leaving Sirius alone at the table.

~*~

"It must be around here somewhere," said James, stepping over large carton boxes. Remus saw one labelled 'Dumbledore, Hogwarts'. It was half open, and he could see the silvery Invisibility cloak, together with other objects, books and such.

"Ah, here it is!" James interrupted Remus' thoughts. He picked up a carton box and handed it to Remus. 

"What's in it?" he asked.

"Photos, drawings, books, that kind of things," replied James, wading through the mess on the floor. 

"And what am I to do with it?" inquired Remus.

"Keep it at your house until you can give it back. We can't take everything here with us, it's no ordinary moving from one place to the other."

They walked into the kitchen, where Lily was busying herself with dinner. Harry crawled around on the floor. Remus put the box down on the table. 

Lily turned around. "I see you already got one?"

"Yep," confirmed Remus. "Don't worry, I will guard it with my life!"

"It's not _that _important," said James, "but thanks anyway."

"Are you staying for dinner?" Lily wanted to know. 

"Sorry to disappoint you, but no," answered Remus. "I can't. It sounds very sad, and you may think me a great looser, but I promised my parents to be home before dinner."

"It's okay," assured Lily. "You're not a looser."

"Of course not," added James.

"Yeah right. That 'of course not' made it sound fake," said Remus, a wry smile on his face. 

The silvery cat entered the kitchen, allowed Harry to stroke its back, then it noticed Remus. Purring in delight, it stroked past Remus' legs, its flexible body bent in the strangest curves. Remus bowed and patted the animal, then picked it up, stroking his fingers over the silver-grey fur. Purring even louder, the cat unconsciously hooked its claws in Remus' arm in delight, but he didn't even flinch. 

"Here's my biggest fan," he said, holding the cat almost upside down. The animal was still purring.

"Do you want to have him?" asked James suddenly. Remus stared wide-eyed at him.

"Have him? But it's your cat!" Lily seemed just as suprised as he was. 

"James! What the-"

"We can't drag him everywhere with us," explained James. "You like him, he likes you – perhaps even more than he likes us. If you want to, you can take him with you."

"But…" hesitated Remus. "I, ah…"

"Yes or no?" 

"Yes," he agreed. "If you say it's okay, I´ll take him." He turned to Lily. "If it's okay with both of you." Lily didn't even hesitate, but nodded. 

"Sure," she said. "He's yours."

James was already gathering things together, like food and a basket for the cat.

"I somehow get the feeling you're relieved you're finally rid of your cat," said Remus.

"He always bit me," confessed James. He stuffed all the things in the carton box, closed it with some difficulty, and put two layers of spellotape over it. "There. Bet it won't open again."

"How are you taking the cat?" inquired Lily. 

Remus shrugged. "Like this," he said, and almost managed to let the cat perform a somersault. The animal kept purring and Harry clapped his hands.

"You're not Apparating, are you?" informed James a bit worried. Remus gave him a disappointed look. 

"James, how foolish do you think I am? I'm taking the Knight Bus." He checked his watch. "And it's time I'm leaving." He put the cat down, put his cloak on, and picked the animal up again. Then he saw the rather large carton box on the table. "Er…"

"Perhaps if we send it to you by mail?" suggested Lily. Remus shook his head. 

"No need. This will do." He drew his wand and said "_Mobiliarbus!" The box raised a few inches until it floated in mid-air. _

"You can manage?" James wanted to know, when Remus was already outside, and about to extend his wand-hand to call the Knight Bus. He rolled his eyes.

"The day I will never hear that again shall be the best day of my life," he sighed. "_YES, I CAN MANAGE!! _Sheesh…"

"Sorry…" said James a bit offended. Remus shook his head and stretched out his right arm. Almost on the same moment, a huge purple bus appeared. A boy opened the door. 

"One passenger?" he inquired. Remus nodded and lifted the box with a wave of his wand. It slowly floated upwards, in the Knight Bus. He set one foot inside, but, as on second thought, turned around. 

"Sure _you _will manage?" he asked. James shrugged. "We will live, trust me." Remus opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something, then he nodded shortly and got in, the grey cat in his arms. The Knight Bus took off, leaving the small town near the forest in the darkness…


	23. Secretkeeper

**Abut the Mobiliarbus in the last chapter: it was Ivy Crane I believe who commented that Mobiliarbus is actually used to lift trees ("arbus" is Latin for tree) instead of boxes, like Remus did. My excuse for that mistake has to be that my Latin doesn't go any further than "veni, vidi, vici"... I just remembered that Hermione uses it in book 3, to replace – you guessed it – a tree... and I assumed it worked for all kinds of objects. Apparently not. **

**So sorry for that mistake, but it was made entirely unintentionally. To make up for it, a new chapter! **

**Tuesday October 26, 1981.**

"So Black was the Potters' Secret-Keeper?"

It was a cold but sunny day in October, a few days before Halloween. Big orange pumpkins were visible in Hagrid´s garden patch. Sirius could see them through the windows of Dumbledore´s office. James was sitting in a chair behind him, and they were waiting for Dumbledore, Sirius had no idea why. He turned around and looked at his best friend. James looked tired and pale, as if he hadn't slept for a few days.

"You look like a wreck" said Sirius. 

"You try looking good when every moment could be your last and your wife and child could be murdered any minute" James replied angrily. 

"Sorry, keep your hair on. I was only trying to make conversation!"

An argument was prevented by Dumbledore, who entered the room. He looked just as tense and exhausted as James, but managed to produce a little smile. He sat down and waved to Sirius to do the same. 

"I've found a solution to the problem" he told James. "The best thing to do would be the Fidelius charm." "Of course!" James muttered, and his face lightened up a bit.

"Excuse me", Sirius interrupted. "The what?!"

"The Fidelius charm" James explained. "With this charm, secret information can be locked inside a person, the so-called secret-keeper, and no one can find it out, unless the secret-keeper reveals it. Lily and I are planning to go into hiding, and the Fidelius charm would be the best way to prevent Voldemort from finding us."

"It would be the best way. Voldemort can look for you for ages and never find you" said Dumbledore. "Who will be the secret-keeper?"

James glanced quickly at Sirius. "Sirius" he said. 

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Sirius is planning to go into hiding himself, aren't you?"

Sirius nodded. Dumbledore still seemed worried. "Are you sure you don't want me as your secret-keeper? I would be happy to do it, and that is not just politeness." 

"No, I'm sure. It'll be Sirius."

"Shall I do it? Maybe it's the best way…" 

"No", said James determined. "I´ll do it myself. Then I know for sure it goes right."

"Very well, if you insist. But I believe you must be going, I've got other things to do. I'm sorry." Dumbledore lead them down the stairway to the main entrance hall and let them alone. James looked at Sirius. "Do you want to do it?" he asked. 

"Are you sure you want me?" Sirius asked back.

"Who else? I trust you almost more than Dumbledore."

"I've got a better idea. Let's take Peter" Sirius suggested as they walked their way up to Hogsmeade Station.  

"Peter?!" James replied. 

"Yes, Peter. He's totally inconspicuous. Almost everybody knows I'm your best friend so it would be likely I know where you're hiding. But Peter won't be connected with you, at least not so fast."

You're right, Peter is a better choice. I´ll send an owl immediately so I can perform the charm this night. The sooner the better, isn't it?" 

That night, very late.

"It is done, my master. The Potters choose me as their secret-keeper. I know exactly where they're hiding."

"Very good, Wormtail. You have been a good servant. Maybe you'll be rewarded some day."  A high cackling laugh followed these words. 

"Thank you, master…"


	24. Halloween

**Sunday October 31, 1981.**

"But, as we all know, You-Know-Who met his downfall in little Harry Potter."

Sirius Black landed his flying motorbike in front of the small house. It was the end of the afternoon and the sun was already setting. The front garden of the house was decorated with pumpkins, and a small sign at the door said: "Mrs Pettigrew". Sirius was here to check if Peter was really hiding. Of course, Peter could be trusted, but you never knew; he was very attached to his mother. He rang the bell and a small woman answered it. She had always been smaller than Sirius and his friends, even Peter was bigger than her. Mrs Pettigrew seemed delighted to see him; she kind of adopted them all as her sons when Peter introduced them to her. James even showed little Harry to her and she was deeply in love with the little boy. But, thought Sirius, who wasn't? Mrs Pettigrew pulled him inside, reasoning that it was far to cold to be standing in the front garden and telling him all about the decorations she made herself. Finally, after a long story about her neighbours and after a cup of tea, Sirius managed to say something. 

"Have you seen Peter lately?"

"Peter?" she replied, as if she just remembered she had a son. "No, I'm afraid not, dear. He's living in a house of his own now and I haven't seen him for at least two weeks. I'm afraid he's not doing well and that he's going quite wild. Last time I saw him he had a big black tattoo on his arm. Goodness knows what will be next. Green hair?" She smiled, amused by the thought of Peter with green hair. 

"Well, that's a pity. Thank you for your tea, Mrs Pettigrew, but I promised James and Lily to come round." He did not, he wanted to check if Peter was in his hiding place. There was something bothering him: a black tattoo. Where did he hear that before? He couldn't remember…

Mrs Pettigrew was looking around, searching for something. "Now where was that bag?" she muttered. "Ah, there it is! Sirius, would you be so kind as to give this to James and Lily?" She handed a him a big bag, filled with clothing. "These are baby-clothes I found yesterday. Maybe they're of use for them, they were Peter's once."

"Thank you, Mrs Pettigrew. I'm sure they will be very happy with it" said Sirius as he walked down the garden path. He was tying the bag on his motor when suddenly it shot inside his head, a conversation with James, a few months ago…

"James," he asked, "how can one recognise a follower of Voldemort?"

"A follower of Voldemort? Er… A black tattoo on the arm, a skull with a snake. They call it the Dark Mark" his friend replied. 

A black tattoo… Sirius threw the bag with baby-clothes on the street, jumped on his motorbike and set of for Peter's hidingplace. 

~*~

When he arrived at the hidingplace it was deserted. But there was no sign of a fight or a struggle or something like that. Quite the contrary in fact: the bed was made up, the dishes were done and the door was locked. It was like the occupant was off for a visit and would return soon, thought Sirius. He wasted no more time. His instincts told him he should go to Godric´s Hollow immediately, so he set of, hoping he wasn't too late. A nasty little voice in his head kept repeating his own words: I've got a better idea. Let's take Peter…  

~*~

James Potter was laying in a chair, his feet on another chair and his son in his arms. Little Harry couldn't sleep, even with his toy dragon he got from Hagrid for his first birthday, so James had read him a story (actually it was Quidditch through the Ages) to make him fall asleep. Lily had had to smile when she saw James telling Harry about the different Quidditch teams and Harry slowly falling asleep. 

"Apparently Harry thinks Quidditch is kind of boring" she said.

"Oh, don't worry" James replied, "he will like it one day. And one can never to young to start with Quidditch."

Lily entered the living room with two mugs with hot milk. James managed to take one without waking Harry up. He put the book aside and took a big gulp of his milk. 

"I think it's time we go to bed" Lily said. 

"Hm, hm" James answered thoughtlessly. "Can you take Harry please?"

Lily picked up her son. "There we go, little one. James, will you lock the doors, please? Then I will put Harry in bed." She started walking up the stairs while James locked the back door. When he was locking the front door, he thought he heard something. Footsteps, the cracking of the gravel outside. He stiffened. No one would come this late… It could only be one person… He could feel the hairs in his neck going on end.

His hand reached for his wand as he shouted: "Lily, take Harry and go! It's Him! Go! Run! I´ll hold him of – "

The next moment their front door was blown away. A tall man entered the house, his wand drawn. He laughed a horrible, cackling laugh. Before James could even draw his wand, Lord Voldemort simply said: "Avada Kedavra." A green flash, a rushing sound. James fell on the floor. 

Voldemort moved over to where Lily was standing with Harry in her arms. His eyes shone with an evil sort of joy. Finally, he had the Potters where he wanted them. He waved with his hand. 

"Stand aside, girl. Let me take the boy."

"Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!" she cried. Voldemort felt his anger raise.

"Stand aside, you silly girl. Stand aside… let me kill him."

"Not Harry! Please, have mercy! Take me instead, but don't kill Harry!" She turned her back towards him, blocking his way. He raised his want. 

"Then you leave me no choice!" He pointed his want directly at Lily and Harry.

"Avada Kedavra."

Again a green flash, a rushing sound. Lord Voldemort screamed. Then, nothing more but the cry of a baby…

~*~

Peter Pettigrew was hiding in the bushes nearby when he saw the house explode. He could think of only one thing. He ran.

~*~

Sirius´ motorbike hit the ground with a crash. He jumped of it and did not care whether his motor fell or not. He stared at the ruins of what was once his friends´ home. There was smoke coming from it, and the smell like something was burning. He took a few steps forward and saw two bodies. One was a man, a tall man with black hair and a wand in his hand. He was laying at his back before the other body. The other body belonged to a woman with red hair. She was laying with her face down like she was trying to protect something in her arms. They both had a look of fear on their face. When Sirius saw the dead bodies of his friends, his legs couldn't hold him anymore. He fell on his knees, took James in his arms and started crying. 

~*~

After a while he felt a hand on his shoulder. "An´ what're ye doin´ here?" he heard a loud voice say. It was Hagrid. Sirius looked up at him, tears on his face. 

"Hagrid, they're – they're – they're- " He couldn't say it. Hagrid patted him on the shoulder, his beetle-black eyes filled with tears. "I know" he said. "I know…"

Sirius noticed Hagrid was holding something, a small bundle. He asked: "Hagrid, what´ve you got there?"  

"Here? Ah, a small suprise fer ye, I guess!" Hagrid smiled and handed the bundle over to Sirius. First he thought it was just a bundle of old clothing, maybe some wizard-stuff muggles weren't allowed to see, then he felt it was moving and breathing. He pushed the cloth away a little. Two familiar green eyes looked at him.

"Harry!" he gasped. He turned around to look sharply at Lily. Now he noticed she was holding nothing in her arms.

"I dunno what happened, but this lill´ kid survived. He must be something really special" Hagrid said. 

"He's got a cut on his forehead. Do you have a handkerchief or something?"

Hagrid gave him a handkerchief like a tablecloth. Sirius whipped the blood away and looked at the cut. It had a strange shape, a bit like a bolt of lighting. Hagrid stretched out his hands. 

"Yer better give em to me. He's to go to his uncle an´ aunt in Lill´ Winging." 

"What?! The Dursleys? You can't mean that! Who came up with this ridiculous idea?" said Sirius, pressing Harry to his chest. 

"Dumbledore said so, he said he was to go an´ live with them lot."

"Dumbledore said so? He can't mean that! And besides, I'm his godfather, I´ll take care of him!"

"I'm very sorry, but the professor said so, an´ I always keep my promise."

Sirius looked around, searching for an excuse, something to say. He saw something in the sand, near the bushes. Were those… footprints?! Who would have been hiding there, and, as the footprints showed, been running away? Why would somebody hide and run away? Only a person who didn't want to be discovered. Like somebody who was watching his master kill his best friends… Peter. Sirius knew it.

He turned around to Hagrid. "Okay then, bring him to his uncle and aunt. You know what? Take my motorbike. I won't need it anymore." Chasing after Peter would be a lot easier on foot. 

"Er… Okay" Hagrid said in amazement because of the turn in Sirius behaviour. Sirius pulled the cloth tightly around Harry so he wouldn't get cold. 

"What about James and Lily?" he asked Hagrid.

"´spect the ministry will take care of them. They'll be here any minute."

Sirius gave Harry one last hug. "Goodbye Harry" he said. "Maybe I´ll see you later." He handed Harry over to Hagrid who took the baby in his arms. He was able to ride the motor and hold Harry in the other arm. "Bye Sirius" he said.

"Yeah, goodbye Hagrid. Take good care of Harry."

Hagrid set of for Little Winging. Sirius gazed after them until he couldn't see them anymore. Then he changed into a big black dog and started following the footsteps.


	25. Sirius vs Peter

**Short chappy, sorry about that...**

**Monday November 1, 1981.**

"It was not the Ministry of Magic who found Black. It was little Peter Pettigrew."

The street was crowded with muggles doing their last shopping and talking about the strange things that had happened that day. Nobody noticed the big black dog with his nose on the street, following a trace. Suddenly it raised his head, gave a short yelp and ran away into another street, causing an old Muggle woman to fall. 

"Really unacceptable, those dogs without a leash." 

"The strangest things happen the last few days. Have you heard about the owls flying around today?" And the people forgot about the dog.

The dog ran into another street, also filled with muggles, but less than in the other one. The dog looked around and saw a couple of big rats. He growled and approached a rather fat, grey one. Suddenly, the rat changed into a man. It happened so quickly hardly any Muggle noticed, and those who did blinked and thought they were probably mistaken. The rat had changed into a small man with colourless hair. He was slightly too fat for his height and seemed rather uncomfortable. He looked at the place where the dog had been, but now there stood a man. It was Sirius, who said: "So, there you are Peter. Couldn't stand seeing your friends die, could you? Or is it: couldn't stand seeing your master die?" 

"I.. I don't know where you're talking about" stuttered Peter, looking for a way to escape.

"I'm talking about betraying your friends, James and Lily Potter!" Sirius roared. A few muggles turned around to see what was happening.

Peter trembled slightly at the sound of the names.

"What's the matter? Can't stand hearing their names?"

 "You have no idea. Lord Voldemort is such a strong wizard…" he started.

"Not a strong wizard now, is he? More like a dead wizard if you ask me! And now his servant will die too!" Sirius draw his wand.

"Sirius… You can't kill me! I'm your friend…"

"Nice friend. Why would I spare my friends when you did not?"

"You leave me no choice!" Before Sirius could do anything, Peter draw his wand, held it behind his back and screamed "Lily and James, Sirius! How could you!" 

"What! You filthy lying…" Sirius roared. 

The next moment he was blown from his feet. 

A few minutes later he scrambled on his feet again. His yaw dropped. There was a big hole in the middle of the street. Muggles were lying around it, most of them bleeding, some of them dead. He couldn't see Peter anywhere. He heard squeaking at his feet. He looked down and saw a lot of rats running to the sewers. He thought he saw a big grey one… Sirius couldn't help himself; he started to laugh. Finally, he thought, you're the better one, Peter. Until I get you…

When the ministry arrived, they found a street which looked like a battlefield. Sirius Black was in the middle of it, laughing like a madman.      


	26. Newspapers and grief

**The quote above this chapter is from a song of the Dutch rockband Within Temptation. The song is called "Our Farewell". The full lyrics will be given later...**

**November 2, 1981.**

"Never thought this day would come so soon 

_We had no time to say goodbye."_

Remus covered his face in his hands, his fingertips touching the lids of his closed eyes. As a child, he always thought the world disappeared every time he shut his eyes. If only… With all his might, he wished he could make the world disappear, that he could change the headlines of the various papers spread on the ground. He wished… but knew that it wouldn't happen. He knew that things couldn't be changed. 

He removed his hands and opened his eyes, facing reality.

"You-Know-Who strikes again!" 

_"Murder in Godric´s Hollow!"_

_"James Potter and wife killed!" _

And finally, that amazing one, that couldn't be true, the one that proved that miracles did happen, once in a century: _"You-Know-Who killed by youngest Potter!"_

He bowed down and picked up the _Daily Prophet_.

"When You-Know-Who arrived in Godric´s Hollow two nights ago, he was prepared for what He thought was going to happen: the murder of three innocent people. But He couldn't know things were going to turn out differently…

James and Lily Potter lived quietly with their son Harry in Godric´s Hollow. You-Know-Who, determined to kill all of the Potters, had planned their deaths. When He arrived at their home, he killed James and Lily without remorse. But when He pointed his wand at little Harry – one year and three months of age – to kill him, Harry struck back. Nobody knows what happened exactly, but it is suspected that Harry used a very own sort of magic to kill the Dark Lord, He Who Must Not Be Named. Amazingly, the boy himself only got a cut in his forehead, which will leave an extraordinary lightning-bolt shaped scar. 

A few hours after the horrible and tragic events, Harry was taken from his home by members of the Ministry of Mystery (or perhaps Albus Dumbledore himself?) and taken to an unknown place, probably to his relatives, until he is old enough to start his education at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

The wizard world owes much to this boy, this orphan, The Boy Who Lived!"

The article had a photo next to it, on which the ruins of the Potter's home could be seen. 

Remus saw the picture, saw the smoke still coming from the ruins, but it never really sunk in. It all seemed like some kind of weird, horrible joke, a dream perhaps. Next moment he would wake up and realise it wasn't real. But there would never be a 'next moment when he would wake up', and he knew that. 

Someone entered the room. Romulus. Without looking up, Remus asked: "have you heard anything from Sirius yet?" He had send him an owl a few hours ago. 

Romulus said nothing for a few moments, then he threw two new papers on the floor. The headlines immediately caught Remus' sight. 

"Massacre among Muggles!"

And that other one, as horrible as the news about Harry had been wonderful: "Potters betrayed by 'best friend'; Sirius Black brutally kills twelve Muggles and a wizard."

~*~

"Tragic, absolutely tragic…"

Unbelievable, their best friend!"

"You knew them, didn't you? Was he…" The anxious voice paused for a moment, "different? Black, I mean." Remus' mother answered softly, denying.

Remus rested his head against the wall, his eyes closed, absentmindedly stroking the cat on his lap. He listened to the talking people below, neighbours and family, cheerfully celebrating the defeat of Voldemort, and discussing the murder of the Potters. Remus disgusted them. 

Listen to them. Hungry for sensation. Delighted with the tragedy, as long as it didn't hit them. They had no idea… His thoughts spun in his head. Oh, if only they would die… just vanish… disappear… die, please die… be gone… gone… A weak smile appeared on his tear streaked face, and his fingers unconsciously dug into the animal's fur. Was he going insane? He hoped so. Oh yes, he hoped so… 

Listen, now it appears they're drinking, toasting to this occasion. Toasting! To The Boy Who Lived! The boy without parents! The boy who's Godfather made him an orphan! Yes, toast to him! I hope Sirius is toasting too… with poison…

He stretched out his hand for the paper clipping next to him on the floor. The black and white photo was moving, showing a destroyed street, and a smaller insert showed a black-haired young man being led away by wizards from the Ministry. 

Sirius.

Remus' vision became blurred with tears again. Sirius, how long have you known? Did you know last summer that James, Lily and Harry would be killed? Did you know at the funeral of James's parents? Do you know what the last thing was that James said to me? 'We will live, trust me.' I should never have trusted you, Sirius. Never…

He wiped away the tears in his eyes and started reading the article that he had already memorised.

"POTTERS BETRAYED BY 'BEST FRIEND': SIRIUS BLACK KILLS TWELVE MUGGLES AND A WIZARD.

'A friend in need is a friend indeed.' But you better hope that friend is not named Sirius Black… 

Sirius Black had been James Potter's livelong friend. They attended Hogwarts together, where they were 'almost inseparable', as an former schoolmate calls it. Black was best man on James Potter's wedding, and named Godfather to Harry. But it turned out that Black was not as friendly and innocent as he seemed; Black was the kingpin in the events of the past October 31…

It turned out that Black betrayed the Potters to He Who Must Not Be Named. The Dark Lord went to Godric´s Hollow on Black's information, only to meet his downfall. When You-Know-Who was killed by young Harry Potter, Black, now without his master to protect him, fled, but was soon tracked down by Ministry wizards. The cornered Black blew up an entire street before they were able to capture him. Not only twelve Muggles died that moment, but also a wizard, Peter Pettigrew. To make things worse, Pettigrew was also an old friend of Black's. The murderous madman had no hesitation to end the lives of two of his best friends, and destroy the childhood of his Godson. To their horror, the Ministry wizards found Black laughing insanely, what was left of Pettigrew at his feet. 

Black was taken to Azkaban immediately, by order of Bartolomeus Crouch. James and Lily Potter and Peter Pettigrew, as well as those unfortunate Muggles, can't be brought back to live with this, but hopefully their families will find some satisfaction."

Satisfaction…Remus thought. Only in death, Sirius. Only in death…

~*~

Darkness fell, and the house got quiet. Remus was still sitting on the floor, ignoring his painful legs and his dry throat. The silvery cat – he had named him Silver, fitting for the animal, but strange for a cat owned by a werewolf – had left him some time ago, in search for food. He was alone. Again.

Footsteps on the stairs told him someone was coming. He opened his eyes to see who it was, when Mrs Lupin slowly opened the door. 

"Hello," she said. "How are you doing?" 

He did not reply, refusing to answer obvious questions. He saw her looking around the room. It was a bit ironical that he had sought shelter in the room that kept him away from humans once a month. Like it probably would tomorrow.

"Have you… read the papers?" his mother tried again. He swallowed, but remained silent. He knew that she meant well, but… it didn't come out as well as it should. 

"I got a letter for you," she announced. "Dumbledore asks you to come to… to the funeral." 

"You've been reading my letter," he said calmly. It wasn't an accusation, merely an observation. He was indifferent to it.

"Yes, I have," she confessed, after a few silent moments. "I am sorry." He shrugged.

"It's okay. Forget about it. It's over." 

"What?" she said confused.

"It's over. I'm going. After the funeral, I'm gone. I'm moving out."


	27. Funeral

**Quote again from "Our Farewell". Sad, sad chapter... :,-( **

**Wednesday November 3, 1981.**

"But there is nothing but silence now

Around the one I loved"

It was still cold. There was fog hanging in the trees of the forest near the graveyard. Remus looked at the trees, then at the gravestones at his feet. They read: James Potter – 25/7/1960 – 31/10/1981  and Lily Evans-Potter – 22/4/1960 – 31/10/1981. A few feet away from him, Remus could hear professor Dumbledore, professor McGonagall and Hagrid talking to each other. They were the only people here. He could hear professor McGonagall say: "No one from the Evans family?"

"They didn't want to come. Lily's parents are dead, and the Dursleys refused, although I did wrote in my letter where it was." That was Dumbledore. 

"An´ lill´ Harry livin´ with them. Still can't understan´ why you did it, professor" growled Hagrid. 

"It was the best way. They are his only living relatives. He couldn't live with Sirius. We all know what happened to him" Dumbledore said sharply. "I don't want to hear about it again! You know what happened and why I did it. Now quit the subject!" 

Yes, thought Remus. We do know what happened to Sirius! Sirius was caught and almost immediately send to Azkaban, the wizard-prison. He would be the most heavily guarded prisoner, said the Daily Prophet. 

Remus heard professor McGonagall and Hagrid say goodbye to Dumbledore. He could hear them walking down to the gate of the graveyard. Dumbledore came standing next to him, also looking down at the gravestones. Finally, he said: "It's sad. Not only for you, or me, or Harry. It is also sad for Sirius. Azkaban is terrible, and I wish nobody a stay there."

"I hope he dies in there. And I hope he dies a slow, painful death, all alone, without friends" said Remus angrily. 

"No." Dumbledore shook his head. "You cant mean that." 

Remus laughed a hollow laugh. "Oh, do I mean that!"

Dumbledore raised his hand to put it on Remus´ shoulder, but he stepped aside. He didn't want pity and he didn't want hands on his shoulder. It was just like that doctor, so many years ago, in the hospital, where they told him he was a werewolf. He had never been normal after that. Remus hated to be different. He hated to be alone. Finally, he had had friends, and it was Sirius´ fault he was the only one left. He was alone again. 

Dumbledore sighed. "Will you ever be able to forgive him?" he asked in a soft voice.

"No. Never. There is no forgiveness for things like this." Remus´ eyes told Dumbledore not to try and ask it again. He nodded. "Are you coming with me? You can stay at Hogwarts this night" he suggested.

"No, I'm sorry." Remus looked up at the sky. "Full moon tonight. You better get going."

"You know, maybe they found a cure for it. They're working on a potion."      

"Please, leave" whispered Remus, looking away.   

Dumbledore sighed again and finally left. Remus looked at the sky again. There were still clouds for the moon, and it was not completely dark. He still had enough time to get deep into the forest. The people of Godric´s Hollow wouldn't be haunted by a werewolf tonight. He stroke his hair out of his eyes. He had discovered his first grey hairs his morning, while he was only 21 years old. He took a last look at the gravestones, deciding he would never came back to Godric´s Hollow, to this graveyard and to the ruined house of the Potters. He started walking into the forest, breathing the familiar smell. He was used to forests. 

It was completely dark when he stopped at last, at a large open spot in the middle of the woods. He looked up at the sky again. He saw the clouds moving. Then, the first glimpse of the full moon appeared. He could feel the familiar trembling in his limbs. He looked for the last time, thinking about his days at Hogwarts. About the days he was a werewolf and he, James, Sirius and Peter haunted the grounds. He saw a big cloud move and finally, the light of the full moon hit him. He was always amazed at how beautiful she was. His limbs shook uncontrollably. He had one last human thought before the wolf in him took complete control of him: I've always been alone, and I always will be. Thanks to you, Sirius…


	28. The letter

**End of part one of this fict, not end of the entire fict! **

**The lyrics at the end of this chapter are from the song "Our Farewell", like I said before, from the Dutch rockband Within Temptation. My fav song...**

**Many therapist say that, when you're mourning a friend or relative, it helps to write a letter to them, even though they'll never read it. So that's what Remus is doing in this chapter... **

**Enjoy, and keep your tissues ready.**

**December 31, 1981.**

"How can the world just carry on?

I fell so lost when you're not at my side."

The flickering flames illuminated the parchment, the quill and the bottle with ink. Remus carefully removed the cap and dipped his quill in the black ink. Bowing over the parchment, he hesitated for a moment, then he began to write. 

"December 31, 1981.

Dear James,

The familiar name, written in black ink, shone in the light of the fire until the ink dried. That one name almost took all of Remus' courage to write on, but he dipped his quill in the ink again, and wrote on.

Today it's exactly two months ago. So much has happened, there is so much I wanted to tell you, but couldn't, 

his hand paused for a moment

that's why I'm writing this to you. I moved out only yesterday. I'm now living in a very small cottage in Derbyshire. It's really small and really old, there are mice and I have to get water from a well in the garden, but it's totally mine. I need to decorate and furnish it – I am sitting on a mattress on the floor right now, in front of the fireplace, with boxes around me, and the piece of parchment I'm writing on is resting on an encyclopaedia. Your box is standing only a few feet away from me, I can see my name in your handwriting. I have not opened it – I wonder if I ever will. 

Remus raised his head to look at the object he'd just written about. Photos, drawings, books, that kind of things… His sensitive ears suddenly heard the cat walking in the room above his head, searching for mice. He smiled.

Your cat is having the time of his life here. I believe he's never seen so many mice. I named him Silver, because of his silver-grey fur. Yes, I know, it's a weird name, and no, my hands don't burn when I touch him. That's exactly what Sirius would say. 

His hand stopped writing again. He stared at Sirius' name. He had not wanted to write about him, but he'd lost his attention when imagining his friends' reaction. 

Sirius…

Sirius is in Azkaban now, the most heavily guarded prisoner. He's to stay there for the rest of his life, which, I expect, will not be long. You know what some are saying? 'We could have expected it, he tried to kill someone when he was only sixteen.' Snape, remember? They're trying to find out when he went wrong, but can you do that? James, did you know

a few moments hesitation     

it was Sirius? Did you know it was him, your best friend? And why? 

It doesn't really matter anymore, he's in Azkaban now. He never got a trial, Peter's last words were evidence enough. Reports tell that he said 'Lily and James, Sirius, how could you!', only seconds before Sirius blew him to pieces with his wand. And why would Peter lie when he was facing an almost sure death? Sirius had always been better in duelling, and apparently his friends' lives didn't matter to him anymore.

James, I

his hand trembled

miss you. I miss waking up and seeing your owl almost crashing into my window, a letter with an invitation tied to its paw. Discussing Quidditch, playing with Harry – I believe he's living with Lily's sister now, but I'm not sure, Dumbledore refused to tell me –, the five of us going to the beach like we did last summer. You and Lily and Harry were like a family to me. Sirius destroyed that. I miss you so badly - 

His vision became blurred with tears again. In a sudden burst of anger he grabbed the parchment and threw it in the fire. The hungry flames almost instantly turned the words into ash. Remus covered his face in his hands…

In my hands

Legacies of memories

I can hear you say my name

I can almost see your smile

Feel the warmth of your embrace

But there is nothing but silence now

Around the ones I loved

Is this our farewell?

Sweet darling, you worry too much

My child, see the sadness in your eyes

You are not alone in life

Although you might think that you are

Never thought this day would come so soon

We had no time to say goodbye

How can the world just carry on?

I feel so lost when you're not at my side

But there is nothing but silence now

Around the ones I loved

Is this our farewell?

Sweet darling, you worry too much

My child, see the sadness in your eyes

You are not alone in life

Although you might think that you are

So sorry your world is tumbling down

I will watch you through these nights

Rest your head and go to sleep

'Cause my child, this is not our farewell

This is not our farewell…

** END OF PART ONE **


	29. Silver

**The quote on top comes from Edgar Alan Poe's poem "The Raven"...**

**Summer 1988.**

_"Other friends have flown before – on the morrow _he _will leave me as my Hopes have flown before. Then the bird said, 'nevermore'."_

A wet nose pressed itself against his cheek. Remus groaned and, still with his eyes closed, buried himself under his blanket, curling himself up to a small ball. He could feel his cat walk over him, small paws pressing on him. 

"I am not awake yet!" he said, his voice muffled because of his buried position. It was not true, however; he _was _awake, even though he did not want to admit it. His mind was already working, remembering him of things he had to do. Remus sighed. The list seemed endless: get out of bed, get dressed, feed himself and the cat, oh, get water from the well outside to make tea (he had a wonderful house but no running water), uhm, continue reading in that book about hags he'd bought a few days ago. Read the _Daily Prophet of course. Try and convince the cat that catching mice isn't cruel (Silver was a very weak-hearted cat). Remus groaned again and covered himself with his blanket again._

Truth was of course that he had serious problems getting out of bed in the morning. He was more a person for the evening. He could read until it was in the middle of the night, but getting up before nine or ten o'clock was absolute torture.     

Silver cried out a long "meow", indicating that he was hungry and wanted food, _now. "Yes, yes," Remus muttered. "Coming." _

He turned around one last time and finally sat up in bed. He swung his feet out and wriggled with his toes. An old habit, wriggling his toes before getting out of bed. He remembered James and Sirius laughing their heads off when they'd first seen him do it. Remus watched his toes move and was lost in memories.

"Meow."

"Yes, I'm coming. Impatient cat…"

~*~

The first thing Romulus had said when he first saw Remus' house was: "this must be the smallest cottage in Derbyshire, without a doubt." Indeed it was very small, but beautifully situated in an old forest, somewhere in the middle of Derbyshire. The cottage itself was old, build over a hundred years ago. Remus had found it almost by accident, when on a walk through the forest in an attempt to try and escape from the rollercoaster-ride his life had turned into after that one Halloween. He had asked a nearby living farmer who the occupant was, or better, the owner of the small cottage, for it looked quite deserted and badly looked-after. After learning that there wasn't an owner, the matter was easily solved, and Remus moved in only a few weeks after finding the house. 

He fixed, re-decorated and furnished the cottage all by himself. It took him more than three months, and when he finally sat down to enjoy the warmth of the first sunny day of April, he thought he could finally relax and think of more important things. The things, the friends he'd lost, for example. But he found out that it didn't really matter anymore. It still hurt, oh yes, but more like a bruise, that slowly, slowly heals. Being occupied with something had proved to be an excellent therapy for him. 

Silver followed Remus on his heels when he walked down the stairs while tying his long hair back in a ponytail. His hair hadn't seen a pair of scissors for more than three years now, and, because he was a werewolf, his hair grew faster than normal. His hair was now flowing over his shoulders, down his back, much to the disapproval of his mother. He shrugged. He actually didn't bother cutting his hair; this was much easier than going to the hairdresser every month. And it saved money. How many times had he used that argument now? It must be hundreds.

Entering the kitchen he took his wand from his pocket and waved with it ("swish and flick!" echoed Flitwick in his head). Closets flung open and everything Remus needed for his breakfast came flying out.  

The cat meowed long and desperately. The animal had grown older, of course, and wasn't as agile as he used to be. Remus lifted Silver up onto the table, where the cat started eating its breakfast. 

Remus studied his pet for a few moments. He roughly guessed that the animal was around twelve years old – he'd been Lily's originally, and she'd gotten him from the animal shelter – and the cat was showing it. He wasn't as fast as he used to be, and he was loosing fur here and there. 

A soft bumping sound interrupted his thoughts and made him look up. A tiny, one-eyed owl tried to fly through the window. Igor, Romulus' owl. Romulus, the vampire-freak, said his owl always reminded him of Dracula´s hunchbacked, one-eyed servant you see in comic books, and since that servant is mostly named Igor… According to Remus the resemblance went down to the owl's intelligence, of which the attempts of flying through the window was a good example. 

He quickly got to his feet and opened the window. Igor flew in and landed on the kitchen table, hooting contentedly. Remus untied the letter and opened the envelope. It only contained a paper cutting and a small piece of parchment. The paper cutting was about Loch Ness and its Kelpie, Nessie. On the piece of parchment, Romulus had written a few sentences which sounded as if he was working for an advertisement company: "bored of your dull normal life? Go to Scotland! Visit Loch Ness and maybe you'll see its world-famous Kelpie! Enjoy the nature! Drink real Scottish whisky! Visit you aunt!"

_Yeah right, Romulus_, thought Remus. _Nice idea but no thank you. He crumpled both the paper cutting and the parchment and threw them in the bin._

~*~

A few days later Remus woke up with a shock. Blinking in the sunlight that shone in his face he reached out for the clock on his bedside table. Half past eleven. He frowned. Something was wrong, but he just couldn't figure out what it was. An increasing feeling of unease totally woke him up. He sat up on bed, frowning. What was it? Without wriggling his toes he got out and walked downstairs, still in his pyjamas. He checked every door but they were all still locked. There wasn't a broken window either. He moved further, into the kitchen, where something with silver-grey fur was curled up on a chair. That was it.

Remus suddenly knew what he had missed: the cat waking him up. Still, something was bothering him.

"Hey, goodmorning," he said loudly. No reaction. Now getting a bit irritated, he walked over to the animal. "C´mon, wake up." 

_This is the point when life stops being funny_, he thought when realisation set in.

Silver was dead. 

Remus closed his eyes and opened them again. The cat was still dead. He laughed a short, almost barking laugh. "Sure, why not," he said aloud. "Why no my pet too? Imagine someone was writing the story of my life, he or she would probably be groaning in despair now because it's getting so predictable…"

Still crouched besides the chair, he suddenly noticed the bin. ""Bored of your dull normal life?'" he muttered. "'Visit Scotland!'" 

He jumped on his feet and threw the bin upside-down, searching the trash for a paper cutting.


	30. Scotland

**Okay guys, we're gonna get complicated. Hold on, read slowly so you understand it all, and evertything will be alright. **

**When I wrote this particular part of this fict (about a year ago...), it contained a long NC17 part (in English: a long sex-scene). But then fanfiction.net announced it wouldn't allow NC17 anymore... what could I do? And besides, I rated this fict PG13, and well, that scene was anything BUT PG 13...**

**I finally decided to do the following: this chapter is the edited version of the original. I'll post the original as a separate story, rated R. You can find that one in my profile, if you want to read it. And if you don't, well, don't bother looking for it! You can leave reviews for the original chapter at that chapter, or here (complicated? Easy version: REVIEW! I don't care where!).**

**'kay, that was everything I wanted to say, so... o yeah, chapter quote is from "Moulin Rouge!" I LOVE that movie!**

**September/October 1990.**

_"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."_

Remus pushed the door open and hastily got inside. Water was dripping from his coat on the floor. He shook his head and drops of water flew everywhere. 

_I thought they only had raining seasons in the far east_, he thought. He looked around in the pub where he had sought shelter for the rain outside. It was a pretty large room with round tables and large windows showing the wet streets outside. Because it was a Thursday afternoon there were only a few people. Three old ladies were enjoying a cup of tea and there was a younger woman sitting in a corner near a window. She caught Remus' attention because she was sitting alone, except for a very young child in a buggy next to her. The woman seemed around Remus' age. She had blond hair and she was apparently occupied. She was scribbling things on a notebook in front of her. Occasionally she would look outside the window, lost in thoughts. Remus thought it best not to disturb her. 

He sat down at a table and ordered a coffee and a sandwich. Then he got a map from his pocket and studied it for a few moments. He was going to Loch Ness, by train. He was now in Edinburgh. Tomorrow he would take the train to Drumnadrochit, the largest place near the Loch, where he would stay for three weeks. Then a short visit to his mother's sister, and then back home again. 

He pocketed the map again, quickly finished his coffee and sandwich and got to his feet. He glanced once more to the lonely woman in the corner. She was resting her head on her hand. She saw him looking at her and flashed a smile before turning her attention to her notebook again. 

Remus left the pub.

~*~ 

A few days later… 

A whistle was blown and the Muggle train left the station. Remus watched the train until he couldn't see it anymore, then he picked up his old suitcase. 

He walked down the road, enjoying the autumn sun that shone on his head. He imagined himself walking there; a slender young man with already greying lightbrown hair. Although he would be thirty in a few weeks he looked as if he was in his mid-twenties, except for his eyes. His amber-spotted eyes had a melancholic look that you'd expect with a much older person. He looked as though he'd had too much tragedy and problems in his life. Or, as Romulus had kindly put it: "you look like, huh, fun, what's that? Can you eat that?" _But then my life had been extremely funny, he thought sarcastically. _

He reached a small harbour. The entire Loch could now be overlooked, and Remus was stunned when he saw how huge it was. He could hardly see the other side, only a vague green line. The afternoon sun reflected on the water. Far away he could see a few boats floating about on the lake. It all looked so peaceful…

He noticed a bench not so far away from him. He sat down and leaned back, enjoying the view, the warmth of the sun, the cool breath of wind, the silence.

_Remus, you should be looking for a hotel, a place to stay now_, he thought. _You don't have time to sit here and do nothing! _

_Just a few minutes more. Then I'll go and find something_, he promised himself. _Just – a few minutes…_

"What are you doing?" a curious voice suddenly asked. He jumped and turned to the left. A girl of maybe seven, eight years old was staring at him with bright blue eyes. Her hair was tied in two short braids, and her nose was covered in thousands of freckles. "What are you doing?" she repeated with a rather strong Scottish accent. 

"I, ah, am looking at the lake," he answered.

"Why?" she wanted to know. 

"Uhm, because I was hoping to catch a glimpse of the monster," he said. She looked at him as if she thought him an idiot.

"Nessie never comes when the sun is so bright," she said. "Michael says sunlight hurts Nessie's eyes." _Everybody knows that, stupid, her eyes clearly said. _

"Oh… well, that's too bad…" he said hesitantly. 

"Are you waiting for someone?" the questioning went on. 

"No, not really. I actually need to find a place where I can sleep tonight," he answered, at the same moment wondering why he was telling her all this. 

"You can sleep at my house," she offered seriously.

"I don't think your mommy or daddy will like that," he said. Now she looked really offended.

"My _mommy and __daddy? I'm seven and a half, not four!" she said indignantly. "They are my mother and father, not my mommy and daddy. And I'm sure they won't mind."_

_She is getting annoying_, he thought. 

"What's your name?" was the next question she asked. He was about to say something about her being rude and that he wasn't going to answer more questions, when someone interrupted him. 

"_Meghan__!" The little girl turned around abruptly, looking a little as if she was caught red-handed for something. Remus also turned his head to see who was coming._

_Hey, I'm knocked out and now I'm dreaming_, was his first thought. 

A young woman with long brown hair and, at the moment, angry brown eyes, was rapidly approaching them. Remus felt as if he was stunned and could hardly take his eyes of her face. 

She looked sternly at the little girl who'd been interrogating Remus. According to the similarities in the colour of their eyes and hair, they were sisters. 

"Meghan," the young woman said, with a charming accent. Remus was sure he'd never heard something that beautiful. "What have we told you about talking to strangers?" 

"But he isn't a stranger," Meghan replied. "He's, ah, a friend of mine."

"And what is your friend called?" her sister inquired, raising an eyebrow. 

"His name is, uh, well…" stuttered the little girl. "Ah…you know, we were just getting to that, but you interrupted us!" She even glared at her sister. Then she looked up at Remus, who'd got to his feet. "What's your name?" 

"Remus Lupin," he said, holding out his hand. "And your name is…?"

"Crystal McCowan," she said while she took his hand and shook it (and nearly got him a heart-attack…). She gestured to the little girl. "And this is my most irritating little sister, Meghan." 

"I am _not irritating!" said Meghan. "Can I keep Remus?"_

"He's not a pet!" replied Crystal. "And you don't even know why he's here anyway."

"I do know! He's here to see Nessie. And if I take him home, Papa can show him Nessie. And then Remus can sleep at our house," said the girl quickly. 

"You don't even know if he wants to!" answered her sister.

"Uhm, if I may say something," interrupted Remus. "Firstly I'm not really fond of people talking about me like I'm not there-" Crystal quickly apologised. 

"- and secondly, I really am here for the Loch Ness Kelpie, and I really don't have a place to stay – yet – and I would like to come with you, if that's all right…" he finished.

"I think it's okay," said Crystal after a short hesitation. "And if you're here for the Kelpie, our house might be the best place to stay. My father has done a lot of research on Nessie, as we call him." 

"Oh really?" replied Remus, picking up his suitcase. "Could you tell me more about it?" _Could you tell me more about… yourself? And he mentally hit himself for thinking that. _

"Sure," she said, and started a long lecture about Loch Ness and its Kelpie, with Meghan occasionally making funny and non-informative remarks, while they were walking to Remus' house for the coming three weeks.

~*~

"You know, there's something odd about Nessie…"

"You mean besides him being an ugly, slimy, icky sea monster?" replied Remus. 

The young man next to him on the boat gave him a "haha, funny"look. Meghan really grinned, just like Crystal. The rest of the people on the boat paid no attention to them.

They were floating somewhere on the Loch, taking samples from the water and trying to catch a glimpse of Nessie. 

Meghan had adopted Remus and had showed him around. She'd also introduced him to her nephew Michael, a young man around Remus' age, who'd offered to take him along and tell him more about Loch Ness and its Kelpie. Michael was the one who'd said there was something odd about Nessie. He looked like a stereotype of a Scot: his hair was a mix between brown and red, more red than brown. He was tall, really tall, but had kind blue eyes. The only thing he needed to look more Scottish was a kilt. Most of the time Remus could understand him perfectly, except when he got excited, then he got such a strong accent it almost sounded like another language. 

"Yes, besides him being an ugly, slimy, icky sea monster," continued Michael. 

"You're kidding me," said Remus. "What is it?" 

"He likes attention," said Michael seriously. 

"Oh," replied Remus. Then, after looking around for a few moments: "so that's why I can feed Nessie from my hand." There was indeed a notable lack of Kelpie. 

"Argh!" Michael exclaimed. "There's no talking to him! You tell him," he said to Crystal. "He listens to you." 

"Sure," she agreed. She quickly brushed her long brown hair back, then she said: "Nessie likes attention, which is strange for a Kelpie. Most Kelpies are rather shy. You can find a Kelpie in almost every large lake or river, but you hardly see them."

"Probably also because they mostly appear on quite ungodly hours," added Michael. 

"Hey, who's teaching here?" cut Crystal in. "You said he only listened to me, well, don't interrupt me then!" 

"But what's with the attention then?" asked Remus in an attempt to avoid an argument. "You said Nessie likes attention."

"Yeah, that's so typical about Nessie. Most Kelpies are rather shy, but it seems as if Nessie only appears when you have a camera with you. Nessie is in fact the most spotted Kelpie."

"That's why you have those camera's with you?" asked Remus, pointing at a few camera's hanging in the water. The monitors showed dirty water and sometimes a fish.

"Yes and no," answered Crystal. "The camera's are not really to see Nessie. Of course, it would be great to catch a glimpse, but he rarely shows up during the day. You have the most chance to see him in the early morning or when it's nearly night. And he likes fog."

"Muggles have a few pictures of him, but they think it's fake or that the person who saw Nessie was drunk," added Michael. 

"How can you make a fake Nessie?" Meghan wanted to know. 

"An inflatable thing, or just some pieces of wood floating on the water, or they think it's just a few rocks that seem like a Kelpie," said Crystal. "When there's a lot of fog it's easy to see things that aren't there."

"Okay," said Remus. "That sounds reasonable. Now I'm going to ask the most stupid question imaginable. What exactly _is _a Kelpie?" 

"What a stupid question! You don't know what a Kelpie is?!" cried Michael and Crystal simultaneously. 

"Just joking," said Crystal quickly when she saw Remus' face. "A Kelpie is…" She turned to her sister. "Well?"

"A waterdemon," Meghan said. "It can take a lot of shapes, like a sea serpent or an otter or a fish or a frog or a butterfly-"

"Not a butterfly, Meg. Butterflies aren't water creatures," corrected Michael.

"- or a horse. Most Kelpies are horses," continued Meghan. "And you need to go and sit on the horse, and then it walks into the water and you drown and the Kelpie eats you. And you can tame it if you put a bridle over the horse's head. And if you can ride a Kelpie without being eaten your most deepest wish will come true." She looked at Michael. "Right?"

"Ten points for you," her nephew said. "That was perfect."

"Kelpies sound like the ideal pet to me," concluded Remus. "They change shapes and they eat you. Where can I get one?" 

"The local pet shop," replied Crystal. "Or catch Nessie. But he usually takes the shape of a sea serpent, so a bridle won't be of much use to you." 

The four of them were joined by a tall man with wild grey hair which made him look intimidating. But Remus knew Mr McCowan, Crystal and Meghan´s father, was a kind, warm man who had generously offered Remus to stay at his house for as long as he wanted. 

"We'll be going back soon," he announced. "We don't have much to do, we're almost done. I hope we have Haggis for dinner!" He grinned at Remus. Haggis and Remus had become sort of an in-joke. Remus had tried the typically Scottish dish the first evening but had so thoroughly disgusted it that he had amused everyone with the faces he'd pulled. Remus and sheep entrails somehow didn't mix. 

"Don't worry," Crystal assured Remus. "I know we have pea-soup for dinner. And tonight I´ll take you with me to the pub, to meet some friends of my father. They know almost everything about Nessie."

"Good idea Crys," Michael said and then he continued with the sing-song Scottish accent: "And I´ll let you taste some real whisky, none of those tasteless stuff they drink in England. You'll like Scotland, lad, I promise!"   

~*~     

"It looks like tea," said Remus, suspiciously eyeing the brown liquid in his glass. 

"Tea?" said Michael offended. "Well, it bloody well isn't!" 

"Bloody?" imitated Remus. "That didn't sound very Scottish!"

"It _damn well isn't!" corrected Michael. "And don't laugh!" he added to Crystal who sat grinning behind her own glass. She stuck out her tongue. _

"So this is Scotland's most famous drink," said Remus, lifting up his glass and studying it in the dim light of the pub as if it was a special potion. 

"Afraid to drink it?" said Michael, daring Remus to drink. 

"Why should I?" replied Remus braver than he felt.

"Then drink."

Remus put the glass on his lips, smiled and took a gulp. It was as if he'd poured boiling hot water down his troath.  

"Holy…" he gasped.

"Are you okay?" asked Crystal.

"It's just…" gasped Remus. "I'm just cooking from the inside…"

"That's the real whisky, Englishman," said Michael with a broad grin. "Stronger than tea, eh?"

"Yeah, a bit stronger," said Remus, blinking to get the tears from his eyes. "But I think I´ll drink the rest a little slower…" 

"Take it easy," said Crystal. "We got all night."

~*~

A few hours later they still sat there. Michael had left them because there were some friends he had wanted to talk to. Remus and Crystal had passed from whisky to the more innocent butterbeer.

"And, how do you like Scotland?" asked Crystal, supporting her head with her hand and looking Remus straight in the face. Her face was lit by a singly candle on the table. The golden light made Remus think he'd never seen someone that beautiful. 

"How do I like Scotland?" he said. "Very much. Beautiful nature, interesting wildlife, although some creatures never show up when you want them to." This reference to Nessie made her smile. "The weather can be horrible, though."

"And the people?" she inquired.

"The people? Nice, kind…" he said. Then, seeing her brown eyes on him, he added: "good-looking, very good-looking."

"Good-looking?" she replied smiling. "All of them? I wouldn't exactly call my uncle Angus good-looking."

"No," he said. "I was actually referring to one person…" 

This time she did not smile. "Do you really mean that?"

"I… Yeah, I think so…" he replied hesitantly. "Yes, I do mean that."

"That's nice," she said. "Because…" she looked away for a few moments, then turned her face to him again. "Because I think… I don't have any objection to that. Quite the contrary in fact. Actually… I believe I think the same about you…"

Remus inhaled deeply, then breathed out again with a soft whistling. "Wow."

"Yeah, indeed, wow," she laughed softly. "That was exactly what I was thinking."

"But, I mean, seriously?" he said, still thinking he must've heard it wrong. This couldn't happen, could it?

"Unless you don't like it of course," she said quickly. "You do like it, right?"

"_Like it?!" he replied. "I… yeah, I like it! God, do I like it!" _

Crystal laughed again, a happy kind of laugh. Her laugh sounded like the feeling Remus had: if the world ends right now, I won't mind, because I already had the happiest moment in my life… 

~*~

Ages later, Crystal checked her watch. "It's getting late," she said. "We should go home." Apparently more people had thought that, because they were some of the last persons who left the pub. 

Outside they found out it was a cold evening. The sky was clouded by thick dark clouds. 

"I think it's going to rain," said Crystal worried, having more experience with the weather in Scotland than Remus. 

"I don't smell rain," said Remus, having a far better nose than Crystal. 

"You can _smell rain?" she said. "That's something I've never heard about before."_

"Yeah, as a matter of fact I can smell a lot better than you or anyone," he shrugged. 

"Really? What do you smell right now?" she wanted to know.

"I smell…" Remus inhaled the air. "I smell water, trees, whisky – that's probably me-" Crystal grinned. "-something fishy. Could that be Nessie? And… I smell you."

"Me? What do I smell like?" 

"Like… you," was his answer. "At least not like whisky. It's hard to explain. You can't explain things you smell. It's like explaining music to someone who's deaf, or colours to someone who's blind. You have to experience it to understand it." 

She nodded. "That's true." She suddenly raised her head up. "But you were wrong about the rain. It _is_ raining!" 

It was as if someone had turned a shower on. Suddenly, rain was pouring down from the sky and it took only moments before Remus was soaking wet. 

"If we had made a bet, I would've won!" Crystal said triumphantly. 

"What would you've betted for?" asked Remus, shaking wet hair out of his eyes. 

She shrugged. "I don't know." She suddenly had a mischievous twinkling in her eyes. "A kiss perhaps?"

"You would have betted for a kiss?" he repeated laughing. 

"Yes. A kiss from you if I was right, a kiss from me if you were right."

"No fair, we already know you won."  

"We can bet for something else." She looked around. "Ehm…"

"We can bet how long it will take before the rain stops," he suggested. 

"Ages," she said. "We can bet if my cat likes staying outside in this weather."

"Sure, with you betting it doesn't like it. No way." 

"And I don't even have a cat. We can bet, er…"

"What if you just kiss me?" he said. "Without betting for something?"

She stared at him for a few seconds. "Okay." Standing tiptoe she gave him a small kiss on his cheek.

"That was-" he began.

"Way too short," she finished his sentence and flung her arms around his neck. 

~*~

She tasted like rain and like something that was totally her. This kiss lasted longer than their first one, and was immediately followed by a thirth kiss. Remus had lost his sense of time; he could've been standing there for hours, but it could also´ve been just minutes. His hands carefully and hesitantly touched her, felt her, until they rested on her hips. 

"What are you doing?" Crystal asked between two kisses.

"I don't know…" he replied.

"Whatever it is, don't stop doing it," and she took his hands and put them around her waist. "Don't stop…"

It was unlike anything Remus had ever experienced. He had kissed girls before; he had been rather popular among the girls on Hogwarts, due to his serious and somewhat melancholic appearance (girls seemed to fall for that), but this was totally different. He had never felt so good, so _alive, like he felt now. _

"You know what," he whispered after four long kisses.

"What?" she whispered back.

"I am deeply in love with you," he said. 

"That's good, because I'm also deeply in love with you."

"And there's something else…"

"What is it?"

"I am só soaking wet, I'm wet to my skin!" They both laughed. 

"We dó look rather stupid, don't we?" Crystal said, while she took a step back to look at him as he stood there in the rain.

"Stupid?" he answered. "No. More like two drowned cats!" 

"Even worse! I suggest we go inside." 

He heartily agreed with that suggestion. They ran the short distance to their house and hastily got inside. The water dripped from their cloaks on the floor. 

"Look at you," she said. "Like you've been standing under a shower with your clothes on."

"May I say that you look the same?"

"Sure," she said, walking up the first few steps of the stairs. 

"You look the same," he said. Then he took a few steps in her direction, and he took her hand. "Wait. I…"

She said nothing but waited for him to say something.

"Just… goodnight."

She bowed over and kissed him lightly on his lips. 

"Goodnight."

He watched her as she walked up the stairs, then he walked into his own room and closed the door softly behind him.

~*~

The next days Remus and Crystal were nearly inseparable. It turned out, much to Remus' surprise, that practically everybody had known that they were in love with each other. Hardly anyone had been surprised.

"It was _so obvious," said Michael. "The way you were looking at one another…"_

Crystal lifted one eyebrow.

"With those eat me-eyes," her nephew added. 

"_Eat me-eyes?" she repeated dangerously. Remus grinned. _

"I'm not going to eat you," he said. "Trust me."

Meghan had been delighted. She had already adopted Remus as her big brother, now she was hoping that he was going to marry Crystal. 

"Are you going to marry?" she asked constantly.

"If you keep whining like this you aren't invited at our wedding," said Remus finally, desperately. That worked, she stopped asking it, but then she was constantly looking at them with an approving look in her eyes. At first it had amused him, then it kept creeping him out.

"It's like having my mother here in the shape of a seven-year old girl," he complained to Crystal. "Like she's saying 'well done, Remus'."

"You have extraordinary eyes, you know that?" she replied, obviously not impressed. 

"Are you listening to what I'm saying?" he asked.

"Sorry, what did you say?" she said.

"Nothing of importance," he answered and he hugged her.

It were almost the happiest days of his life, except for one thing. Something was itching: his conscience. He hadn't told her yet that he was a werewolf, and he had no idea how she would react when she would find out... 

~*~

"What are you thinking about?" Crystal asked one afternoon when he was lost in thoughts and trying to figure out what was the best way to tell her. He suddenly came back to earth when he heard her question.

"Er… you," he said. That was true, he wás thinking about her.

"That's sweet," she said. 

He studied her for a few moments, looking at her sitting next to him. They were once again aboard the boat that belonged to the Nessie-studying wizards. She was wearing a blue coat against the October wind, which could be fairly cold in Scotland. She hadn't tied her long hair back, it was hanging down her shoulders. Occasionally the wind played with it, brushing her hair in her face. 

"What?" he asked when he saw her looking at him and smiling.

"Remus, you didn't hear me again, did you?" she said. "You are such a dreamer!"

"But I'm not the only one," he quoted. 

"Hello, earth to Romeo and Juliet!" interrupted Michael sarcastically. "Can I please have your attention for _one _microsecond?!" He was standing on the front of the boat, waving frantically as if they were miles away from each other. The other wizards in the boat grinned. 

"Now the two lovers decided to join our meeting, I can tell you all why we are here," he continued. "We appear to have a problem. Nessie is lost."

A worried murmur rose. Remus frowned.

"Isn't it that the point, that Nessie can't be found? Muggles are not supposed to see him, right?" he whispered to Crystal. 

"Muggles, aren't, but it's not good if we wizards don't know where he is," she replied, a worried frown on her face. "Nessie is supposed to stay in the loch, were we can keep an eye on him. He can't go swimming around and show himself to Muggles who believe he's not real!"

"So that's why your nephew hasn't got the best mood possible."

"Probably, yes." 

After the murmur faded, Michael continued. "We have no idea where Nessie could be. He hasn't been seen for almost five days, that is, we haven't seen the regular signs, like footprints or an animal suddenly changing into another animal. And the number of fish in the loch only seem to increase, so he's not eating them. Nessie´s existence must be kept secret, or we'll have groups of Muggles coming here to search for him and do God-knows-what with him. Somehow we must find a way to find out where he is. Does anyone have a good idea?" 

"Uhm," said Remus. "Stupid suggestion, but what if we're all going to act like Muggles and walk around with cameras and such?" Everybody stared at him.

"What?"

"Well, y'know," he said shyly, "I've been told that Nessie really likes attention, so why not lure him with that? Just walk around the loch with cameras and tell everywhere around that you're looking for the Loch Ness monster, and maybe…" He stopped in the middle of his sentence. "Stupid idea, forget about it."

"No, quite brilliant, actually," said a wizard Remus didn't know. "And funny. Maybe we should give it a try." To Remus' astonishment, the other wizards agreed with the plan.

"But only for a week," said Mr McCowan. "If Nessie hasn't been found then, we need to take more drastic measures." 

Then they went and tried to figure out what a normal, insuspicious looking Muggle looked like…

~*~

Remus flipped idly through a book he'd already read half a dozen times. Due to the increasing cold and fog, the evening expeditions were cancelled, and the members of the Loch Ness Kelpie Department (or the Nessie Group, as they liked to call themselves) had little more to do than stay inside, read and a bit, and bore themselves to death. 

A soft knocking on the door caught his attention. He looked up and saw Crystal poking her head around the door. "Am I interrupting you with anything?" she asked.

"Not at all," he replied. "Come in." 

He didn't need to say it twice. She started walking around his room, looking at his old suitcase in the corner and reading the titles of the books on the desk, most of them books about the Loch Ness monster. She picked one up and opened it.

"'The Loch Ness monster (scientifical name: _Nessitas__ rhomboptery) is sometimes said to be a Kelpie, a legendary animal which can take the shape of various animals. Others believe the monster, most of the time affectionately called 'Nessie' to be a plesiosaurus, a dinosaur believed to be extinct'." She looked up. "D'you really read this?"_

"No, it's a Muggle book, but I only found that out when I had already read half of it…"

Crystal nodded. "Muggle sources are rather unreliable, because they simply don't believe in Nessie, even though the evidence is sometimes right under their nose."

He grinned in agreement. The stupidity of Muggles was a much-discussed topic among wizards. 'How on earth is it possible that they believe such strange explanations for simple things?' was the most heard comment. 

"What are you reading?" she suddenly wanted to know when she saw the book in his hands. The question rather embarrassed him; it was a Jane Austen novel. He really liked the books because of Jane Austen's wit and sarcastic way of writing, but her subjects were mostly described as being 'feminine', so it wasn't really cool to be caught with one if you were a man. 

"Oh, just a… just a novel," he stammered and tried to hide the book away.

"Can I see it?" she asked, then she saw the title. "_Sense & Sensibility_!" she said delighted. "I love that book!" 

"You do?" 

"Of course! How can you not enjoy it? I like Marianne Dashwood better than Elinor, because she's more lively."

"Hm, I don't know…" Remus said. "Elinor is more sensible, more thoughtful. Marianne is a bit too rash and too wild, I think."

"But at least Marianne got to marry the Colonel," Crystal replied. "And she got Willougby madly in love with her."

"That's not something to be proud of. And I don't really like the Colonel. As a character, I mean."

"Why not?" she said rather aggressively.

"Because he's not in it enough! I'm sure he's a most kind person and all, but you don't really get to know him. He suddenly rides off to London and disappears for chapters before he comes back. He explains a few things, has a few scenes, then Marianne gets ill and Brandon disappears again."

"To be the hero."

"An absent hero. Well, and a few chapters later he lives happily ever after with Marianne. He never really develops, like Mr Darcy in _Pride & Prejudice_ for example." Suddenly Remus heard something in his head, a voice he hadn't heard for years: Sirius. _"I can so see it,"_ he'd said once. _"Remus and his girlfriend, and then they can discuss the virtues of _Mr Darcy_ for hours and hours on end, and they'll never get tired of it." _

He must've been smiling without being aware of it, because Crystal narrowed her eyes and said: "Are you laughing at me?"

"No. It's just something I remembered," he said quickly. "Something an old friend of mine said once."

"Really? What was it?"

"Hm, it's not really important," he tried to avoid the subject. 

She placed her hands on her hips. "What did he say?" she insisted stubbornly. 

"I'll tell you, if… you kiss me," he suggested shrewdly. 

"Are you blackmailing me?" 

"Wouldn't dare," Remus replied angelic. She thought for a moment about his suggestion, then she gave him a long, warm kiss. But instead of stopping after a few seconds, they kept kissing, hungrily, as if it was for the last time. Remus fumbled feverishly with the fastenings of her robes as she unbuttoned his shirt. 

"What are we doing?" he whispered.

"I don't know…" she whispered back. "Just don't stop doing it…"

She pulled his shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall on the ground. Almost at the same time Remus managed to unfasten her robes. He hesitated one last time.

"Sure about this?"

"You talk too much," she muttered. "Sure I'm sure." 

He said no more, but kissed her and gently laid her down on the bed…

~*~

Later, when they were both half asleep, Crystal muttered: "and what was it that your friend said?" 

Remus blinked. It took him a few moments to understand what she was talking about. 

"Oh, that. He predicted that I would be discussing the virtues of Mr Darcy with my girlfriend."

"He was right," she muttered. "He must've got the highest grades in Divination."

"Quite the contrary, actually," he answered. "Quite the contrary…" 

Crystal did not reply anymore. He got a bit closer to her and closed his eyes. He almost instantly fell asleep.


	31. Scotland part 2

**Well, here's the next chapter! **

**I COMPLETELY forgot to mention The Cameo in the last chapter, but you've all noticed her – that woman in the pub – anyway, and if you don't know who she is... then why are you reading Harry Potter fanfiction anyway?! **

**I do hope you all liked the last chapter – according to the reviews, you did! I'm very happy about my idea of posting two versions of that particular bit (you know what I'm talking about...). Fanfiction.net won't be after my skin for posting R-rated stuff in a PG13-fict... **

**About this chapter: my mom reckoned it was a very lousy reason for Remus to, uhm, act or don't act like he does in this chapter (don't want to spoil it for you, just read it), but the only thing I can say in my defence is that, well, I couldn't come up with anything better... shame on me. I had this huge fight planned, people screaming at one another and a werewolf-hunt with people with pitchforks and such, but I cowered out... I couldn't do it! My nerve failed me... just like a certain person's nerve did... and now I'm spoiling the story anyway. I cried when I wrote this (really! Perhaps I shouldn't've listened to all those sad lovesongs...), but when I read it back, I actually dislike/hate it... oh well.**

**Enjoy... more or less... **

"I feel stupid."

"I feel stupider."

"I feel stupidst."

"That isn't a word, Meg."

"It is now!" replied Meghan indignantly. "I just invented it! Who's idea was it, that we'd all dress up like Muggles?"  

"Blame Remus," her big sister answered. "It was his idea." 

"And boy did it make him popular," added Michael cheerfully. 

"Okay, no need to rub it in," was Remus' grumpy comment. "I got it the first time."

"We just all look ridiculous," said Michael. Indeed, the group of wizards on the peer looked utterly stupid, dressed in Muggles clothes that just did not fit together, or with horrible colours that didn't match. "Even with our normal clothes we would look more like Muggles." 

"But it isn't Remus' fault he has a stupid idea," said Meghan protectively. 

"It wasn't?" 

"No!"

"Then who's fault was it?"

"Ehm…" 

"And while Meg thinks about that, we can just go back to our normal business," said Michael, "which is the all-popular Remus-scolding."

"_Now I'm getting depressed," said Remus. "The idea itself was good, wasn't it? Can't you just shut up about it?"_

"No!" replied everybody who heard this comment. 

"Let's get going," said someone after the laughter had faded. The group started walking in the direction of the small harbour, not paying attention to the number of tourist looking curiously at them and taking pictures. A somewhat chagrined Remus was walking in the rear with Crystal, Meghan and Michael. 

"There is a bright side to all this," Michael concluded when he saw two people taking pictures of a wizard, dressed in a bright green kilt and an orange sweater. 

"And that is?" grunted Remus.

"We'll be in photo-albums all over the world! We'll be famous!" 

"Oh sure, they'll advertise for us," muttered Remus, kicking a non-existing pebble. 

"Yep. 'Visit the victims of a tragic fashion-disaster' they'll say," continued Michael merrily. Remus snapped. He fell dramatically on his knees, raised his hands above his head and cried out: "what have I done to deserve this?!" 

"You suggested we'd all dress up like Muggles," said Meghan helpfully. Remus stared at her, lost for words. 

"Okay, show's over," interrupted Crystal. She nudged Remus in his ribs with her knee. "Get up, everybody's looking at us!" 

Obediently, he got to his feet. 

"Now, you go that way," she ordered Michael, pointing to the left. "And we go to the right." 

"Sure," shrugged Michael. And without further discussion he left.

"I don't get him," said Remus, scratching his head.

"I don't think anybody does," replied Crystal. "C´mon, let's go. let's see if we can find the monster."

~*~

Remus carefully tested the muddy ground, to see if he could stand on it properly.  The banks of Loch Ness were covered with plants, pebbles and mud. In the distant, Remus could see the _Ness Quest, the boat filled with wizards, float on the water. The loch itself was quiet and peaceful. A weak October sun tried to warm them all, but it hadn't much effect. _

"I think it's okay," he told the two sisters behind him. He pulled one boot free from the mud with a disgusting sucking sound. "Though it won't be easy."

"That's why we have rubber boots," said Crystal, slowly walking to him, while she carefully placed her feet. 

"Where are we looking for, actually?" Meghan curiously wanted to know.

"We told you," replied her sister a bit shortly. "Nessie. Just look for anything unusual."

"Like?"

"Footprints that shouldn't be there."

"Like hoofprints?" pointed Meghan. Crystal glanced down, then took a better look. There, in the mud, stood clearly a few footprints of a horse. That wasn't that strange, except that those prints showed that the horse came out of the water… 

"Meg, I love you!" she said happily. "And don't look at him like that!" she added after she saw her sister glance at Remus. "You know what I mean!" 

"What are we going to do now?" Remus inquired. 

"I suggest we try and find out where the footprints are going to, and then we contact the others that we found Nessie," decided Crystal. "You're plan seems to work out after all…"

~*~ 

"Well, what did you say about wearing Muggle clothes?" asked Remus teasingly.

"Let me quote you," groaned Michael. "'I got it the first time'…"

"But I was right," Remus said triumphantly. 

"Until we prove it was someone who tried to ride a horse on the banks of Lock Ness," tried Michael. 

"Sure, if you want to believe that…" Remus waved to the bartender of _The Kelpie Spotter, the local wizard pub, named after all those Muggles who claimed to have seen Nessie and who were believed to be drunk. The man behind the bar nodded and started pouring two butterbeers. _

"You certainly embraced our habits," concluded Michael, seeing Remus' signal. 

"Yeah, I think I did…" Remus answered thoughtfully. "Like I've been living here for months."

"And it's not even a month since Meg found you and dragged you home." The bartender arrived with the butterbeer and the two men gladly accepted the warm drinks. "And now you'll be leaving in a few days."

Remus nodded and took a sip of his butterbeer. It was true, but he didn't want to think about it. 

"Can't we really persuade you to stay here?" asked Michael. "You really have a talent for working with animals, you know. We'd be happy to have you in our group." 

"No, thank you. It's really a kind offer, but I can't…"

"Why not?" the other insisted. "What is so important?"

Remus hesitated. "Just…" 

"What?"

"I can't tell you."

"What is it? Some dark secret? Did you kill someone or something?"

Michael looked Remus right in his eyes, his expression honest. He'd become one of Remus' best friends here, someone of his own age, almost like James or Sirius. Remus was on the brink of telling him, but something held him back… 

"Remus, please? Can't you trust me?"

_Can I trust you? Could I trust Sirius? _it shot through Remus' mind. _Why don't you tell him? You told the Marauders. _He opened his mouth.

_But they found out themselves…_

"I… my best friends were killed by You Know Who," he suddenly said. Michael blinked. What he had expected; certainly not this. 

God, that's terrible," he said finally. "I'm sorry, I really am…"

Remus smiled wryly. "Shit happens."  

"Yeah, but this is not some little thing – your best friends!" He seemed to take it far worse than Remus, but Remus had grown used to it. Now that he though about it; he _had _grown used to it. The thought of James and Lily still stung, and he doubted that would ever go away, but it didn't really hurt anymore. 

"When did it happen?" Michael inquired carefully. 

"Almost ten years ago."

"So… shortly before – you know, Harry Potter?"

The name startled Remus for a moment. Though he was used to the fact that James and Lily were death, it was still strange to him that their son was famous. 

"Yes…" he said slowly. "Shortly before that… They were one of the last victims of the Dark Lord." _Well, that ís true…_

Michael shifted shyly with his glass, unsure what to say. Finally, he said: "You think you'll ever come back?", thus giving in to Remus' decision to leave. 

_Why_, pondered Remus, _do people, when they feel sorry for you, tend to let you get away with things they normally wouldn't have accepted?_

"Maybe, I don't know yet," he answered. "If I come back, I´ll try and get you all dressed up like Muggles again."

The tension broke. Michael tried to glare but burst into laughter. "No way. There is no way I´ll ever put those clothes on again!" 

"Not even if I come back?" tried Remus.

"Not even if my life depended on it!" Michael laughed, then continued: "no, seriously, I´d really like it if you'd come back."

"We'll see," said Remus. _It all more or less depends on one person…_

~*~

Only the cry of the birds and the sound of the water broke the silence. Remus was walking next to Crystal, who'd invited him for an evening walk. He had his hands shoved in his pockets and was fighting an internal battle with himself. Okay, he _could _just tell her he was a werewolf, that he transformed into a man-eating animal once a month, and just face the consequences. But he didn't dare think about what she would say, how she would react. _C'mon, admit it, you're just scared. Scared of what she would think of you. There you are, Remus Lupin_, he thought,_ full-grown wizard, qualified in the Dark Arts, and you're worrying about what someone would think of you!_

_But this is not just someone…_he told himself._ I love her. I love her and I'm scared of what she'll think of me, isn't that strange?_

Crystal was unaware of his thoughts. She did notice however that there was something serious on his mind, but she thought it best not to interrupt him. He'd eventually tell her, she assured herself. 

The part of Remus that was telling him that he should tell the truth was winning. _What do you gain with not saying anything? Nothing. She loves you, she'll accept it… _

_And what if she doesn't? Don't think about that. It hasn't happened yet; worry about that later… tell her!_

He abruptly turned to her. "Crystal."

He'd startled her, he could see it. "Yes, what is it?"

"There's… there's something I want to tell you…" Good, that was a good start. 

She nodded encouraging, beckoning him to go on. He took a few deep breaths. _Do it!_

His courage suddenly failed him. He couldn't do it. The mere thought of her hating him – he just couldn't. He had opened his mouth but couldn't say a word. 

"What?" she finally broke the silence. He'd waited too long. 

"I just don't want to go, but – but I have to," he said, and he heard how stupid it sounded. He loathed himself, he could almost feel the tears of disappointment sting in his eyes. 

"I don't want you to go either," she said, stepped forward and took him in a warm hug. He covered his face in her hair and tightly shut his eyes, not wanting to cry. 

_You lost her_, it echoed in his head. _You lost her. You didn't dare tell her the truth, and now you lost her… _

~*~

Remus had greatly disappointed himself. He was scolding himself those last two days because he had lost his courage. He tried to find an occasion to talk to Crystal, but it was no use. Everybody, it seemed, wanted to talk to him, wanted to say a few things "before he left". The only times he had some rest were the evenings and the nights, but he didn't want to disturb them. He treasured those moments, Crystal in his arms, the illusion that time stopped and that that moment was going to last forever. 

But he knew it wouldn't, it never would…

~*~

"I miss you already," said Meghan, a sad expression on her face.

"And I'm not even gone yet!" replied Remus, trying to sound cheerful. 

"Shows how much she likes you," said Michael. He stretched out his hand. "Too bad you're going. But maybe later?"

"Maybe," Remus said, shaking the other man's hand. _Probably not, though…_

"Can I take you to the station?" Meghan begged.

"No," Crystal said. "I'm taking him to the station." The tone of her voice warned her sister not to try and ask it again. 

"Okay," she replied timidly. 

Remus picked up his old suitcase. "Did I say goodbye to everyone?"

"I guess so," said Mr McCowan. "Time to go."

Remus nodded. He had never known just how much the old man knew of Remus' relation with his daughter, and he'd probably never find out either. It was too late to start worrying about that. 

"Goodbye then."

The others waved and called "goodbye!" after him as he started walking in the direction of the train station, Crystal at his side. When he was about to turn a corner, he turned around once more and waved. Then he walked on and they were gone. Crystal took his arm and held on to it as if she would die if she didn't. She pressed her lips together and her eyes shone with tears she didn't want to cry. He laid an arm around her shoulder and she buried her face in his coat, biting her lip, still trying to hold back her tears. 

"Don't go," she whispered. "Please don't go…"

He didn't say anything, he knew that she knew that it had no use, that he would go. Instead he held her close in his arms, trying to comfort her. After some time, he said: "we should be going, the train…" 

"Yes." She stepped back, swallowed some tears away. "Let's go then."

They continued their way to the train station, close together, those last minutes. They reached their destination far too soon. 

"We're ten minutes too early," concluded Remus after checking the times the train departed. _We have ten minutes left_, he thought. 

They looked at each other, lost for words. Remus studied her face and tried to memorise it, every line of it, how she looked as she stood there. 

_It can't have been ten minutes_, they both thought when a bright blue train entered the station. It came to a noisy halt, it's doors opened and people streamed out of it. 

Remus felt slightly panicked. He took her hand, not wanting to let go. 

"Remus…" she said, her face showing what he felt. "No…"

He pulled her closer and kissed her for the last time, sadly and longingly. She answered his kiss, then pushed him back.

"Go," she whispered. 

"I´ll write you," he said, already half in the train.

"No, don't write me," she said, tears flowing down her face. "Don't write me, please. I couldn't stand it…" Her eyes begged him to understand. 

Somewhere, a whistle blew. The train started moving. He held on to her hand until he had to let go. Her mouth silently said his name. Her hand was stretched out, as if she was still holding his hand. 

He looked at her until the tears blurred his vision. 


	32. Wolfsbane

**-sigh-**

**Well, that was very sad, wasn't it? At least this chapter is a bit happier! **

**One of the characters in this chapter is called Midas, and he was supposed to be named after the Big Bad Wolf from the Disney comics, but then I found out he apparently only has a name in the Netherlands... oh well. **

**Have fun, and review, please! I hope to hit 100 reviews before the end of this fict, and after this chapter, we only have two more to go, so... review!**

**Summer of 1992.**

_"The potion that professor Snape has been making for me is a very recent discovery."_

_ "End of the schoolyear of 1976-1977."_

Lily's bright red hair stood out in the sunlight, although the black and white photo did not show any colours. She was sitting with James, Sirius and Peter on a bench under a tree on the Hogwarts grounds, all dressed in their Gryffindor robes. James was wearing his Headboy-badge, Peter's tie was a messy knot and Sirius wasn't wearing a tie at all. As usual. In their second year, Professor McGonagall had decided to stop telling Sirius off from not wearing the scarlet and yellow striped tie, because it had no use, he simply refused wearing it. He only wore it on two occasions: the beginning and end of years feast. 

Remus thought back to the day he had taken this picture while he took a knife and carefully cut the photo out of the album. They'd just heard they'd all passed their exams and were in a festive mood. It had been James' idea to take pictures. 

Remus was happy for it: now he had at least _some pictures to send Harry. He'd got a letter from Hagrid, asking if he had some photos of James and Lily to give Harry. Remus had immediately searched his photoalbums (well, after he had fought off the desire to kick the Dursleys hard and very painfully for not showing Harry pictures of his parents), but was amazed when he found out how little pictures he had with only James and Lily on it. Most of them had all the Marauders on it, but no Lily. Remus became slightly frustrated when he'd leafed twice through his albums and found only two pictures: that one made at the end of their seventh year, and one made at James and Lily's wedding. He packed the three albums back into the box he kept them in and brought them back to the attic. He stood there for a few minutes, looking around the messy and dusty attic, when he saw a familiar carton box with familiar handwriting on it. _

_"I have not opened it – I wonder if I ever will…"_

Only moments later he was on his way downstairs again, the carton box in his hands. 

~*~

 The knife ripped easily through the old layers of Spellotape. Remus blew off the dust and opened the box, carefully, wondering what he would see. He had to admit: it didn't look like much. A few leather-bound books, a small square box and a bundle of yellowish paper and parchment, nothing more. 

First he picked up the bundle of paper and leafed through it. Drawings, letters, even a Transfiguration essay from James (top marks, not surprising), but nothing really interesting. 

The square box contained some jewellery and other objects which weren't really interesting. Or… His fingers suddenly dug into the mess of jewellery and took out a leather necklace with a circular pendant attached to it. The pendant showed a crying wolf. It's left side was vaguely shaped like a quarter of the moon, and three small blue precious stones were set into the metal of the pendant. Remus looked at the necklace in amazement. It had been his once, a gift from his Marauder friends to Moony, but he had lost it in his seventh year. He had no idea that James had found it, let alone that he had kept it. He hung it around his neck and continued searching through the box. 

He took out the books. Most first of them were just novels, most of them had _"Lily Evans" _written in them. Finally he found what he was looking for: a photo album. The leather creaked when he opened the album. Someone had written, in fine curly handwriting _"James Harold Godric Potter" on the first page. Remus grinned. Poor James. Having to live with such a name. _

The few ten pages or so were filled up with babypictures of James with the familiar wild Potter-hair. James beamed at him from every page. Remus quickly leafed to 1971, their first year of Hogwarts. All the while he had the feeling he was doing something wrong, as if he was trying to sneak into someone's house or reading someone's diary. 

He realised he was facing a problem when he had found a picture he thought was good enough to give Harry. He was about to cut it out of the album, when he suddenly remembered he had planned to give the carton box, with it contends, to Harry. And he was sure Harry wouldn't appreciate an incomplete photoalbum… 

Grumbling he decided he would just send Hagrid the two photos he had found in his own album. He put them in an envelope with a note explaining when the pictures where taken, took a quill, scribbled "Hagrid, Hogwarts" on the envelop and send it away with the owl Hagrid had send him. 

~*~

_A few weeks later._

Hot water poured down on his bend head, down his back. Remus closed his eyes and leaned with his head to the wall. The water warmed him to his bones and stopped the aching in his muscles. He turned the left tap a little farther open and clouds of steam filled the shower. 

One would think that transforming would become more easy after all those years, but it seemed as if it only got more painful. The last few months he had woken up with a terrible pain in his muscles, and once he had given himself some severe bruises on his head because he had walked headlong into the wall of his basement, where he used to lock himself into. Maybe he was just getting old.

He came to that conclusion again when he was looking in his reflection in the mirror, after he'd stepped out of the shower. His hair was now definitely greying, and the lines in his face seemed to have deepened after his trip to Scotland, two years ago. He had never gone back, nor had he heard from one of the wizards there, except for that one letter Michael had send him three weeks after Remus had left. Michael had send him some photos he had made. Remus had put them in his album and tried to forget about them.

He put on a shirt and loose-fitting pants and walked, still a bit shaky, downstairs for his breakfast. Still chewing on a sandwich with bacon, he checked his mailbox, more out of habit than because he was expecting mail. To his surprise, there was a white envelope in his mailbox with his name on it, in a strange dark green ink. Wondering as to what it was he ripped it open with one nail (one of the advantages of being a werewolf was that you usually didn't need a knife to cut your mail open) and took out a single piece of parchment with "Werewolf Registration Department" in the upper left corner. He frowned. Despite being registered and having visited a "Werewolf Acceptance Group" once, he rarely visited the Department at St Mungo's. As far as he knew, hardly any werewolf did. Having to live with Lycantropy was hard enough without people treating you like a dangerous animal, a ticking timebomb. He started to read the letter. 

He was frowning when he had finished the letter. Apparently they thought they had found a cure for Lycantropy, for being a werewolf. Remus' parents had searched for years for such a cure, and now he was invited to come and test it. But to be honest, he doubted if one could actually cure it. He'd just have to wait and see…

~*~

_Three weeks later…_

Remus' shoes squeaked on the clean floors of St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. He followed the signs to the Animal Department (another reason for not going to the Werewolf Registry), almost tripped over a group of rather aggressive Kneazles running loose in the hallways, an angry wizard on their heels, saw three wizards bowing for a bored looking Hyppogriff, and finally saw a small, almost invisible, sign which said "_Werewolf Registry Department". The sign looked shabby, in fact the only sign which looked older and worse taken care of was the sign that pointed to the Centaur Department, which almost fell off its pin. _

The Werewolf Registry seemed deserted. There was a small brass table bell on the counter. Remus had rang it several times before someone showed up. A nervous looking man appeared, fearfully eyeing Remus.

"How can I help you?" he almost stuttered. 

Remus took the letter from his pocket. He needn't say a word; when the man saw it, he muttered "Oh, I see. Wait here please." And with that he disappeared.

Remus drummed his fingers on the counter and tried to ignore the people who occasionally walked by and stared at him. He also tried to ignore the bright red circle around the words "full moon" on the calendar on the wall opposite him. At long last the man returned with a man in a white coat at his side. A doctor. 

"Mr Lupin?" he said. "If you'd follow me." Without further introduction he turned and walked away. Remus shrugged. Apparently they didn't like werewolves here. 

The doctor opened a door and indicated that Remus should get in. He handed him a few sheets of paper and pencil. "If you would be so kind as to fill this in." Then he left. 

Remus quickly read through the sheets of paper. It was a questionnaire. Fun. 

He sat down on one of the chairs in the room and started filling it in. 

_"Please write down you name, address and birthday."_

Remus scribbled it down.

_"When and where (on which location) were you bitten?"_

Hm. He thought about this for a moment, then remembered the date and wrote it down, together with the location. 

_"Where are you bitten? (where on your body)"_

Nice that they took the time to explain the questions. Remus filled in "on my right leg" and proceeded to question number four. 

_"Have you tried to find a cure, or have you helped with research (for example by testing potions)"_

No. Fair and simple. Next question. 

_"Have you ever bitten anyone?"_

Tough one. No, not as far as he could remember, but what if… let's make it a no, he was fairly sure James or Sirius would have told him if he had ever bitten someone. Remus scribbled "no" on the questionnaire. 

He was about to read the next question when the sound of an opening door caught his attention. He looked up and saw a woman enter the room. She seemed younger than Remus, her hair was dark and thick, and she was dressed in a small top and a rather short skirt. But this was not the thing that had caught Remus' attention. The moment she had came in and had looked at him with her bright yellow eyes, he had know, had _felt _that she was a werewolf. He had rarely ever met one of his own kind, and he was amazed by the feeling of unison, the feeling of finally being with someone he could understand, and who understood him. And the images.

The images of running through a forest after it had just rained, of howling to a round moon, of the thousands of different scents through a wolfs nose, the thunder of a stag's hoofs and a dog's paws behind him…

Remus shook his head and the images disappeared. He concentrated on the questionnaire again and saw there were only two questions left. Good. 

_"Do you have, or did you have, a sexual relationship with someone?"_

He blinked. What? He reread the question, but it was still the same. He filled a simple "yes" in and read the last question.

_"Do you, or did you, have a paid job?"_

No. That's what he wrote down. Then he sat back and started fumbling with his pencil. 

"You've filled it all in?" asked a hoarse voice suddenly. Remus jumped and turned to the woman who had spoken. She had also put her pencil down. She nodded to his questionnaire. 

"Yes."

"Ah." She seemed to consider something for a moment, then said: "my name is Lova. Fellow werewolf."

"I'm Remus." 

"When were you bitten?" 

"More than twenty-five years ago."

She shook her head. "I not even five years ago. In my shoulder, you see?" She turned her left shoulder to him and pushed her top a bit to the side, to show him an interesting tattoo. It looked like an Indian tribal. "You see it? I got a tattoo made over it because it looked horrible. Here." She pointed the scar out for him, followed the lines with her finger. Remus saw that almost half of the tattoo was actually scar, and it was so close to her neck… 

He was about to say something about that when the door opened again and a huge, almost square man entered the room. He looked like the stereotype of a werewolf; he had heavy eyebrows, bright yellow eyes, thick dark hair and sharp, canine teeth. 

"Hello."

Remus and Lova greeted back and the man sat down with his questionnaire. It didn't take him long to fill it in. Then he also leaned back and introduced himself as Midas. The following conversation was polite and careful, the three of them were testing each other, trying to find out how strong that feeling of unison was. 

Shortly after they'd begun talking, the doctor Remus had seen before entered the room. He invited them all to follow him. Curious, they did so, leaving the questionnaires behind. 

The three werewolves walked through the corridors of St Mungo´s, they passed a rather large portrait of Newt Scamander, the founder of the Werewolf Registry, and finally found themselves in a large, laboratory-like room. There were cauldrons steaming and boiling, and there were four large cages on one side of the room. Remus didn't need much imagination to make up where those cages were for, but he was more curious about the cauldrons. 

"Well, here's the most important thing of all," said the nameless doctor, pointing to one cauldron. "We call it Wolvesbane potion, because that's what the main ingredient is."  Seeing the doubting faces of the three, he added: " yes, I know Wolvesbane is poisonous, but in carefully added doses…" His voice trailed off. "Anyway, we would appreciate it-" Remus could only imagine how hard it was to say those words "- if you would test some of it."

"Just for once?" said Midas. 

"Ah, no, actually, from now until the next full moon, which is in…"

"Eight days," added Lova. "Wonderful. We have eight days to poison ourselves."

Everybody turned to Remus, who hadn't said anything so far. He took his time to consider, then finally said, thoughtfully: "Wolfsbane might be poison, okay, but if it's a cure to Lycantropy…" 

"You'll take it?" one of the wizards near the cauldron said eagerly. Remus shrugged. 

"I guess so."

Now he had decided to take the potion, Midas and Lova also agreed, however reluctantly. Three goblets with Wolfsbane were prepared for each of them. Remus stared down in his and felt his stomach turn at the smell. 

"Come on," someone said encouraging. Remus took a deep breath and swallowed the contents of the goblet. He doubled over and almost threw up, but managed – if only just – to keep everything inside. 

"It's only for eight days," said a wizard soothingly. 

_Only _for eight days?!

~*~

_Eight days later…_

"Did you took the potion every day?" 

Remus nodded, and the wizard who had asked the question marked something off on a sheet of paper. 

"Did you took the potion as we gave it to you, or did you add something, for example to change the taste?"

"No," said Remus. Midas, however, said: "yeah, I first added sugar, but that made it tasted like a fizzy drink which was over date, so I added a bit of whisky." And, after he noticed everybody was staring at him: "well, at least it tasted better…"

"Okay," said the wizard, after scribbling something down. "Final question. Did you notice any changes, anything strange at all?"

"I felt nauseated for a week," said Remus.

"Me too," said Midas. 

"Oh, I felt dizzy," interrupted Lova. "And the normal signs of Lycantropy that you usually see before the full moon didn't show up, thank god." 

The other two werewolves nodded in agreement and the wizard smiled broadly. "That's what we want to hear. That was everything."

"Yes, if you'd come over here please?" someone else immediately called. It was a typical example of the excited rush that had take hold of the wizards at the Werewolf Registry. Remus, Lova and Midas were being pushed from this side of the room to that, and had barely time to catch their breath before someone else was already examining them, asking them questions or whatever. 

Now they were being pushed to the cages along the wall. Of the whole research thing, Remus thought this was the worst part; being locked up in a cage with everybody watching you, to see if something happened. 

"So, we're going to lock you up in these cages," a slim wizard said a bit too cheerful. "There's a cage for each of you. The sun will be setting in about half an hour, and we would like you to be in your cage by then." The three of them shrugged. Whatever. 

The thirty minutes rushed by, and almost before he knew it, Remus found himself locked up. This was a situation he did not like at all. He felt like a monkey in a zoo, with people staring at him. The itching of the coming wolf and the sting of an upcoming headache only made things worse. 

Tension rose as it got darker outside. Remus leaned against the bars of the cage, ignored the softly muttering wizards near him, and stared outside the window in the opposite wall. Midas was pacing his cell like, well, a caged wolf and Lova – 

"Why are you taking your clothes off?" he asked amazed.

"Because I like those clothes and don't want them torn to shreds," she said, and tossed them out of her cage. She was only wearing her underwear now, and her scar was now frighteningly visible. 

"He went for the neck, right?" said Midas, seeing the scar. 

"The neck, the head and the left side of the chest, that's were they go for," sighed Lova, paying no attention to the little woman who was writing down everything they said and did. 

"Yeah, I know," answered Midas. "I'm lucky I only lost my left ear…" It was the first time Remus noticed that the man was indeed missing his left ear. He felt suddenly relieved he had only one ugly scar on his right leg, and wasn't missing any limbs. 

Their desire to talk left them when the moon rose. None of them had ever seen another werewolf transform, and it was almost scary to see the hair grow on Midas' face, knowing that their face was changing as well. The pain was familiar to Remus, but he knew it would fade as soon as his human consciousness would disappear. The only problem was, his human consciousness did _not disappear… _

He witnessed his own transformation, heard his bones snap as they broke and regrew unnaturally fast, felt the fur grow on his body, as if he was covered with thousands of little bugs. His spine felt as if he was being stretched out, and he knew it was his tail growing. It was sickening. 

After ten long torturing minutes the change was completed. Where once had been Remus stood now a large brown wolf, looking, if possible, slightly confused. He sat down and looked at the other wolves. Something appeared to have gone wrong with Midas; he changed, totally. Maybe it was because the potion wasn't strong enough for his large body, maybe it was the whisky, fact was that there was a large black wolf trying to get through the bars of the cage. The wizards all stayed far out of his reach. 

Lova had also changed, but lay calmly in her cage, like Remus. He couldn't help but notice, however, that she looked sick and nauseated. 

He for him tried to ignore the stinging pain in his head. It was as if someone was slowly pushing a large pin in his head. His vision became misty. He shook his head but his headache only increased. He rested his head on his paws and decided to wait for the next morning…

Things got worse when Lova started to throw up blood. She suddenly lifted her head, opened her mouth and vomit just streamed out of it. This caused an outburst of panic among the researchers. Someone had already grabbed the keys, but others held him back. The slim wizard Remus had seen before totally freaked out and cowered in a corner. 

At long last Lova stopped, after she had thrown up all the contents of her stomach it seemed. Three wizards approached carefully with a bright blue garden hose and sprayed her wet and clean. Remus, now being relieved of the smell and sight of vomit, lay down and closed his eyes. He felt delirious, as if he was suffering fever. His head now felt as if someone was jumping up and down on it. In the distant, he could hear two people talk.

"Maybe it's the Wolfsbane?" 

"What, you mean they're poisoned?"

"Yeah. The female obviously is, and maybe the brown one too." 

"If only he would've been here…" the second one sighed. 

"You know what he said, 'the best potion for a werewolf is a strong poison'. Can't say I entirely disagree with him, though." 

"Hm. At least one thing is for sure, he absolutely hates werewolves. Pity, everybody knows how talented Hogwarts Potions Master is…"   

Remus headache increased and he blacked out. 

~*~

"What happened?"

"I don't know! It must've been the Wolfsbane or something. I only know I couldn't do anything but throw up," said Lova, looking pale and exhausted.

"Whatever, I don't remember anything of what happened," cut Midas in.

"Be happy, it wasn't an entertaining sight," Remus assured him dryly. 

The doctor who _still _hadn't introduced himself entered the room where they were sitting, the same one they had first met and had made their questionnaires. He looked utterly cheerful, even with his lack of sleep. 

"Excellent!" he said. "That was fantastic for our first try!" 

"He sounds as though we've just performed a play or something," muttered Midas.

"Although we had some complications," the doctor continued, ignoring Lova´s sarcastic look, "we've accomplished everything we wanted. But I have one request."

Silence. 

"Uhm, would you three mind trying the potion again? We've made some improvements, and I'm sure it works this time!" The man's good mood was annoying.

"Take the Wolfsbane potion again?" repeated Lova. "No thank you. I've had had enough of it. Give it to me when it's finished."

Her statement startled the doctor, but he turned hopefully to Remus and Midas. "And you?"

Midas contemplated about the request a few moments, then turned his head to Remus. "What do you think?" 

Remus immediately shook his head. "No, I don't do it anymore. Once was more than enough for me." 

Midas shrugged. "Fine. But I'm trying it again. I want to be cured." 

"Excellent!" cried out the doctor, happy that at least one werewolf agreed. Remus wanted to hit him in the face for his cheerfulness and his broad smile. "I promise you all, in a few years, or months even, you'll be cured of your Lycantropy! Wouldn't that be wonderful?" 

Remus lifted both his eyebrows, amazed at the man's stupidity. A cure for Lycantropy? Maybe the effects would be tempered, the wolf could be kept in control, but he doubted if any potion could take away the pain and the prejudices that were a part of a werewolf's life…


	33. Going back

**Summer of 1993.**  
_"And I must draft an advertisement for the Daily Prophet too" Dumbledore added thoughtfully. "We'll be needing a new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Dear me, we do seem to run through them, don't we?"_  
  
"Romulus, stop sending me letters with that stupid owl of yours!" Remus cried out when Igor tried, once again, to fly through the window, a huge letter tied to his paw. Utterly irritated, he took the owl inside and untied the letter. The envelope contended only two items: a sheet of paper and a copy of the _Daily Prophet. To Remus' frustration, he hadn't the money to take a subscription of the wizard paper, so if he wanted to know what was happening in the wizard world, he had to visit the library or ask his brother or parents.   
He unfolded the sheet of paper with Romulus' familiar handwriting.   
  
_Hi Animal,_  
The usual greeting. Remus was 'Animal' and Romulus was 'Irritating brat', 'Vampire' and 'Monster', depending on Remus' mood.   
  
_Just something I thought you'd be interested in. I encircled it with red. Don't thank me, thank Julia, because she saw it.   
Greetz from me._   
  
_

Julia was Romulus' wife. He had been married for almost six years now, and they had a little daughter named Thirza, who was now two and a half. She was capable of comprehensible language now, and Remus enjoyed chatting with her about nothing at all, like the ducks in the park she'd fed or the biscuit she was eating.   
He unfolded the paper. The headline was about Gilderoy Lockhart, again, and about the mysterious loss of his memory, apparently because of a tragic accident at Hogwarts, where he had been teaching.   
Since there was no trace of red ink on the first page, he leafed on, the second page, third, fourth, fifth… Still no red circle, until he reached the advertisement page.   
Right under an advertisement for _"Gilderoy Lockhart: my life"_, a book about Lockhart, including what had happened to him on Hogwarts, there was a simple advertisement with the Hogwarts crest as its head.   
  
_"Wanted.  
A Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher for the next term on Hogwarts. Required are a thorough knowledge of the most common Dark Arts and Creatures as well as Advanced. Practical experience not needed, but very much appreciated.   
Hogwarts will provide meals, accommodation as well as other facilities you might require.  
Letters of application can be send to Headmaster Albus Dumbledore."   
  
Letters of application…_ Romulus had underlined that sentence three times. If anyone would hire a werewolf as a teacher, it would be Dumbledore. _Other facilities you might require… A Whomping Willow perhaps? An, apparently, talented Potion Master, capable of producing a Wolfsbane Potion?   
Remus took a quill and some parchment and started writing a letter to Dumbledore.  
~*~  
_Some weeks later….   
_Remus anxiously turned the page of the Daily Prophet. He had taken a subscription for a few weeks, just to check… A relieved sigh escaped him when he saw the now familiar advertisement with the Hogwarts crest. Apparently, the job of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher wasn't popular, although rumours said it was one of the best paid jobs on Hogwarts.   
He leafed back to the second page, ignored the photo of the large family that had won the annual Galleon draw (Remus had bought a ticket himself but hadn't won anything, and he wasn't eager on watching others enjoying the money he didn't get) and started filling in the crossword.   
~*~  
_Again some weeks later…_  
The bucket slowly rose to the edge of the well. Remus took it and lifted the heavy, water filled bucket up. He carried it slowly and carefully back to the house and emptied it in the sink. Now he could finally do the dishes, or better, enchant the plate and his cup so they would wash themselves.   
He left the tinkling dishes alone and walked outside again, enjoying the warm summer morning, the sound of the birds in the trees and the bright colours of the flowers in his garden and the ivy twines growing up the outside walls of his house.   
A large grey owl approached and dropped a paper on the grass. The animal waited patiently until Remus had put some knuts in the little leather bag that was tied to the animal's paw. As it soared away, Remus bent down and picked up the _Daily Prophet_. The headlines immediately caught his attention, and he almost dropped the paper again when he read them: _Sirius Black escaped! _  
There was a photo next to the article, which showed a filthy, skinny man with long tangled hair, a ratty beard and a suspicious but somewhat tired and depressed look in his eyes. In short, he didn't look at all like the Sirius Remus remembered. He covered the picture with his hand and quickly read the article.   
Apparently, Sirius had managed to escape the attention of the Dementors, the Azkaban prison guards. Remus hadn't even known Sirius was still alive (now he thought of it, if he had died, it would've been all over the papers).   
He couldn't exactly define what he was feeling; he was feeling so much at the same moment. Amazement, yes, maybe a flicker of fear – what was Sirius up to? – something that felt like sadness, though he couldn't explain that. And also an internal battle. He was the only person who knew Sirius was an Animagus, that he could change into a dog. Was that how he escaped? Was that how he avoided being caught? And, more important, should he tell someone Sirius could take the shape of a large black dog? But that would be like betrayal, to a lot of people. First of all to the Ministry of Magic, of course, but also betrayal to Dumbledore, because Remus had knowingly led his friends into danger when he had accepted their plans to become Animagi. And betrayal to Sirius. There was still something of that old Marauder loyalty, which went much farther than not telling a teacher who had pulled their latest prank. They had practically sworn to stand up for one another. Even though Sirius hadn't exactly done that when he'd betrayed Lily and James and had murdered Peter, Remus couldn't bring himself to telling someone what he knew.   
_Later_, he told himself. _I´ll___ tell someone later. If I'm ready. If they haven't found him then, I´ll tell it.   
Maybe.  
~*~  
He could hardly sleep the days afterwards. And when he did fell asleep, finally, exhausted, he was haunted by images he did not wanted to recall afterwards. The nightmares always featured two black-haired men, a red-haired woman and, unexplainable, a bright full moon.   
As the real full moon approached, it got harder for him to concentrate on anything but his dreams, and Sirius. He scanned the papers, not only the __Daily Prophet, but also Muggle papers, to see where he had been spotted, to read what the Ministry was doing to try and catch him. He couldn't decide whether no news was in this case good or bad. Sirius seemed to have vanished from the earth, but Remus was certain he would appear somewhere, some day. He just didn't know when, and that question kept bugging him.   
~*~  
Remus walked about his garden, lost in thoughts. He did not see the colourful flowers, did not feel the warm august sun; he was too occupied with his thoughts. The subject was Sirius, once again. Should he tell someone, or not?  
He was so busy arguing with himself, he didn't notice the barn owl zooming his way until it was already flying over the house. Because of its graceful flying and its seize, Remus immediately concluded it had to be an owl from Hogwarts. Anticipation and suspense immediately flowed through him. Who from Hogwarts would owl him, especially in the middle of the summer? He remembered suddenly that he had forgotten to check on the advertisement in the __Daily Prophet for some weeks now. Could it be? He didn't dare hope.   
It was oddly much like that one occasion, almost twenty-two years ago now, when he had been eleven, and hadn't been sure if he would be accepted to Hogwarts.   
The barn owl flew right above Remus' head, hooted softly, and dropped a thin parchment letter with the all too familiar Hogwarts crest on it. Remus picked it up, his hands shaking a little. He turned the envelope around and saw his name in Dumbledore´s fine curly handwriting. Relief washed over him. News from Dumbledore couldn't be bad. He ignored the nasty little voice in his head that whispered something about Sirius and ripped the envelope open.   
He took out a ticked and a small note. The ticket was for the Hogwarts Express, September the first, King's Cross Station, platform 9¾. The note only contained two words.  
_"Welcome back."__


	34. Epilogue

**I really hate to say it, but THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER!!! **

**But… there's a sequel! Yay!**

**Oh, the poem-thingy at the end is from "A Midsummer Night's Dream" by one Will Shakespeare. Never heard of the guy… ;-) **

**Epilogue.**  
  
The bright red train was steaming. The platform, 9 and ¾, was crowded with Hogwarts students, from nervous little first-years with their parents to tall last-year students talking to their friends. Remus stood alone at the end of the platform, watching them. It looked so much like his own schooldays, and yet it didn't.   
The memories…  
_"Ready to go back to another Hogwarts year, filled with pranks and Snape torture?"_  
He shook his melancholic mood away and picked up his old battered suitcase. The poor thing had certainly seen better days. Remus had packed his things yesterday evening, but when he'd lifted up his suitcase, it had decided to give up, and it had clapped open. Everything had fallen out. Remus had had to use string to tie his suitcase together. Then he had stamped his name on it, but the ink had been so dry and so old, it was already peeling off. Nice first impression his students would get of their new teacher.   
After once last glance to the crowd of students, he got on the train. Looking for a compartment, he passed several students who were looking curiously at him.   
Suddenly, he noticed where he was going. The last compartment, _their_ compartment. Smiling inwardly, he started walking faster, hoping no one was sitting there.   
When he'd reached his destination, he glanced through the window in the door. Empty.   
He softly opened the door, stepped inside. He looked around the compartment. When he closed his eyes, he could see three boys sitting on the benches, eating candy and plotting pranks…   
_"Sirius, how about we find a way into Slytherin dungeons and turn it all red and gold?"  
"Haven't we done that before?" _  
He would usually sit quietly in a corner, pointing out errors in their plans. Without hesitation, he sat down in that very same corner, after he'd put his suitcase in the luggage rack above him. His place was next to the window. Peter always sat opposite him, James next to him, while Sirius always took a seat next to Remus.   
Remus would usually stare out of the window and enjoy the view, while listening to his friends. He never missed a word of their conversation, though he would seem far away.   
He suddenly yawned. His eyes pricked from a lack of sleep. He had transformed only days ago, and was still exhausted. He was actually about to fall asleep right on the spot…   
Blinking, he shook his head to wake himself up. Ridiculous, to fall asleep in a train. Stifling another yawn, he looked out of the window and saw the last students get into the train. A red-haired identical twin walked by and got in.   
Tiredness blurred Remus' vision. He blinked and yawned at the same moment. His head sunk down and he closed his eyes. _A little time wouldn't hurt…_  
He fell asleep, ignorant as to what the future would bring for him, not knowing what would happen this coming year, unaware of the events that would reunite him with people he had thought lost…   
  


_If we shadows have offended,  
Think but this, and all is mended:  
That you have but slumbered here  
While these visions did appear.  
And this weak and idle theme,  
No more yielding but a dream,  
Gentles, do not reprehend:  
If we pardon, we will mend.  
And, as I am an honest Puck,  
If we have unearned luck,  
Now to escape the serpent's tongue,  
We will make amends ere long;  
Else the Puck a liar call:  
So, goodnight unto you all.  
Give me your hands, if we be friends,  
And Robin shall restore amends._  
  
**The end**  
  


**Long author's note…**  
  
- sigh – that was it… end of story. Finally.   
I calculated yesterday that I spent one year and three months writing this – I started April 14 2001 with what would later be known as "James & Lily" and finished this on July 12 2002. When I was on vacation last summer, Sirius hadn't even attempted to kill Snape. I had just finished the ball on Halloween and was in Scotland at the moment I did my final exams (and passed with good marks, thank you).   
There are some cameo's and guest appearances in this fict. Let me name them for you:   
- First of all Beth Black, Sirius' little sister. She's an actual person who wanted to be in this (well, she actually wanted to date Sirius, but that part was already taken) so there she was.   
- Anne Zwarts is a real person too; my best friend in fact. She kind of threatened to kill me if I didn't let her go to the ball with Sirius and I wrote the whole "would you want to go with the ball to me?"chapter especially for her, on her request…  
- Anne Zwarts' friend, who wanted to go to the library, is none other than me!   
- Rose and Juvenis Fortus Angelus are real persons too, two people I know from the 'net and who wanted to be in it. and who am I to deny such a request? Juvenis was happy they were in Gryffindor, and Rose, I remember, was extremely happy she said a few words to Sirius…   
- Then Remus' trip to the Netherlands. The two people he almost walked into at the airport were my parents, who had just been married the day before (no it isn't a coincidence that they married on the same day as James and Lily did…).   
- Little Eric and his mother are the brother and mother of Anne!  
- Mr and Mrs Raben are real, though I've never met them or talked to them in any kind of way. Timo Raben, in this fict mentioned as their grandson, is a math teacher at my school and could easily double for Remus, so he had to be in the fict!  
- It's all rather cameo- or guest appearance-less until Remus goes to Scotland. The woman who is writing in the pub is of course JK Rowling. Has she based the character Remus on someone she has met some day? I wonder…  
- The biggest (and best?) guest appearance has Crystal McCowan, who is also a real person. This story was first posted on the forum of harrypotterguide.co.uk, and she was the first to react on my request for a love interest for Remus, so she got the part. But I think this wasn't exactly the ending she had imagined, or hoped for…   
- Not really a guest appearance or cameo, but Midas' name comes from the Big Bad Wolf from the Disney cartoon. Apparently he only has a name in the Netherlands…  
- Speaking of names with a meaning: Lova means female wolf.   
  
Now I could tell you from what I've quoted, but that list is almost endless… just a quick little list then: I've quoted from   
- Harry Potter (PoA, Gof, CoS).  
- Dracula, by Bram Stoker.  
- Pride & Prejudice.  
- Sonnets 130 and 18 by Shakespeare.   
- Romeo & Juliet by Shakespeare.  
- The poem The Raven by Edgar Alan Poe.   
- The song Our Farewell by the Dutch band Within Temptation.   
- The movie Moulin Rouge.  
- Imagine by John Lennon.   
- The movie Galaxy Quest (extra points if you can find that one!).  
- The song Everthing I Do, I Do It For You by Bryan Adams.  
  
That was everything, I think. Hm, that list wasn't that long after all…   
Anything else to say? Ah, where did I get my ideas and inspiration from. Well, most of the large storyline (Voldie etc) comes from Harry Potter books, so that isn't really original. The rest all comes from my sick head… I used a lot of music for my inspiration: I listened to Duel Of The Fates, from Star Wars Episode 1, while writing James and Lily's deaths (it was a coincidence, but very cool) and I fed my sad mood while writing Remus' and Crystal's farewell with sad songs ("Unchained Melody" from the movie Ghost for example). I nearly cried my eyes out.   
Ahm, some more interesting (and funny?) facts:  
- This story has first been released as "The Fall of Voldemort: or the James and Lily Potter story", but everybody calls it "James and Lily".   
- I started writing on april 14 2001 (exactly 89 years after Titanic collided with the iceberg) and finished on Friday July 12 2002.   
- The final Dutch printed version counts 106 pages, which isn't a long story anymore, it is a book!  
- According to my computer, I used (in the Dutch version, that is) 108.520 words and 13.727 lines.  
- I can't count the number of times I played patience on my computer, every time I was out of inspiration… It must be thousands!  
- I, personally, like the parts around October 31, 1981 the best, while I actually hate most of the Scotland chapter. It's so fluffy and mushy… not to mention the NC-17 experiment…   
- I developed three addictions while writing: a Snape addiction, last summer (which made the "Snape is horrible"parts hard but a strange kind of fun to write), an Alan Rickman addiction (after finding out he played Snape in the movie!) and a Lord of the Rings addiction (I have yet to find a person who absolutely hates the movie…).   
  
And last but not least a final word of thanks. Wait, let me do that in a Oscar kind of setting:  
Oscardude: "And now, the award for the best fanfiction about Remus Lupin! The nominees are: euh, ******* (yet to be identified…) and Linda Lupos for her fict "Remus Lupin". And the winner is… *drum roll* Linda Lupos, with "Remus Lupin"!"   
*audience cheers, camera's zoom on Linda, who is excited and amazed. She hugs the people next to her (also yet to be identified…) and makes her way to the stage, where the Oscardude gives her a nice golden statue of a quill on a piece of parchment. Linda hugs the Oscardude too (obviously in a hugging mood) and steps to the microphone*  
Linda: "Oh wow, I never would have thought… I am so excited! * practically jumps up and down* this is really great! Ahm, I want to thank my parents for supporting me, even though they had no idea whatever I was doing or what I was writing, and er, my brothers for inspiring me for the character of Romulus, and, and, all my faithful readers! They supported me through the months and made me write on (even though their begging for more sometimes got annoying…). You have no idea what if feels like, the day after you've posted another chapter, especially when it's a chapter you feel uncertain about (cough cough NC-17 cough cough) and you read all those approving replies! It can really make your day! And let's not forget dear JK Rowling! I did not make up the main character, Remus, he was her idea. I was just playing in her yard, as some people call it… big, mayor thank you!!"   
*is pushed off the stage by the Oscardudes*  
  
Ow, I really, really do not want to go, but I honestly don't have anything else to say… You know what? I'm going to miss writing this, I really am. Even though it was horrible at times, when it simply would not come out the way I had imagined it, or when I had a writing block, or just no time to write, while everybody was screaming for more. And I miss Remus… I always just to think about new chapters in class, when I had nothing better to do. * sighs and is lost in memories*  
If anyone has an idea for a new fanfict, I´ll be happy to hear it!   
Just in an idle attempt to make the farewell less painful, a songtext. "Of Wolf And Man" by Metallica. Is there a song more appropriate for Remus? Mail me!  
  
**Of Wolf And Man**  
Off through the new day's mist I run   
Off from the new day's mist I have come   
  
I hunt   
Therefore I am   
Harvest the land   
Taking of the fallen lamb   
  
Off through the new day's mist I run   
Off from the new day's mist I have come   
  
We shift   
Pulsing with the earth   
Company we keep   
Roaming the land while you sleep   
  
Shape shift nose to the wind   
Shape shift feeling I've been   
Move swift all senses clean   
Earth's gift back to the meaning of life   
  
Bright is the moon high in starlight   
Chill is the air cold as steel tonight   
  
We shift   
Call of the wild   
Fear in your eyes   
It's later than you realised   
  
Shape shift nose to the wind   
Shape shift feeling I've been   
Move swift all senses clean   
Earth's gift back to the meaning of life   
  
I feel I change   
Back to a better day   
Hair stands on the back of my neck   
In wildness is the preservation of the world   
So seek the wolf in thyself   
  
Shape shift nose to the wind   
Shape shift feeling I've been   
Move swift all senses clean   
Earth's gift   
Back to the meaning of wolf and man   
  
  
**The end…?**  
  
_Sunday July 21, 2002, 1.10 hours… _  
  


No, not the end! Do read the sequel, _Prisoner of the Moon_, here at fanfiction.net! 


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